I'm an immigrant to the US and I speak fairly well english even though it's not perfect. when I hung out with my friends back home, i really like to be a part of conversation in a big group. i enjoy making other people laugh and tell stories. now, i moved here and i was hit by culture differences. people jokes differently, they have different conversation and storytelling style, they like to speak different topics. I get stuck in the pack and don't know how to be active in the conversation even though i'm dying to. any body here has a similar experience and what'd be your advice?
2006-09-28 10:44:28 · 17 answers · asked by 21questions 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You sound nice to me, so it shouldn't be a problem unless people just have trouble communicating with you?
What I do is listen a lot. I'm a quiet person who enjoys socializing, who doesn't always feel like I fit in though, for various reasons. (I talk a lot online, but listen a lot offline.) So I listen and pay attention. Then I wait for a good moment to speak upon something that is either related to what the others are saying or something that will lighten or brighten the mood. After a while, people get used to your style and they include you more and more. There will be some people who don't really want to, but that's okay coz there are people who will want to be your very best friends too, and that makes up for anyone with a small mind toward you. Just be friendly and be yourself.
2006-09-29 06:47:33 · answer #1 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dearest furious8888, First of all, welcome to our country...your english is impressive, believe me, decent American's will not judge you or be put off by your not being excellent at speaking Emglish--they will be impressed, the vast majority of american people do not know another language and EVERYONE understands how difficult learning another language is, especially english for crying out loud, and for the most part, plenty of American-born people don't even speak it that well.
So, give yourself some credit, and just JUMP IN there the way you used to back home, and you will probably be surprised how interested people will be about your broken english and accent--
most Americans will find this a topic of interest, so DO NOT Be afraid, and if you are NOT well received, find other friends/acquaintances, because the ones who would not treat you well and give you an opportunity to show them who you are, are just jerks.
One more thing, we really appreciate a good sense of humor, even if it is different, so go for it, make them laugh.
2006-09-28 10:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Having been a military dependent all of my childhood I am familiar with moving into a new place be it in the country or overseas. I am glad that you are trying to communicate with the People in your area that is a good start. My next suggestion is to check out the churches in the area if you are a religious person. I know when I move to a new town that is one of the first places I go to. The people at the church can help you transition into the area culture better than trying to do it by yourself. If you moved here for work - ask your co-workers to go out with you in small groups at first. If you are here for school hang out at the library, college/hangout place etc. Invite your co-workers/classmates you like over to your place and fix them something from your culture. Bottom line be yourself in whatever you do and wherever you go. You sound a little shy well don't be put your best foot forward and test the water. If they don't like you than it is their loss. Good luck and have fun.
2006-09-28 10:57:55 · answer #3 · answered by victoria b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are talking about. I live in an area where there are many cultures all living together. You just need to find the right people to hang out with and be yourself. When you find kind accepting people you can be comfortable being yourself and learn the language more and asimlate more. They will be happy to get to know you for who you are. You really do not need to change. You just need to get to know people who are happy to know you as you are. Usually areas around universities are good places to find people like this. Try a church that is connected with a university that is your branch. Try contuinuing education classes. Just get connected with the comunity that revolves around the university if you are not involved and you wil be able to find these people. I would love to know someone like you. I would just want to soak up who you are and your culture. It is like traveling for me without traveling. I would not want to make you into someone from here I would want to get to know you for who you are. If you wanted help with english I would be more than willing to speak with you and I am very patient. If you speak spanish I would love to learn that. Just get to know some nice people they are everywhere you just need to find them.
Remember America is a nation of immigants and many Americans forget that. Many people came hear not knowing as much as you do. Being social gets you ahead so much because you will learn the language so fast and so much more of the subltle things about it.
2006-09-28 10:50:52 · answer #4 · answered by adobeprincess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, great question. Great English, too (rare on this site). Sounds like you just need time to get to know your friends a little better. Humor varies across cultures, so with a little observation you'll find a way to slide your humor in there. Don't feel like you have to tell "USA" jokes, hopefully your crew will appreicate your style of humor.
2006-09-28 10:53:31 · answer #5 · answered by wait_for_it 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes i totally understand u....Im italian and had to learn english in england when i was 11 and then i moved to the US....its hard i know...but u just gotta give it some time! Just hang out with people a lot and u will be part of them pretty soon!! Good luck!!!
2006-09-28 10:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
just relax and don't stress out about being involve in the conversations. just let thing flow by engaging in a casual conversation about your hobbies. if they're your friends, they wouldn't mind what you have to said. coming from a different culture, what makes us unique. you should be proud of who you are. just give yourself some times to adjust to these culture differences. have confidence in yourself and be proud of your background. you'll be surprise how others will accept you.
2006-09-28 10:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by samdrian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They can see or hear that you are an immigrant. If you have something funny to say, tell them, "In my country this is funny...."
or truthfully ask, "Let me know, is there anything funny about this joke? How would you guys tell it." Be upfront. Admit your nervousness due to out of your culture. We would like to know what is funny in your culture and what is not. Always fess up and state your situation and ask for help or opinion.
2006-09-28 16:44:16 · answer #8 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you would feel better with one on one conversation for a start. All you need to begin that is eye contact and a smile, I am positive you won't have any problems after that
2006-09-28 10:48:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try not to be so self conscious of your culteral and language differences. Any one who matters won't be concerned about this. Get out there and gain more experience and you'll adapt and feel much more comfortable.
2006-09-28 10:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋