I worked with this person for over a year & during this time she made it VERY clear that she was attracted to me. She also admitted having "experiences" in the past so obviously didn't have a problem with a perons sexuality.
We got on really great together but I decided to resign from my job as i didn't want to make things complicated. I told her by text my feelings for her & she didn't even reply.
I found out from a mutual friend/ex worker she told every1 at work.
This was five months ago now & i saw her for the 1st time last week. She smiled & said hi.
I'm devestated that i have lost her as a friend. Even though i feel so betrayed I just wish she would have given me the chance to explain. When it happened i did send a letter apologising.
Why has she rejected me even as a friend? I miss her so much, but still feel confused to why she reacted this way.
Even if i have to wait a long time i will, but is there a way of ever putting things right between us again?
2006-09-28 09:56:37 · 15 answers · asked by onebrokensoul25 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thank you so much for all your answers guys. I truely appreciate it.........
I was so stupid. I know if i'd said something to her face things would have been a lot different.
Part of me still feels angry to why she reacted this way when she very much gave the impression she wanted something to happen between us.
I just feel that i deserve at least some kind of explanation. I do forgive her, but it seems i will never be able to move on. Mainly because i've lost friends through it all.
I hope one day she will speak with me & i will learn the truth.
Thank you again
god bless
2006-09-28 15:08:13 · update #1
She was not a friend or she would not treat you this way...Like the work "love" I think sometimes the word "friend" is used to freely....
2006-09-28 10:08:41 · answer #1 · answered by M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she was curious and then began leading you on, not fair on you though i dont think she realised how far she went, and feels confused about how to handle it as you left the job for her, maybe she felt she wasnt ready for you to make such a big sacrfice for her and she didnt want the commitment yet.
by telling everyone in work is just away for her to talk about what happened and to realise, what was going on and how it got so deep. if i was you i would leave it for now, if anything happens after that it will be her that makes the move, and she will feel comfortable with it, if not move on now. the friendship can be built upon after time but only if you show you have moved on. dont feel hurt about her telling people she is obviously looking for advice in this and answers the same way you are. hope you find someone special and also get your friendship back with her, good luck x
2006-09-28 10:10:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is much you could have done differently. Sadly it seems that despite her flirtations she doesn't want to go out with you. If you were a boy she would be called a cocktease. Dunno what the right term would be. Fannytease? Anyway, she's obviously not gf material after all.
As for dropping you as a friend - some people feel funny about being friends with people they know fancy them. I'm a bit like that. Especially if she used to flirt. Now she won't be able to flirt with you any more. But mostly I think it is because there is some embarrassment on both sides. She'll feel bad for blabbing to everyone, and you feel embarrassed for thinking she might want to go out with you. As a result, neither of you have felt like calling up the other.
I'm tempted just to say that you should move on. She sounds a rubbish friend to me. You could call her up, have a chat, see if she wants to meet up. But you might just be lining yourself up to be hurt again. Concentrate on meeting new friends, and maybe one might turn out to be good gf material.
2006-09-29 04:17:55 · answer #3 · answered by helen g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is one of those situations, when someone who has been a friend for a long time, then tells you they like you more than a friend, this can change your way of thinking about that person. Not it a horrible way, but like, it sort of puts you off them, if you don't feel the same. (if you understand what I mean) I had a friend who had feelings for me, and I didn't feel the same and it did change our relationship.
Anyway, take no notice. Lifes too short.
2006-09-29 04:37:25 · answer #4 · answered by bizzybee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, you've gone from play to real and now you know that she was playing. What you told her was something that you should have first felt out and then ventured in a face-to-face.
This reminds me of one of those Southwest Airlines commercials. The guy is talking on the cell phone plugged in his ear and his assistant hears him say he loves her. She reluctantly responds with a "I love you too" He angrily gives her a "Do you mind?" and points to his phone--which is when the narrator says, "Want to get away?"
She may be a friendly acquaintance in public, but I'd wave good bye to thoughts of real friendship.
2006-09-28 10:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People can be mean
I have been mean to the people I love the most.
You don't work with her any more, you probably only meant something to her as a work friend
Move On you will make new friends in time.
Worry about her and you will drive new people away
2006-09-28 10:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by n2mustaches 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is a tricky situation you've got yourself into.... I dont think it neccessary to explain yourself again- you acted on your FEELINGS which is a fantastic thing, people should take a leaflet out of your book. Whatever you do, never apologise to her for it and i beg you, please dont mention it again... When you see her, just act as you would have done before this incident. In fact show her what she is missing out on...
Keep it up, and dont feel rejected by it, your actions were not appreciated by her- but it doesnt make you wrong. Goodluck hun.
2006-09-28 11:14:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
perhaps she was just humouring you while she worked with you?
perhaps she was really sincere at the time but after you left doubted her sexuality? who knows?
lf she hasn't responded to your letter then it is time to move on however painful that may be.
Do not think of this as an act of betrayal, but as a good friendship at the time.
Her private life might have changed, or she may still be battling with her sexuality.
Whatever, you must move on.
2006-09-28 10:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by coolbythepool23# 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she wasn't really serious about her feelings and was just trying to flirt with you - perhaps to see if she could turn you on. Some immature people do this, it's a sort of test of their power. Sooner or later they get burned. My advice to you is to try and put her out of your mind.
2006-09-28 10:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by Augusta B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be friends with someone like this???? This is not a nice person in any respect. Stay well away from people like this.
2006-09-28 10:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋