Why is it people assume(read details)?

Question

Why do people assume that just because I look young that I'm a single mom with no future who is depending on the government?

I'm about to turn 20, I've been married since I was 17(because we wanted to get married, not because I was pregnant), and I have a 6 month old son who has everything he needs and then some.

I don't have to work, but I choose to so that I have something to do and I have great friends at my job, I pay for my own childcare, but I usually don't have to because I trade off childcare with a friend or my husband keeps him.

So, what gives people the right to assume, and talk down to me, just because they think I'm a 16 year old high school drop out?

Answer 1

I couldn't agree more. I've written about this several times and it really frustrates me! Anyway keep on fighting the good fight and breaking the stereotype!

I thought I'd share two great stories. I was eighteen when I was pregnant. I looked about sixteen, my husband was deployed from the time I was about six months pregnant until my son was four months.

A lady was staring at me one day and I said "Hi." (so many people stared at me and I couldn't take it anymore) She asked me where my husband was. (I married at seventeen also, we have almost the same story!) I told her he was deployed in Iraq. She walked off, she didn't say anything...she just walked off. I was so happy!

Another great one was when a lady asked me if my son was mine...he was about two weeks at the time. I told her yes. She said I looked a little young. I told her my age. She asked if I was married. Again I was able to tell her yes, he's in Iraq. She had nothing else to say either.

What that means is most people are ignorant they have too much time on their hands to judge!

Answer 2

I go through this as well only without the benefit of being married I graduated high school two years early and got a college education then decided to have a baby and be a stay at home mother while my partner brought the bacon i am 20 now and people think the worst before they even think to ask but i just keep in mind how many girls(the drop out uneducated women) are out there when this happens they don't have the right to talk down to you but this probably won't change any time soon plus as much as people may disagree with the uneducated mothers/ unemployed mothers choices who are they to talk down to anyone we all have made poor decisions at some point anyway that is my ranting answer good luck

Answer 3

I have a friend who is 31. She has a 13 year old boy (along with 3 other children). She is married and doesn't live off assistance either. He sons' friends are always hitting on her (until they realize she is his mother). I guess the braces don't help but she looks really young. Anyway, you are right. She does get frowned upon. She is a great mother and people twice her age could take some tips from her. People that treat you this way are ignorant and they have nothing better to do either.

Answer 4

I am in the same boat you are only I'm 32! I am very petite and look very young, so I make it a point to never leave the house without my engagement ring and wedding band. Now my husband who looks his age would get the evil eye from strangers when he would be walking along side of me holding my hand because - I look like a minor! I have many stories like these that happened when I was pregnant, but my favorite was when my first born was only a few months old and we would go to a weekly play/gym program. One of the other moms thought I was his nanny because as she said I was way to young to have a child of my own! PS - at the time I was 29!
Sometimes people are just so unhappy with their own lives that they have to find fault in others - don't let it get to you, you know the truth.

Answer 5

Cause some people just like talking ****. My daughter and son-
in-law both have two children. And they are both hard *** working
people. Just because they are a young parents people talk down
too them as well. They would talk to them like their stupid or something. They are both high school graduates. She is 22 and
he is 25. They have their own place bought there own car and pay their own bills. Now she was 17 when she got pregnant and
had two jobs, plus finishing up school which of course she did.
And he was 20 and was a manager working at Mc Dee's at that
age. Now he has another job paying more. But people don't see
this, they just see a young couple with children thinking their on
Government Assistance, which they are dead wrong. They
like to judge a person by their looks. And another thing why some
people just stare because she's Mexican/Merican and he's
African/American. And their first child looks like him and the second child looks like her. But back to you just keep doing what
you been doing. You know what, if you ever decide to go back to
school, then do it for your self or because your doing it for your
child,( you know a role model). But first yourself. It's never to late.
I was 36 when I graduated from Adult School. I did this for my
self. Your marriage would last if your there for one another.

Answer 6

People are a bunch of Pig heads. I used to have people think my baby brother was mine. Yeah like I got knocked up when I was 9.
I went with a guy in school who is very young looking. He's now 33, but still looks like he's 12. lol Just smile give them a curt answer, and walk away.

Answer 7

That's sad. People assume whatever they want. I felt ashamed when I couldn't wear my wedding rings anymore (cuz of prego fat fingers). People would look at me with a 12 month old, 8 months pregnant, like I was some sort of sad case. I'm 24, but I looked pretty young...after taking care of two under two, though...I think I prolly look like an old hag now.

Answer 8

People do stupid things and thats one of them Just ignore them. They may be assuming because they may have no future and have to depend on the government

Answer 9

Because people are ignorant. Don't let their ignorance upset you. You know you are a good mom and you provide well for your child. You are a mom and you are young and that is just fine. You know the old saying, when people assume..... :)

Answer 10

It's not right and I'm sorry you have to go through that. It's a tough world out there people for the most part are rude and worry way to much about what others do instead of worrying about themselves..