Controlled sleeping - how long does it take?

Question

My nearly 9 month old has been waking at night for the past 2 months (usually just the once) and after speaking to a nurse I am convinced now that it's attention seeking - there are no physical issues and after I go into him 3 or 4 times in an hour he settles. So I started the controlled crying thing and for the first 2 nights he went back to sleep on his own after 20mins but last night (night 3) it took 30mins. I had read that this technique should fix it after 3 nights so now I'm concerned it's not going to work. Not very patient of me I know but I desperately need my sleep and am feeling so worn out. Would love to hear others experiences.

Answer 1

Hi!

I'm sorry te hear another one of us is going through the dreaded night waking!The three day thing is a load of rubbish, your child might need a little more time, so don't beat yourself up and keep going.

You know his cries by now. I used to get up immediately (there was always something: stuck on her front, twisted in her grobag, lost her rabbit etc etc) and then at around 9 months I found her sat in bed at 3am, with a big smile on her face, ready to play!...
I decided that it was the last time I would get up immediately and let her cry longer. I told her that.
She went through all the different cries she knew (quite an impressive repertoire inside of 15 minutes ) and then got the message that I wouldn't get up. She stopped after a few nights. She was safe, I was on the other side of the wall and could pounce if she decided to try to make herself throw up, it's not as if I was abandonning her in any way.

Then she started to crawl and we had more waking, then it started again when she started to walk etc etc. Basically, there is always something, but I really cracked in when I realised that she was thirsty, so I left an Avent beaker of Volvic in her bed in the same corner every night (still has it) and I put her in lighter grobags. It turned out that most nights she was just uncomfortable because she was thirsty and too hot. Sometimes, it's just one of those things!

I'm not surprised the 3rd night took longer because your son probably thought "alright, I gave in after such a time before, let's see if I can push it a bit more and get mum to come over". That's how it felt wih mine whenI listened to the diffeent wimpers and cries she tried.

Good luck and be prepared for the next milestone such as crawling and walking. We're entering night terrors... we're in for some fun!!

Answer 2

My first woke for the last time when he got water instead of milk and that was at 16 weeks.

As far as the controlled crying goes - throw away the book. It is great for a guideline but every child is different in absolutely everything that you will be trying to do with them over the next few years. Don't worry. 9 months is still young and there won't be the understanding that a 2 year old will have. Keep going with it even if it takes several nights more than 3. It will work eventually and you'll get your sleep again!
It does get easier and if this is your first child then you'll have more tricks up your sleeve for the next. Babies are trial and error! Everyone looks back and think 'why didn't I do this before??' and anyone who says they had it all sorted first time didn't!!

Answer 3

sorry to tell you this but he may not sleep through for a long time, i have 3 children my 2 older boys where great sleepers slept through at only a few weeks old, now my little girl is just over 2 and she still doesn't sleep i think Ive had about 4 or 5 nights where she has but that's it, i just put her in with me at least that way we both get some sleep and as for the controlled crying thing forget it it only makes you and him worse because at the end of the day all he wants is his mum and is there anything wrong with that, i know your sleep deprived but your only going to have him once so just enjoy every moment you can with him he will soon grow up and fly the nest and it will happen so fast you wont even remember all the bad nights,

Answer 4

It might happen for years - you'll probably get used to it. I still get up at 4am most nights and mine are 2 and 5. Little babies like company and contact - why call it "attention seeking"? Some friends of mine have had great success with controlled sleeping, others not - it depends to some extent on the personality and reactions of the individual kid. Keep it up but don't forget s/he's not a robot with a timer, but a little tender thing who needs your love. And don't expect it to last forever - these routines can easily be broken for a while by illness, emerging childhood fears, dogs barking, etc.

Answer 5

My daughter was about the same age & I was pregnant with twins so was desperate to stop her waking at 4am for a cup of milk as it was tiring me out for the rest of the day. I sought advice & was told to give water, sooth her & leave her to cry herself back to sleep. The first few nights were awful, I felt like giving up but I had faith in my health visitor so stuck with it & by the end of the week she wasn't even waking for water, so it took me a week but every child is different, just stick with it, it will get easier trust me, she's now 2 & the twins are 9 months so am going through it all again with them!

Answer 6

You know... I find this issue so diverse. No one can have a right answer. You have to do what YOU feel is right for yourself and for your baby. My best friend's daughter is 13 months and STILL doesn't sleep through the night. The usually end up bringing her to bed sometime early am. My daughter however has slept through the night since 6 weeks. I gave her a bottle with a little cereal in it to fill her belly so she wasn't hungry. And she now sleeps about 12 hours a night. Now people tell me she sleeps TOO Much. There really is no right answer. What do you feel is right?

Answer 7

my baby was 1 year a week ago
she still wakes sometime, i use a dummy for her for a long while now and when she wakes i give it to her and that is usually enough

i am not in favour of leaving baby to cry it out even if it is controlled but i do not judge you because lack of sleep got to me really. my baby still sleeps in our room but always in her own bed, this way oit is easier for me to reach her, help her and go back to sleep.

try offering your baby some boiled cooled water - maybe he is thirsty, he also could be teething and needs comfort for that reason. also at this time babies can become clingy - if he needs you that is just as important as him being hungry or thirsty.
to help your sleep - abandon all house chores, everything, and go to bed at the same time as he does for one or two nights and you WILL feel better
good luck

Answer 8

every child is different but 30minutes is still pretty good. think positive and remain consistent, put him to bed the same time every night and tell him night night it is bedtime and leave the room. Continue with the controlled crying you are doing well so far do not become despondent. Remember you do not need to stay in the room until he falls asleep!

Answer 9

My son is 2 and he still wakes in the middle of the nite.
It could be that your baby does not like bein on its own. When they wake in the nite the can sence weather your there or not
IF you put him 2 sleep in ur bed then put him in his cot once he is a sleep then he mite not wake.

Answer 10

If you feel that your child is doing this for the attention, ignore them, unless your child is in danger, ignore them. he will get the idea that bedtime is bedtime, (even tell them that, "goodnight it's bedtime, time to go to sleep") make sure that you are not confusing him between the two. when it's daytime play with them show them that it's time to be awake & nighttime, do things that get them ready for bed, try and keep the nighttimt routine, children are creatures of habit.