I see my marriage dwindling to an end. my husband won't open up and be completely honest with me and I'm to the point where I've lost interest in trying,I didn't want to but that's how I feel now. My guy bud and mother think I shouldn't try getting him to open up so much and just step back for a while. They also told me to stop being such an open book and that I'm too informative when it comes to my thought, but the suspense is killing me and I'd rather come to a conclusion than drag things out any further. We've accomplished so much together as a couple but he basically told me and shows me he's not trying anymore. Should I just step back and live in suspense or go for the jab and try to peacefully talk things over with him anyway?
extra info: we just bought a house and have a baby on the way
2006-09-28 09:17:09 · 19 answers · asked by Skypride 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sucks to be you.
2006-09-28 09:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take a deep breath. The guy is trying to maintain. You have a new house and lots of responsibility. Now you are preggers. Not to sound too chauvinistic, but women with raging hormones can be a bit high maintenance. Give the guy some room to breathe. If you are in his face with lots of relationship questions all the time it will drive him nuts after a bit. You may already be there as he has quit trying. Don't live in suspense just step back. Oh and try to relax a little. It might go a long way.
2006-09-28 17:05:22 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him and express your concerns. If this doesn't work-try counceling.
I have know way of knowing, but if you are constantly nagging him, then you are probably pushing him away. Say things once and leave it alone-if you don't get the reply you want, leave it at that.
From your extra info: he could possibly be completely stressed out from the house and the baby. Give him some time. Send him on a golfing trip or something so that he can clear his mind.
Marriages take work and communication should be equal from both party's. If oyu feel he is not giving enough, try backing away from him a little bit. Go out with your friends, make plans with your co-workers, etc. Do things without him. I'm sure he will realize that he misses you when this starts to happen.
2006-09-28 16:22:51 · answer #3 · answered by . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had a problem similar to this. Very similar. We were able to work through it after a long ramble of events.
A couple of questions to think about...
~Why do you think he isn't opening up to you completely?
~Is it possible that he is opening up completely, and you are just
expecting a different response?
~Are you trying to communicate too much? i.e. asking the same
questions over and over, or not getting directly to the point
(meaning instead of saying 'honey is there anything on your
mind' say, I was wondering how you are feeling about
Our problem wasn't that we didn't love each other, or that we didn't want things to work, we were just frustrated communicating with eachother. Words were coming out of my mouth, words were coming out of his, but niether one of us were decoding properly. It's important to be direct...don't talk between the lines.
If you are worried about your relationship not going any further...please just say those words. I'm scared. I'm scared this relationship is about to end. I'm scared it's about to end because I feel that I'm not getting what I need from you, and visa verse. After all, this is the real issue.
Just thoughts from me...
2006-09-28 16:50:39 · answer #4 · answered by Heart of Plat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you stop showing interest, he will be like, "what the heck? She's supposed to want me." Men are fickle that way. The exact same thing happened to me, baby on the way, bought a new house, relationship sucked! And, his family is the same way, your not supposed to talk about personal things. Lame! It wasn't until after the baby came, I went through months of Post partum depression, and then finally got it together. Think positive, and once you get the "I don't cares" things will change for the better.
2006-09-28 16:22:23 · answer #5 · answered by Belle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to learn how to be a wife, and how to have a happy marriage- not something they teach in school.
Get a copy of the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Laura Schlessinger and follow what she says. Believe me, your husband will treat you like a queen, like a princess, like a Goddess if you open your mind to her message.
I think your baby is worth reading 1 book and giving it a try, don't you? Plus, if you're pregnant, you're hormonal, so you really need a solid, easy plan to save your marriage.
I really really really hope you'll get that book- it will save your marriage.
2006-09-28 16:22:37 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have you thought that maybe he's being that way because of the baby...or the new house????? There could be alot of things that may bothering him. Is he home every nite? Does he still tell you he loves you??? Does he kiss you? Your not being very specific in what hes doing? Clarify!
2006-09-28 23:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by Princessa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there before (without the baby part). Try to talk it out with him, for the baby's sake if nothing else. I hope you fair better than I did, good luck to you
2006-09-28 16:21:47 · answer #8 · answered by exodus64_1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
geeze, I'm more or less in the same position as you. (You should check out my recent question) I don't have an answer- just wanted to make you feel like your not alone in this crazy world! Good luck with any answer you do follow through with though.
2006-09-28 16:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by gumby and pokey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I finally left my husband that had been cheating on me the whole time we were married and if he felt the need to hit me he would , I was 3 months preg with our 2nd child...it has worked out well for me and the kids I have found someone that appreciates me for who I am not what he wants me to be...you cant fix or try to fix a problem if you dint know what it is....
Want to know why divorce is so expensive???...cuz it is worth it!!!
2006-09-28 16:24:23 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men and women are different. Guys do not open up to discuss their thoughts like women. Try reading "His needs her needs"
2006-09-28 16:22:03 · answer #11 · answered by 55 and trying 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋