We are a family of 4 and have rented a room out to a lodger. She is no trouble at all but she is not particularly considerate and I am wondering how to tackle this!
1. She tends to leave her washing up in the sink (we have a dishwasher so she could put it there) for a few days at the time - this is really annoying me now as the sink is usually full and therefore can't be easily used. Also she uses our stuff so it means that if we need a pan it is not clean.
2. This may sound petty but she goes through a huge amount of toilet roll, on average we use one per day. When she was away for one week we used one for the 4 of us in a week. I have found lots of bits of paper around the bath and am wondering if she uses it in the bath?! Odd...
I do not wish to get rid of her as she is quiet and fine in many ways but fear that these "small" issues are making me quite stressed and annoyed at her.
What do you recommend?
2006-09-28 09:03:21 · 13 answers · asked by Stephanie C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I had a nightmare lodger - much worse than yours seems to be - but it started the same. Little things that you don't think are worth mentioning, so you don't. But a few months down the line she was never cleaning up after herself, moping around on the sofa all evening and never going out even when my hubby and I made it clear we had plans. In the end we had a huge argument and she packed her things and left.
That's not the way to do it, by the way - I should have spoken frankly to her long before it got to that point and made it clear what I expected. She is a guest in your house after all, and it's really not worth all the stress in the long run. I have less money now, but I have my house, and my privacy, back.
Oh and remember that as a lodger she has less rights under law than a tenant does, so if it comes to it you can just tell her to go with only a 'reasonable' notice period.
2006-09-28 10:00:29 · answer #1 · answered by Fifi L'amour 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Poor you - I really sympathise. It is very difficult to tackle someone who is living in your house as you don't want to create a bad atmosphere. There are two ways to tackle it. The obvious way is a frank discussion. You could always ask her first if there is anything she finds difficult that you do - that way, it doesn't look as though you are just laying into her. Watch out - she may have a whole load of secret niggles!
Otherwise you have to try and drop subtle hints which is far harder - especially if she is thick skinned. With the loo paper issue, you could tell her that you are having drainage problems and that really only 2 or 3 bits can go down the toilet at a time. Or try one of those REALLY annoying loo roll holders that you get that only let you pull one piece at a time off. As for the washing up - difficult, but perhaps you could ask her what time she will have finished clearing up the kitchen so you know when you as a family can sit doen to eat.
2006-09-28 16:13:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult but you have to have a chat with her, write down what is bothering you and what you would like to happen to solve the problems. You need to put the problems to her and your solutions and just check if shes ok with the answers so she does'nt feel like shes being told of. Just think if you was renting from some one and you was annoying them with little things like that you'd want to know so you could watch out for it.
2006-09-28 16:11:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people are very fussy about using things others have used, so they tend to be extra ordinarily hygienic...I have a colleague that can not touch the toilet handle or the seat except with rolls ad loads of it so we ended up buying her gloves
Firstly speak to her about your concerns and you both agree to a kitchen area time table, then remind her of "Clean As You Go" in the kitchen area.
If you found out why she uses up lots of rolls you can now find a way out of it
2006-09-28 16:26:38 · answer #4 · answered by Junior 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has annoying habits I'm sure you annoy her in some way or other. Talk to her and suggest you chat about anything that either of you is doing that is upsetting the other, that way it wont look as though you are criticising her directly.
2006-09-28 16:19:22 · answer #5 · answered by jean m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not petty i have had this problem and i know it can be really stressful especially when you have been at work all day and you have to clean up the kitchen just so you can use it!! when this happened to me i waited until he was cooking and said to him that he needed to clean up after because i needed to use the kitchen too and from there i just said i noticed that he didint always clean up after himself and that because i was always working and am very busy in genral i would apreciate him trying to keep the place as tidy as poss because i didnt have much time for myself let alone cleaning up after someone else too! just keep it light hearted but to the point and hopefully it will work out if not then she obviously has no respect and you would be better to get rid! remember its your house not hers!!
2006-09-28 16:25:02 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah Jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just speak to her in a friendly manor and be as nice as you can about it. Remember she is a LODGER its your place dont feel like you have to put up with it
2006-09-28 16:08:02 · answer #7 · answered by mandy b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lay down some ground rules , make it clear that it is your house and your rules i hope everthing works out for you
good luck
2006-09-28 16:27:02 · answer #8 · answered by sky l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got to have a talk with her, it might not be easy but either that or put up with it
good luck
2006-09-28 16:07:23 · answer #9 · answered by mannit m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set down some rules and get her told
2006-09-28 16:23:41 · answer #10 · answered by jnn_sanderson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋