How should I handle this? I'm 30, he's 27 and we have 4 kids. This 18 year old girl can't stop calling him.

Question

It started out because a co-worker of his who is 18 had a problem with this girl who had a crush on him. He was talking to her on the phone while at our house. The co-worker put her on the phone with my husband and my husband gave her "relationship" advice. Now she has e-mailed him, shown up at his work and continues to call him when she's bored. She says she likes older guys, she is now dating a man older than me who has a kid. He has told her they need to stop talking because it causes problems. She told him, he shouldn't listen to me. She calls several times a week. He will finally answer and talk to her. She makes small talk then wants to know if he is happy with me or if we have any problems. My husband is one of the guys who goes out of his way for a perfect stranger, he will lend them advice, give them money, help them with food, anything!!! I think this is flatering to him and I think she is trying very hard to win him over. He is acting stupid and says she just needs a friend.

Answer 1

Ok, maybe it is a little flattering to him, but... You should put a stop to this. Next time she calls, you talk to her and tell her exactly that. If your husband continues to talk to her.. let him have it. She can find a friend her own age and one that is not married. Be very careful of these people who don't take No for an answer. He should respect your feelings on this matter, if he doesnt you have problems my dear.

Answer 2

I'm sorry but if this bothers you then you really need to put your foot down, it's causing strain in your own relatioship! What is wrong with your guy? Would he be ok if you were the one receiving calls from an 18 yr old male who by the way might just as well enjoy talking to his wife!? If he is smart he won't like it! So what you need to do is get on that phone and give her a piece of ur mind! So what if she needs a friend, if that's all she is then she will understand that calling your house is not inappropriate!!
Also I would get on the co-workers a** and set him straight about that sh**! He should not have been on your phone to talk to this person in the first place! What does he (co-worker) have to say about all this???

Answer 3

Oh no! You know. Deep down you know. A womans gut feeling is never wrong, that is a scientific fact! How did she get his email address? You need to put a stop to this right now! She is a little homewrecker trying to steel him and she will. A man cannot resist. Have you heard the phrase, "my brain is hung like a horse"? Although, by giving her reasons to dislike you, she will only try harder. IF she succeeds in taking him, it will be satisfying to sit back and watch him get dumped on his face when the next victim comes into her sights. I would first try to sit him down, and tell him whole heartedly that it really hurts you, because here he has someone who loves him unconditionally, and someone is trying to hurt him. Make it about him, that's what she is doing with her line of questioning. "oh but what about you, are you happy, are you satisfied" If he starts buying new underwear, you will have an answer. Or you can go a different route and file a harrassment charge against her. That'll shut her up.

Answer 4

Put a stop to it NOW. Do not allow him to take her calls.He's 27 and giving advice to an 18 year old? Can you say misguided leading the unknowing. Let him know that this is complicating your marriage unnecessarily. Point out that anyone who offers the do not listen to your wife advice has no clue what marriage is about and should be avoided.

Answer 5

I'm thinking Christy Brinkley-Peter Cook and a teenage girl here.
Your husband needs a spine. I'd get an attorney to handle this, and claim harassment. But I think yoru husband is enjoying all the attention. It's not so difficult to get rid of someone- you stop taking their calls. You call the police if they show up at your door. You report their behavior to your employer. You block their email address or change yours. You get Caller ID and don't answer he call. You hang up the moment you hear her voice.
You hubby is playing a game here..with her. It doesn't sound very innocent.

Answer 6

Forget what your husband says. If I were you, I would answer the phone next time she calls. Tell her that it bothers you that she is trying to talk to your husband. If she doesn't get the picture, then I would call the police and try to get her in trouble for phone harassment. Tell her you're getting the police before you actually go do it, that may scare her off.

Answer 7

You are right! This behavior needs to stop! It is very unprofessional! Your husband needs to tell this girl that if she does not stop contacting him about personal problems at or outside the office, he will report her to human resources. This is sexual harassment.

If this girl has problems she needs to discuss them with a family member or a therapist. Not your husband.

Answer 8

I would remind him how much he would miss you and the kids if you were to leave and then put it on the line...tell him to block her emails and phone number and be done with it. I think the home-wrecker is just trying to see if she can make him cheat. It's not like she would actually want to be his wife and have the kids every other weekend.

Answer 9

When it interferes with his obligation to you and kids let him know he's not being a 'swell' guy if he neglects his family. And an 18 year old needs to be dealing with her own problems. At some point you have to confront your husband, she isn't your problem he is.

Answer 10

your hubby b/f has all the power to really stop this. The fact that he doesn't should really concern you. I am all for being nice to people but you have made him aware that this is hurting you. It needs to stop before things get any worse. And he is the one who should simply put it to her. I think all he has to say is DO NOT CALL MY HOME, MY CELL, DO NOT EMAIL ME, AND DO NOT COME ANYWHERE NEAR MY HOME OR JOB!That should make it very clear to her that he is not interested!