I've been married for 10 years and I hate my husband. Im scared to leave him for what he might do to me. Help.

Answer 1

Don't be afraid anymore. I went through the same thing. Only for me, in January it will have been four years. But I got to the point with him.....that I couldn't let fear stop me anymore....(cause that is the only thing that kept me around THIS long). Anyway, I told him that I would rather be dead in the ground than to be with him, and live like I was living........it felt like I was dead. Like someone had a pillow over my face, and I couldn't breathe.

Well, two months ago, I filed for divorce, and full legal/physical custudy of the kids. At the same time, I went down and got a temporary domestic violence restraining order. I told them of the time two years ago that he said he would kill me if I left. They granted it.

I had the Sherrif serve him. My court date is Monday, and it will be made permanent for 3 years. I feel empowered. That is not to say that a peice of paper will stop anyone who wants to come after you, but I tell you what, I won't make it easy. I am mindful of where I am, and who is around me. I keep two cell phones with me, and it feels good to know that if he is ANYWHERE near me, I call the police, and he goes to jail.

That is priceless. I feel alive again, and like I can breathe. Don't let him keep you that way. If it isn't healthy for you.....let it go.

Answer 2

I am not telling you to leave your husband, but I am a Christian that left her husband because of physical abuse. He was scary, and mean. I waited till he was at work, and then left. You can always call the police, believe me, they will not tolerate any kind of anything from an abusive husband. The police will also place you in a safe-haven, and the place they put you in will help you and your children (if you have them) get on your feet. That is a promise.

I've never regretted leaving him, in fact, new doors were opened to me and I now have a wonderful husband. That was in the early 80's; my daughters are now grown, and lead healthy, happy lives (I know they would have lead disfunctional lives had we remained in that life style).

The bible says:
Ephesians 5:25, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.


My first marriage was so violent, I didn't care about if it was a sin (at that time, that is). I am pretty sure it was the Lord that helped me get out of that situation. I look back and know He is the one who helped me.

I wouldn't want to mislead you, but just pray about it; I will pray for you, too. God bless you and I know what you are going thru.

I hope things work out for you, but if you think he is going to change, it would have to be an act from God to change him, otherwise, he isn't going to change. He will always be violent, and it just gets worse. Each time he attacks you, will be worse than the last time.

I prayed for you, dear.

Answer 3

Think about which is worse......

Living a life of misery with someone who you don't love and who obviously doesn't love you.
Or has a very strange way of showing it.

OR

Leaving in the hope of starting a new life with no fear. He can't hurt you if you don't let him.

Make sure you have told someone what you are going to do and what your fears are in case he goes through with what you think he will do.

Sometimes we might think the worst and find it wont happen.
It seems to me he has you emotionally frightened and is a controller.
The only way you will be rid of him is to go and see what happens. Just make sure you have back up if needed.

The most important person at this moment is YOU, Karen, and don't you forget that. You have the right to live a life without fear and with happiness but only YOU can make that happen.
Be strong, Karen, you are a woman and we are survivors don't ever forget that.

Answer 4

You're in the same kind of relationship that thousands of women have suffered since the beginning of time. If you have children, it's worse, but if you're alone, you can simply leave. I know it's hard to imagine when you've got a comfortable home, but I have seen times when anything, even sleeping in my car would have been better than lying down beside the man who constantly hurt me.

I had children, things were worse. But where there's a will, there is a way. You can get help by calling your nearest social services office. They will refer you to the options available.

Good luck! I will be praying for you.

Answer 5

You are a human being in the USA. This is'nt Saudi Arabia. Your not his property, even if you signed an agreement to stay with him. If he's the violent type, try to move out in secret, by taking some of your belongings out gradually one day at time to a place you'll know you'll be safe. Move in their completely, immediately file a restraining order, and notify some marital violence agencies about him. The police really won't do anything that much, because he has'nt commited a crime to you yet, but keep a cell phone with you at all times with 911 on your speed dial.

Answer 6

Hi. I'm a psychiatric social worker and I'm home today with a sore foot. I think things happen for a reason so it's no accident I came across your post. If you are serious I would like to help you. Right now you need to stay focused on things you need to do for your survival. I don't know where you live or what resources are available to you but I am willing to listen. You can email me at [e-mail] so I can get more info to best help you. What I would say for now is don't give up and try to stay strong. There are people out there who care!

Answer 7

Well you have some choices to make. I am sure there is a abuse/crisis number you can call. Confide in a friend, and please, please, don't be alone with him if he scares you. Or try counseling, but if you know it's to late, and you need to go, now, call the cops, and go to a public place or neighbors or someone you trust. I recommend you try praying for help on what choice is best for you.
But do something, fear and hate should never be a part of any marriage.

Answer 8

SOMEONE suggested marriage counseling. but you said you were scared. go and get an order of protection. search on line for a domestic violent shelter call or email which ever is safer tell them you need to get out of state for fear of your husband. really. i have been there and done that. dont stay honey. now i am happy but i have a permanent broken pinky because of being ignorant in the past.

Answer 9

If you trully want out, then you should do what it takes. You will do more damage to yourself sticking around and being miserable. there is no way to predict what may happen, but you can take measures to help yourself. you can get a protection order, move somewhere he cant find you, and with lots of people around. tell everyone you know about your plans and concerns, and have a check in plan with friends and family. maybe even stay with someone out of town for a bit, seeing what his reaction is. remember there is no sure things in life but death, so you have to choose what you feel is the best choices.

Answer 10

There not doubt is an abuse hot-line in the city you live. Find out what it is and call them. Even though you may not feel your are abused now what you say here tells me you are.

No one hates there spouse and fears leaving because of what they will do without abuse being involved somewhere.

You need local help. What you hear on here is not likely to be much help.