marriage after a month of dating? I am 18 and my bf is 22 years old and yesterday he wanted to now how many kids i want and when i want to get married and what i want out of life and stuff ended up asking me if i would marry him if he asked? I have a feeling he will ask for real and i will say yes?
2006-09-28
08:14:18
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20 answers
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asked by
Melanie o
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Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have a feeling he will ask sooner rather than later. Today he wanted to know my taste in jewlery.
2006-09-28
08:15:21 ·
update #1
I really feel like i love him and want to be with him all the time
2006-09-28
08:17:52 ·
update #2
we are already talking about sex too
2006-09-28
08:19:49 ·
update #3
This is the man you're about to share the rest of your life with, and what can you possibly know about him in a month?!? Not a whole lot. Also, when people date, they put their best foot forward, you don't see their defects/idiosyncrasies that only unfold with time. Marriage is NOT a game, nor should it be treated like one. It is a sacred bond. Kids aren't the only issues that one should be talking about getting married--but also your careers, living arrangements, finances, raising the kids, supporting the kids and religion/values. Talk to your parents so that they could give you enlightenment and hopefully give you a real picture of what marriage is all about--it goes beyond romantic feelings, sex and a piece of jewelry. It's a huge responsibility.
2006-09-28 09:46:17
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answer #1
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answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4
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Take it slow.You have a long time to make those decisions.
There is no hurry. If you read the numbers the deck is already stacked against it working. Marriage is a long term commitment if you do it right. There is NO way you can possibly know enough about a person to decide about marriage after one month. Any debate to the contrary is naive. If he asks, table the discussion for a year. If that does not do it for him or he can't wait, he does not have the patience for marriage.
Ask yourself this question, How long do I expect to stay married?
If your answer is for life try, to comprehend how you will think when you are 36, twice your age now. Now try to imagine 54. You really cannot because you do not really have a life experience which does not include parents. This is the best reason for waiting. Give yourself some time for maturity to kick in.
2006-09-28 15:53:21
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answer #2
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answered by Flagger 6
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You're crazy ! You don't even know yet what this guy's really really like. Once your married, you're stuck for life. You reeeeeally need to to be 100% positive and know him from every angle before even thinking about it. DO NOT get caught up in the moment here. Make a wise decision on this one, not a quick one you may regret. Either that or option 2, go ahead say yes and just have an exceptionally looooong engagement until you really really know him inside and out. Congrats in advance and good luck.
2006-09-28 15:25:24
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answer #3
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answered by Lexington 3
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If that is what you really want, fine, and good luck.
But... if you have a good relationship, why screw it up by getting married? Look at the facts: most American marriages fail within a short time. Marriage is little more than an antiquated way of legally sanctioning a religious rite. If you believe that you must obtain permission or a license from god before you are intimate, then maybe marriage is what you want. Personally, I own my body and don't require anyone's permission to do what I judge to be correct. :-)
2006-09-28 15:24:44
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answer #4
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answered by kurtrisser 4
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How wonderful that you two are talking about the real issues of life before marriage.
No you are definitely not too young. My husband and I married at 21 and 17, and we are still married after 50 years. We reared 5 children and lost one son in a car wreck when he was almost 21.
2006-09-28 17:50:48
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answer #5
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answered by delmaanna67 5
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I think the fact you're asking this questions means you know you are too young. If he asks just tell him you'd like to spend more time getting to know him and if he still feels this way after 12 months, ask again and you might be more ready to agree. Not only are you both too young but he sounds impulsive and impulsivity is not something you want when making such a big decision. Divorce is neither easy nor fun, but if you rush into this, it's likely to be in your future.
2006-09-28 15:17:52
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answer #6
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answered by auskan2002 4
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Have you accomplished all you want to accomplish as a single person? Are you going to college? Do you want to get a degree? Have you gone places and done the things you want to do before you settle down? When you get married, you have another person that will have to be considered in all of these things and the two of you have not been together for very long...Think it through before you say yes...
2006-09-28 15:18:08
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answer #7
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answered by Suthern R 5
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well your 18. think back when you were 17 and 16 you couldn't make up your mind plus if your asking yourself in doubt then its not right . maybe he anted to know what you wanted in the future maybe he really will ask but he just needed to know if your not ready say so. he wont mind he needs to know that you concider him a important person inhis life to concider marriage , hes 22. believe me i know the deal youll know mr right the right feeling at the right time in yor life maybe not right now someday.finish school and grow up a lil more for a another 3-4 years believe me youll know by then until then youll go through enough to know your feelings about marriage plus you don't have to say yes
2006-09-28 15:26:46
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answer #8
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answered by Sabrina Q 1
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My advice...you are too young ..I convinced my daughter into waiting, spend your time finding out who you really are, believe me you will not be the same person in 10 yrs you are now and niether will he. Get a career started, become self sufficient so when you dont ever have to stay in bad relationship because you cant support yourself. Travel, see the world, experience life. Youve got plenty of life ahead of you, dont jump in to a lifetime commitment befor youve even lived.
2006-09-28 15:20:37
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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Hold off on this one !! This is going way to fast. Try setting some goals for yourself first. Try telling him in a casual conversation that you want a good career before you get married. Maybe this will hold him off, and you'll have something to aim for.
2006-09-28 15:17:46
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answer #10
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answered by andi b 4
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