I am a widow,aged 41, and looks like 33 only.3 years ago,my husband dead of cancer. I sweard to him,I will never marry ,give birth and wear wedding dress again.....but will find partner after griefing period...
Coz at that time, my heart is like 55 and I have 2 children and life is so tough,that I really think like that..Now my children are 15 1/2(boy) and 11(girl), I met a very wonderful man a few months ago ,he was diverced ,with a 7 years old boy.We wish to have another child,that runs our blood.......How about my swear?
2006-09-28 08:03:34 · 19 answers · asked by russclara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You were under extreme duress when you made your 'promise.' While one should always keep one's word, one should also realize the circumstances under which it is given. I used to tell my dad I'd never speak to him again - but I always did...
2006-09-28 08:33:11 · answer #1 · answered by ericscribener 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with lilic b.
I come from a divorced and broken family the children should be asked upon how they feel... My mother was single for almost 6 years before she met who is now my step father,(they met when i was 11) for me it was hard at first to think that a man whom i did not know was going to be living in my house... it was too weird and hurtful. Introduce them and try to do (family like things) get them used to having another man around DONT MOVE HIM IN TOO FAST
it is just plain wrong to force the children to commute that fast.
I know because that is what bothered me the most about 2 months after meeting my mother boyfriend he moved in, it was way too much to handle for a child especially when they miss their father even if they dont mention it that often as before it is hard to think that another man is sleeping in their fathers same bad and eating off the same plates. Kids see the little things adults dont, so before you make any choices make sure your kids are involved the whole time so nothing will be a surprise. those surprises are not cool... Be patient and know that your husband's life has come to end but yours has not. many great things will come from your choice to remarry and possibly have another child but also keep in mind that there is a high risk for having kids after mid 40's... Good Luck and I pray you will do the right thing.
2006-09-28 08:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Social 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your swear made your husband feel better at the time. However, at your age and all you need to fall in love again and be happy. And if this man wants to love you, have a baby and all, I say go for it. You won't burn in hell or anything like that. Your husband would want you to be happy.
2006-09-28 08:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your getting over your grief after 3 years and your so Lucky that you found someone that is so wonderful. Marry him and have another child for him and you will remember your lost love, but you seem to love this man , it's time to get on with your life,
Best of Luck
2006-09-28 08:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it very slow as it is still new to you. Be careful about the pit falls of being lonely and wanting someone to make your life complete. Once you have lost a spouse you love very much it is not the same to marry someone. Make sure he is good for you and the kids. I guess what I am wanting to say is make sure he isn't wanting something so fast and knowing you are lonely is rushing it. Take your time and if it is meant to be it will still be there. A few months is not enough to know someone for marriage nowdays. As far as your swear it isn't something to concern yourself about. You are young and he would not have held you to that.
2006-09-28 08:25:10 · answer #5 · answered by dollynjanie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen this is what you should do....... Go on with your life and have fun or you will end up like your late husband dead and lonely. What you said to your husband you said from emotions and not from you heart, Live life I'm sure he understands.
2006-09-28 08:11:38 · answer #6 · answered by Beauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi the frist thing is if you really want to marry this person and you like him go on becaues life isnt easy when you are alone , you said that you are 41 and your kids are going older and sooner or later will have there life alone without you and live you alone so ,you have some one now you care about and he care about you , and when your kids goes away there will be no one to live with so marry this persone and when your husband die you loved him and said that becues he was the only persone that you love in that time and when you said that you have your loyal to him , any way go on and live your life with him,good luck but take care of your childreen too .
2006-09-28 08:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by lover boy 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure that you both loved each other, and each others happiness was # one. So what would he tell you to do. You loved him, but it is healthy to move on eventually. Just remember how it was, im sure he would want you to LIVE your life and be happy. Even if your not ready now, if the man your seeing can wait for you then that should be a factor in your decision. Seems to me though you have answered your own question.
2006-09-28 08:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by ravensremorse00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U should go for it I doubt ur husband would want u to stay a widow he would want u to be happy and marry someone that loves u he wants u too not grieve for ever but to appreciate each and every day like there's no tommorow trust me on this he wants u too all u have to do is what makes u happy and it'll make him happy,
2006-09-28 08:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by eric.gothicgod666 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
swearing to your husband is one thing ... now you have to think of your children before yourself. How do your children feel about this guy? I'm sorry to hear that your husband died of cancer; yes, life is tough ... but do you only want to marry this other guy because you don't want to be alone? there are several questions that need to be answered first.
2006-09-28 08:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by Daisie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋