We have kids. Going it alone means punishing the kids with poverty as we are just above it now. I have no family support either. I don't love him anymore, the thought of kissing let alone sex makes me nearly sick. I feel like a single parent in a marriage.
2006-09-28 07:40:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
been there. done that. best advice i have is seek counseling. make sure there is nothing to salvage. if not, go your seperate ways. It is very unhealtyh to raise your kids in a "false" marriage. they do see it. it may be hard at first but with counseling everyone can get thru it.
2006-09-28 07:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by TAM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only tell you by what i personally experienced. I lived with a cheater for 20 years. He repulsed me. But I did it for my kids. What a wasted life. Poverty? Looking back I would've rather fed my kids peanut butter everyday and had a loving home, than to have been miserable. Your kids sense it. Don't be fooled. they do. Now that my kids are grown my oldest daughter says she has a warped sense of what a truely loving relationship is supposed to be like. Don't fall into the same trap i did and wake up at 45 wondering what to do next. But I will say this. If you stay, you just have to comeplety wipe it from your mind. Get seperate bedrooms or something and let him continue on with his cheating ways
2006-09-28 14:46:23 · answer #2 · answered by julibooboo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can find financial support somewhere else. As it is you feel like a single parent so whats the point ? Dont you think its worse for the kids to grow up in a home where their father cheats and their mother is sickened by the thought of sleeping with her husband ? You'll be much happier if you leave.
2006-09-28 14:44:44 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same situation as you are. But I still love my husband and dearly cares for my children. It's hard to cope when you don't spend a day not trusting him anymore.
What I do is I get myself busy with raising my kids and involving myself in productive/worthwhile activities, like voluntary activities in my church. If you have a hobby that you want to pursue, it might help you to be involved in that too now. Also, if you can find a part-time job, that might help too. Surround yourself with the things that make you happy and with people who loves you.
2006-09-28 14:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to go your own way. You will get child support, so that will help financially. I know it will be hard, but is it WORTH the emotional and mental angst you are putting your self through right now.....just to have that 'stuff'???
Wouldn't peace and contentment be better, and coming home to a place that is yours. That you don't have to see this person day in and day out, and relive the experience, and have to physically interact with him?
Depends on what you value more. Material things, or peace of mind.
2006-09-28 14:45:14 · answer #5 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know much, but I do know raising kids in a household where the parents only stayed together is for them is not the way to go. this is 2006, not 1950, and there's help out there for single mothers. It wouldn't be easy, but don't settle. having kids dosen't mean you can't have a life.
2006-09-28 14:54:44 · answer #6 · answered by scbettyboop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy in your marriage you are doing a DISSERVICE to your children by making them subject to an unhappy environment. You will learn that money doesn't make a family happy. It's the love and the encouragement and the strength of a family that will make your children happy. You don't have that, you are hurting your children more by staying in an unhappy marriage.
2006-09-28 14:47:35 · answer #7 · answered by Please use other door 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, does he know how you feel?
There are options, but the two of you will have to work it out about what is best . It is hard to go your separate ways when neither of you can afford to be separated. You can go your separate ways while still living together but agree not to let it interfere with the kids. You have a lot of talking and negotiating to do.
Good luck.
2006-09-28 14:54:34 · answer #8 · answered by madamjenn40 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your going to stay married to him you going to have to learn how to forgive him. If he makes you that sick and there is no getting past it, then you need to get away from it. The kids don't have to go without because you aren't together. There are things called child support and alimony. But if you are miserable than they will be too. Good luck!
2006-09-28 14:52:41 · answer #9 · answered by Paulda37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible for you to get a student loan and get a degree in something? If you can, I would stay long enough to get the degree and a good job to support you and your children, and then leave. Your other alternative would be welfare. Personally, I'd prefer either to the situation that you're in.
2006-09-28 15:14:37 · answer #10 · answered by andi b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋