my husband meet this girl one nite we had a fight, they exchange phone #'s . he later found out she was 16, but they remain friends, of coursr by the time i found out she is now 18, he swear they never had sex, just someone to talk to. I also found out he bought her a b-day card for her b-day which is the day after mine. I'm so anger.Please keep in mind he was 26 at the time they met?
should i leave him?
2006-09-28 07:34:27 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A man in a relationship SHOULD NOT be buying other girls anything cards, birthday gifts, nothing. I wouldn't leave him it was 2 years ago, just investigate and make sure there is nothing else going on and if there is then leave him...
2006-09-28 07:37:18 · answer #1 · answered by Clints_wench 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has been having an emotional affair. They may not have had physical contact, but they are playing with fire, and they have opened up a window of possibility.
The fact that he has been keeping this from you for two years, and STILL interacting with her. You definetely have a reason to be angry, and I know for SURE I would be.
As far as leaving him, well I think it would depend on what other factors are at play. How is your relationship with him? Other than this, are you content? Is he considerate? Is he responsible? Is he OTHERWISE honest? Is he respectful? Does he love you, and SHOW it?
A few of the questions I asked.....based upon what you said, I think I know the answer to, but you know it best.
I think you need time. Time apart. To figure out what you want to do. And to give him time to figure out what he wants to do. NOT to SEE OTHER PEOPLE. To see if life is better without the other person. Then you can come together, and in honesty, communicate whatever the next step should be according to your personal findings while you guys were apart.
Take care of yourself.
2006-09-28 14:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, if you believe when he tells you they've never had sex, you've got blinders on. what man would "just be friends" with a 16 year old girl. and for 2 years, with birthday cards? no, I don't buy that, and I don't even know the guy. so here's some advice I've given to friends in the past. men in serious relationships will do whatever they can get by with. If you accept it and keep going, the blame can go partly to you. but now that you know about it, you have to have enough self-respect to say, NO!! I don't have to turn my head and allow you to do this. my vote is kick him to the curb, especially if there's no kids or marriage involved.
2006-09-28 14:43:01 · answer #3 · answered by scbettyboop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, Everyone needs someone to talk to after they have fights with their love ones, I do however feel he should have told you about it. I would be upset too. The birthday card thing seems harmless he wanted to give his friend a birthday card. Have you told him in a calm tone how you felt, Guy are not good when it comes to our feelings. They don't understand why we are so sensitive. After you are done talking with him about it
ask him if you can meet his friend.
2006-09-28 14:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by stacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out what type of relationship they ACTUALLY have before running out on him. You obviously don't trust him and if that is the case you need to forgive him before you can ever trust him again. But he deserves to know that you are this upset about it and considering leaving him for it. If it's worth it to him, then he will be completely honest with you and you can make a decision from there. If it's not worth it to him, then you know what you need to do.
2006-09-28 14:40:57 · answer #5 · answered by Please use other door 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
meeting her after a fight, between you two , would be worrisome to any one, and she will always be a soar spot for you
are you snooping to find most of this out, then maybe you don't trust him for the past two years, and I can understand the doubts
perhaps tell him this is a soar spot and under the circumstances you feel maintaining a relationship with her is damaging to your marriage , and his priority should be the marriage
Good luck!
2006-09-28 14:47:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...by all means forgive him....right after he pulls his head out of his !@#...here is the deal - you are married. He shouldn't be out "befriending 16 yr old girls, 18 yr old girls, or 26 year old girls. you had a fight with him...so what...that does not give him the right to take up with other women. Tell him the friendship is off...or you are.
2006-09-28 14:41:17 · answer #7 · answered by jada 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A LOT of things can come into play in a situation like this. Do you feel like he doesn’t care about you any more?? If so, then yes…leave him. A good way to test him, though, would be to tell him to cut her out of his life FOREVER. Tell him you need to rebuild your trust in him….ask for passwords to his email, tell him you want to know who he talks to whenever he uses the phone, and if he is going out you want to go with. It doesn’t have to be that way forever, just until you know you can trust him again. If you can’t trust him, and don’t take the steps to regain that trust, then you might as well leave….but give him a chance to prove himself.
2006-09-28 14:39:30 · answer #8 · answered by Figuring things out... 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ouch! i don't think thats something to leave him for especially if you have friends of the opposite sex....but make sure to let him know that she isn't the only one you can talk to if you have a problem you know, i exsist too! and prove it to him by listening to whatever bothers him about anything and try your best to give him advice about it as a friend not a wife......women need to build a friendship with their husbands, it helps become much closer...my husband is my best friend....i think you should give it a try....good luck!!
2006-09-28 14:40:11 · answer #9 · answered by ONTHERISE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes...there is a reason why he kept being friends until she was 18, now it's legal!
2006-09-28 14:40:00 · answer #10 · answered by what 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋