I met an amazing Jewish girl at university, who I dated for a few months. We split, but carried on being friends. Since then, we've become far closer. We've both changed a lot since we dated and are both far more compatible than our immature versions 3 years ago, were; both mentally and sexually. She's my best friend, and vice-versa. Now we're back together and have even been talking about marriage (she usually brings it up, but I'm for it too).
Everything was going great, until she's now decided that a long term future just isn't viable as I don't believe in God. She says it's fine for us to be best friends, but when it comes to a romantic future together it wouldn't work because she wants her children to believe in a higher power, which I don't.
Has anyone else been in a situation like this and had a happy family with non-confused children? Or is it impractical? I do see her point!
2006-09-28 07:27:18 · 16 answers · asked by mysteerio69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yep, my mom is c of e and my dad is a Catholic and they have been married for 38 yrs
2006-09-28 07:30:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being Jewish isn't just about religion. Even if she had no faith, she has a race and a culture, which is usually carried down through the women. My cousin married a Jewish girl who wasn't religious, but when they divorced years later there was a lot of unpleasantness and she and her daughter were very badly hurt by it all. She returned to her religion for comfort, but her daughter was hurt by that too. See if you can at least give her some support culturally and join in some aspects of her culture, otherwise you are asking a lot of her and I'm sure you agree you just cannot switch belief on or off.
2006-09-28 14:36:37 · answer #2 · answered by Beebee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'v never been in that sort of situation and I'm not going to sit here and tell you the way you should live your life, but if you two truely love each other.. nothing else should matter. Love conquers all. People get married outside of their own religion alllllll the time, so it's definatley done, the two of you just need to work things out, like whether you'll celebrate her holidays, or yours, what the "children" will practice as a religion, and other such things. If the two of you are willing to work it out, it WILL work out... don't let her make you believe it can't be done because it can.
Put a little faith in it! haha =)
2006-09-28 14:32:19 · answer #3 · answered by brittypxo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am deeply Christian and my DH is a "free thinker" (whatever that may be). We've been married for 24 yrs, and though we are childless it's not because of our different philosophies, it just worked out that way. The important thing is mutual respect and love. I don't hassle him about church or God, though I do talk to him about my thoughts and adventures in the faith, it's always in a non-pushing way, just as you might talk about the events at work or whatever. I in turn listen to his viewpoint without judging him. He lets me attend church functions with no ridicule, hassle or belittling of my ideas.
I like that you say you and the girl are best friends...that is the best basis for a long-term relationship. Sexual attraction can fade over time but if you are really friends you'll always discover something new to love about your spouse.
You don't say you deny your children the freedom to decide what they believe on their own, when they're old enough to. And that's good. Let them be who they are.
2006-09-28 14:34:15 · answer #4 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bible says we must be equally yoked. That means out religious and spiritual condition needs to be about the same, otherwise problems will occur. It would not be impossible for your relationship to work, but very difficult, I think. Other the other hand, there are many Christians, such as myself, who has married another Christian, but our level of spirituality seems to be different. I have much faith in God, and sometimes he seems to doubt that God will take care of everything. I try to put Christ at the center of our marriage and it seems sometimes he ignores the old-fashioned biblical principals of marriage. You never know what you're getting into. I love my husband and I am glad I married him, but your girl friend probably worries about similar issues. She probably believes if you do not come around to know God, you will go to hell when you die. She probably couldn't stand the thought of the man she spends her whole life with spending eternity without God.
2006-09-28 14:34:24 · answer #5 · answered by Chrissy C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this will cause issues in a relationship. I would not be able to date some who didn't believe in God. But to marry someone with different religion aspects, no way. I think this will bring arguements, and not only that, your children will be very much confused between the two of you. Be friends would be my advice. And if she doesn't feel comfortable, then don't force her.
2006-09-28 14:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by Susa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I,m an athiest and my wife is a catholic, we have 2 children aged 3 and 5 . My wife wants to bring them up as catholics which I do not object to. I tell them what I think when they talk about God. Just answer truthfully and let the children make up their own minds as to what their beliefs will be. You cannot impose your beliefs on your children , they will develop their own over time. My daughter asks me around 20 questions a day about various topics.
2006-09-28 16:13:25 · answer #7 · answered by macsuperfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there would be a bigger problem if you were religious yourself! If you are not prepared to meet halfway and perhaps consider conversion to her religion, then you probably will not have a future with this girl, because her religion and heritage is really important to her. You need to consider the importance of it to her a bit more. If she practices her faith and you remain defiant, i would say ...its time to let go of any romantic thoughts and just be freinds - sorry.
2006-09-28 14:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is a practising jew, then one of you would have to compromise and since she comes from a position of belief which she cannot deny, it will have to be you.
If you are love her enough to get married in a synagogue, have your children circumsized (ouch) and bar-mitzvah, Happy Hannukah, Yom Kippur - and worst of all, have a jewish mother-in-law then go for it. If not, it won't work.
My friend married a luke warm jew - they are very very happy together but she is not really a keenly practising one. And her family hate him.
2006-09-28 15:01:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I knew a Jewish physician who married a Greek Orthodox girl and they have had a long happy marriage.
2006-09-28 14:30:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, sure.
I know many couples around the world like India, Thailand, Bangladesh, UK, Ireland, Japan, South Korea.
for myself, I belive in creator and my wife in not.
we r together since 24 years. we hav 4 kids alive.
2006-09-28 14:38:43 · answer #11 · answered by asru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋