my husband is threating to devorice me?

Question

He is saying that he no longer wants to be married he just wants to be a father to his son, what should i do suck it up and take it as a loss or fight for my marriage we have been together since i was 13 and he was 15 i am now 19 and he i now 21

Answer 1

Don't fight for someone who doesn't want to be with you. Go after him for alimony and child support.

Answer 2

Putting up a resistance to what the man is wanting to do is not usually the right idea and normally causes rebellion on his part. Perhaps some time is needed to heal up something that is making it seem as though the relationship is on a downward sprial to an end. Granted here you are 19, and have another 60, 70, 80 years of life who knows. Nothing and i mean nothing is worse than trying to be in a situation (no matter a relationship or playing a game of ball) with another person that doesn't full heartedly want to be there. Now also do not just bend to an empty threat of divorce because he knows you will fold to him if he uses that threat as the so called trump card. Call him out if you must and say well i'm certainly not stopping you from going if you truely feel thats whats best for you, me and your son.

Answer 3

Well, Marrage Has It's Up's And Downs. There Is Always That Breaking Point When You Can't Stand Each Other For Another Moment And Want To Split Up. And When You Do, You Realize It Was A Mistake.....Try To Have A Through Conversation About The Situation And Find A Resolution. Even If It Means Splitting Up For A Few Days....

Answer 4

No. Sweetheart, you can't keep a man who doesn't want to stay. Atleast he is honest enough to tell you, instead of lying and letting you think that you have a life and future with him, while he sneaks around and does what ever he REALLY would rather be doing.

You were both very young in the first place. You are growing up. You and him both. The person you are right now at 19, and the person he is now, at 21........you will TOTALLY different by the time you hit your late twenties, and THIRTY?!?! Take it from me, it is a total EVOLUTIONARY process.

Seems like, he has just evolved into an adult, and now the childhood love is left behind......in his childhood/adolescence.

Respect him for wanting to be a father to his son. Since you have history behind you (in your relationship with him). You probably will have a TRUE friend in him for life. It may hurt, but it will heal. I promise. If nothing else, respect his honesty. Don't make it harder on yourself fighting to keep someone who has already let go. It's not a marriage unless you BOTH are in it. And sounds like he wants out.

You are still very young. Focus on yourself. Improving yourself, and invest in your career and future. You will feel better about yourself, and you will be so much more attractive in general. There is nothing more beautiful than a content, successful, woman who is handling her business, and is pleased with herself.

Give yourself time to heal. Focus on you for a while. Giving yourself the extra TLC will make you feel better. I promise.

Answer 5

I think you guys need to talk about it and see if there is any hope left at all. A weekend together could rekindle the fire or even a separation for a period of time might help. However, if he's definitely stuck on ending the marriage, even without considering any professional help, then I don't think there is much else you can do. It's not an easy situation and I know it hurts, but you are still very young and should find many hopeful, happy opportunities for a great future.

Answer 6

I'm sorry. Usually I'm far more benevolent than this. You guys are so young and if this isn't working for him now, I don't see it working for him 40 years from now. It sounds like you just started too soon and he wasn't ready.

I'd bid him a not-so-fond farewell, let him file for the divorce because it'll cost him more money, get Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court to order custody and child support (let HIM worry about visitation) because THAT part YOU can do for free and have the Department of Child Support Enforcement take the $$ directly out of his paycheck once you've got the order if he doesn't pay.

You're 19. You can easily start over with someone who wants you for YOU and who will love your son. Don't be in a huge rush though. And whatever you do... stay on birth control and don't try to get into another relationship by becoming pregnant. Focus on yourself and your son.

Also... get some counseling so you are better prepared to make better choices for yourself and your child as you both grow up :) (Not trying to be insulting... but you took a lot on very early!)

Consider returning to school... further your education so you can provide better for yourself and your son. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

wow. You both are still young to be married. The problem is neither of you have lived enough to know what u want. I'm sorry to say that allot of young marriages don't last for that reason. Try to talk it out. You have a child together. This should come in to the scheme of things. there will be child support to pay. And you can take care of the child. That's allot of responsibility. full time.

Answer 8

You are so young and there is so much more out there. Move on and be thankful he wants to be there for your son. Let him have the divorce. You will find someone else and it will be so much better. I know that is hard to believe, but it was so true for me. I was with mine from 13 to 22. I could never have been this happy with him and I thought he was everything. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Try to keep you family together with counseling from a church or family member, maybe even a prof. but try for you son. If this does not work, make sure you have/get an eduaction because you will be supporting that boy and you dont not need to make yourself dependent on no man! Good luck to you.

Answer 10

I don't want to sound condescending, but there is little else to be expected of a relationship that has developed that far at that young of an age.

Fight for it, if you feel it is worth fighting for. Accept it and move on if he his decision is final.

Education is the key—go back to school. And support your child no matter what!

Answer 11

If there is any chance to save the marriage you may need to go to counseling together. If he is not willing to participate then as much as it may hurt, you may have to move on. You are young so it's best not to get stuck in a bad relationship anyway when you still have plenty of good years ahead of you! Good Luck.