I am 21 he is 23 I don't want to ge married tomorrow or even a year from now. But the problem is he says that he doesn't want to get married until he is like 35!!! No way am I waiting that long to start my family! How do I let him know that I am on a completely different page (I want to marry at 25-26) and ensure that he won't wait that long to take the plunge? We have a great relationship and have talked about having a life together but I don't want to get a letter from AARP before my kids are out of high school!!! How would you go about dealing with this?
2006-09-28 06:53:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No matter how much you hint to him...If he isn't ready he just isn't ready! I am now 28 and have been wanting to marry this guy for about 4yrs. Now, he finally comes around. If you are not on the same page, you have to move to other chapters of your life. Its ok for people to be in different stages of life. But, it does not sound like he is there. Is he worth waiting for? Also, who knows. He may change his mind. The point is, marriage isn't something that should be rushed. Continue to grow as a person. You will be surprised at how your view on life changes as you grow. Who knows, you may even change your mind! Try telling him what you put in your question. If you two have a great relationship, he should understand. Good luck!
2006-09-28 07:11:19 · answer #1 · answered by prettychestnuteyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooh, tough one. Firstly you would need to have a good open hearted talk with him. Most guys in their mid-twenties are commitment fobic. It is natural for him to feel that he would not want to get married for years and years from now, yet you can be assured that he has no way of knowing how he will be feeling about it in a few years time - or even in the near future for that matter. You have to relax and not harp on these issues too much though - otherwise your boyfriend will soon get r e a l l y claustrophobic, and leave! Remember, you said that you aren't in such a hurry yourself, so don't make too much of this now. BUT, if you EVER get the feeling that he doesn't really love and respect you, you need to end it quick. He's then obviously just hanging on to you until someone "better" comes along - and although he is deluding himself he's obviously also then wasting your time.
2006-09-28 07:06:30 · answer #2 · answered by Deelman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have'nt given it adequate time. endurance. yet you may consistently stare upon different couples whilst your mutually and whilst he ask what are you observing. Say only admiring the married couple, say sooner or later possibly it will be me and you. And only smile and look away. you additionally can try this via observing a married couple on television. And say possibly which would be me and you sooner or later and then act like your quite into the television. and not waiting on a reaction. and then have endurance he will come around whilst he's waiting.
2016-10-18 03:34:06 · answer #3 · answered by haan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If y'all have a good relationship, y'all should be able to talk about this openly and discuss when the time is right. Also, you could ask him why he wants to wait till his mid 30's for marriage?
2006-09-28 07:02:26 · answer #4 · answered by tbranson303 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young to think about marriage. Leave your bf alone and concentrate and other things, like having fun and go to school. If you continue with the marriage talk then you will scare him away. Your call.
Good luck
2006-09-28 06:57:13 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CAUTION!!! "I want to get married " is the phrase known as the number #1 cause of relationship break ups in the world!!! More CAUTION and good luck!
Ps. "i want to get married before you do", "i want to get married before you think is right" all carry the same danger.
2006-09-28 06:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you just told us. That should be a good enough hint.
Seriously, you need to talk to him and not just leave him in a few years because he didn't keep to your time line (your time line is a legitimate one, don't get me wrong).
Good Luck!
2006-09-28 07:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by LasVegasMomma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't hint to him, you come right out and ask him about it. If you're going to play games and hint around, you're not mature enough to get married. You are dancing around the topic like you're afraid of it, hoping that he'll pick up the thread of the conversation and ask you.
2006-09-28 07:01:04 · answer #8 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
let him know how you feel. If you can't agree on such a central issue, then you should look for someone else. Or you can hold on indefinately and hope he changes his mind at some point
2006-09-28 06:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you just wrote to complete strangers. If he is the right one he will respect what you have to say...Then take if from there.
2006-09-28 07:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by ELL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋