should i be sad?

Question

well not to long ago i found out that i was having a baby and then lost it now my babyfather and i have been trying to have anther and now we have been trying for 6 months. well the real reason is my best friend and my mans brother are have a baby but just started trying i was mad and still feel hurt about it all i really want this for me and it seems like that was my only chance to have a baby. what should i do? help me. I CANDY

Answer 1

I am in the same situation. I've been trying for two years when I found out my husbands best friend and his wife were expecting their second baby. I was pleased for them but felt so sad inside, and angry at them for having their second when I just wanted my first. It's horrible but perfectly normal. I wouldn't let your friend know how you feel, but maybe try talking to another friend or your partner about your feelings. Try not to feel guilty about it.

Answer 2

It's natural to feel jealous over someone else having a baby, especially after losing one. I've been there. I lost my first pregancy at 9 weeks. To make matters worse, I had to have a D&C and they wanted to schedule it on my birthday. I was fortunate to have it delayed one day. I will never forget losing a baby - even losing it so early, so I didn't want to lose it on the anniversary of my birth.

It took us 9 months to conceive again, which seemed like an eternity. We didn't make the pregnancy public knowledge until I was through my first tri-mester for fear of another miscarriage, so I felt a little cheated even then that I couldn't share my joy - but there was no way I was going to jinx myself. Thankfully we have a healthy baby girl.

I remember getting depressed while ttc because I thought the same thing, what if that was my only opportunity. But don't feel that way. If you conceived once, chances are good that you will conceive again. I know this won't make you feel better, but maybe it might comfort you to know that miscarriages are more common that you think - especially in your first pregnancy. I think statistically it's 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. My OB discovered that my uterus lining isn't thick enough and now I take progesterone from day 16 of my cycle until the end of my first trimester if I conceive or until I start my period. I took it when I conceived my daughter and it worked. I've heard of other women using progesterone to prevent miscarriages. Maybe you could talk to your OB about it. Also, you could be going thru post-partum depression. Talk to your OB about it. Who knows, maybe the stress could be interfering with conceiving. Best wishes for quick conception and a healthy baby!

Answer 3

You sound like a still-young woman... too early to stress about not yet having a 24/7 life-time commitment to raising a child. Give it time, girl! Enjoy being a great Aunt to other's babies.. and sleeping through the night as well!
I had my first baby at 24 and my last at 42--- a total of 7. So you have plenty of time to have a family!!
Grieve for your lost baby, for sure, but then move on and enjoy your NOW.

Answer 4

I have no idea how old you are but from your question I would say give up on having a baby and go back to school.
Stop the cycle of babies having babies and not getting enough education to ask an intelligent question.
I am not slamming your question it is valid to feel sad right now, it is because your hormones are mixed up after losing the first baby. Maybe that was for the best.
Please get an education and stop worrying about procreating just because someone else is pregnant.
I wish you only the best.

Answer 5

Hi,
I am a social worker and too many young couples come through our doors with no idea about how they are going to support their babies.
-I do hope you eventually have a family, but after you secure a college education and have some financial stability in your life. A college education will allow you to become self-sufficient in case the baby's father fails to live up to his obligations. You will be an independent career woman and remember...your starting pay will be sufficiently much greater !! Don't follow the difficult path I've treaded.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

I think you should stop stressing about being pregnant and it will happen for you eventually, me & my partner have been TTC for about 6 months now and nothing yet, i had a miscarriage myself in July 05 - I have just found out that my friend is pregnant and i am happy for her! - Be happy for your friends and your turn will come when the time is right, in the mean time enjoy having sex and dont focus all thoughts on having a baby!

Good Luck x

Answer 7

you have every right at being mad because you lost your baby. But don't hate on your friend be there for them. You want this so much that it's going to take time, and soon god will bless you just have faith. You might even get lucker then her and have twins or something. i want kids tryed and tryed nothing NOW i have six, seven including my step-son. It's great just give it time it will happen on day

Answer 8

Sorry you're going through that. I'm kind of going through the same thing. Just be happy for your friend and focus on your life right now that's all you can do. Your time will come. Go to your doctor and do everything possible to be healthy and happy when your baby comes.

Answer 9

Of course you should be sad. You lost a child. What you shouldn't be doing is trying to conceive because your friends are expecting. A child is something scared. They are not toys that you can put back once you are done playing. Please think about the responsibility a child will bring into you and your "mans" life. Until you are ready, please do us all a favor and have protected sex. Good luck!

Answer 10

If God means for you to have a baby - you will. Just remember that your best friend is exactly that - your best friend. And you should remain a good friend. It's normal to be jealous of your friends, but it's always adult to be a good friend.