How do you tell your daughter that her biological father doesn't want her?

Question

I have two children, and my youngest is not in her biological fathers life. He doesn't think she is his. How do I expain this to her when she is old enough to understand it all? She watches him take her big sister but not her. She might only be 2, but it hurts her I know it does. I can see it in her eyes.

Answer 1

You can get a dna test done to prove whether or not the child is his, and the court can order it, especially for child support purposes, especially if there is reason to believe she is his. It might be all it takes to convince him that he wants to be in her life. If it doesn't convince him, there isn't much you can do except, perhaps, at times when he comes to get his other child, make special plans with the younger one to keep her distracted.

Answer 2

The father has problems. Get a DNA test and make sure you have all the facts. Then tell her the truth. But some one will be hurt over this. In the meantime do something special with her when the one goes with her dad.

Answer 3

Well, I don't think anything you say to her is going to make her feel better. Perhaps, you could do a blood test for the DNA to prove to the jerk that she IS her father. That might change things. Until then, I would tell her that daddy has some problems and sometimes doesn't think like a "big boy." Since he doesn't think like a big boy, he does silly things. Tell her that you know it still makes her feel bad, but daddies do silly things sometimes when they don't think like big boys, but like babies.

Why it matters to him whether or not she is his, blows my mind! It's not about him; it's about her! Heck, I don't like my sister-in-law too much and I don't like her family or her friends. But I still go to my nieces birthday parties because it's not about me; it's about them. Anyway, good luck with this.

Answer 4

Omigod, how horrible to do to a child.
You will show her what unconditional love is.
I can't give an answer on how to break that to her..but speaking as a child raised by a single mom...
I had my questions..why...etc. I had a chance to ask my dad why he left and he spent all nite trying to explain that he and mom could not get along, but that I was loved by both.
The bottom line that worked for me is YOU will answer the needs and fill the gaps...God bless and give you grace.
-Respectfully, Rf

Answer 5

Get him past the "thinking" stage by asking him if a test will clear things up. Don't lay a guilt trip on him about the youngest until it's cleared up. Then you can lay it on thick. Good luck.

Answer 6

Ask your ex to have a DNA test done with your youngest. When you have the results, he will probably change and be a father to her! Problem solved.

Answer 7

This question breaks my heart because I'm a mother myself. My advice to you is get a DNA test to prove that he is the father. Perhaps when he has it in black and white he'll give in and be a father to his child. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Ouch .. damn I'm sorry about that ... , Maybe when he takes her sister out , you can take her some place just the two of you. Sounds like you need to make this guy take a paternity test .. Good luck .

Answer 9

I suggest you get a paternity test fast!! If you are sure he is her father, what are you waiting for?? Then, when you have the proof, and he still denies it, it won't be your fault later in life. In other words, your daughter won't blame you.

Answer 10

I don't know, have him take a paternity test. If that doesn't work I would cut him out of their lives so that he doesn't continue psychologically abusing your youngest.