Spouses working together..Is it to much togetherness?

Question

My hubby & me have been working together for 10 years now. We have been married for 8 yrs. My Husband has told me that he feels nothing for me (no love, no hate just nothing) I will be starting a new job in the next 2 weeks. He says he doesn't want a divorce or to get seperated but he can't anwser me if he still wants to be married. He likes it when I'm not around. I am soooo very confused at this point. He wants to see how he feels after we are not together so much. This is a second marriage for both of us and I don't want to be a 2x divorced woman!! What are your thoughts on this? How would you react? Would you hang in there?
PS...I am sure he will be seeing this post at some point so, please be nice.

Answer 1

Though working closely together can be good for some couples,but not others,I don't really think that is the main problem right now in your marriage.Right now your husband is going through some kind of emotional breakdown,and he's not sure how to deal with it.He's not sure how he feels about you anymore or about your marriage,but it sounds like he's not willing to give up yet until he works through his feelings.I believe he needs time to do some soul searching and find out what he really wants. I know that doesn't seem fair to you,but if you hope to have any chance at all of saving your marriage,you need to let him have this time to figure things out.
And to your husband if he does see this:I have been married for 20 years now,and I have been in your shoes. I also felt like I had no feelings for my husband,that I had nothing left to give him.I had to sit myself down and really do some soulsearching.Did I really want to throw away the last 20 years we spent together,even though it wasn't always easy times beween us? Did I really want to start over with a new life after I'd invested so much in the one I already had?I looked back on all the years we've been together and remembered all the good and bad times,and I realized that we'd already been through just about everything a marriage can go through,and we'd survived it together.All those memories,good and bad,stirred up the feelings of love once again in my heart,and I realized that yes,my marriage was worth fighting for.It's just that everyday life and the problems that come with it had drained me emotionally and physically,and I felt that my husband was draining me also,but that was not the case at all.I fought my way through all the negative feelings I was having and found that my marriage,my husband is what is most important to me in this world,because honestly there is nothing out in this world more important than having someone you love and who loves you in return. That is a priceless gift,and when you find it,you should never let it go.You may never find it again.So,please think this through very carefully and ask yourself do you really want to let go of the last 10 years of your life with your wife and start over again?

Answer 2

No, I would probably NOT be hanging in there. Life's too short. Of course, I AM a 2x divorced woman, just married for a third time. I don't know if your situation has anything to do with you working together; for some reason, in the US it seems to be a no-no to be romantically involved with co-workers; however, where I come from, it's always been a common way to meet spouses. My grandparents, my parents, my aunt and uncle, and my brother and his ex-wife met at work (to name a few). Take some time off from each other and figure out what you want to do... However, I don't know what the chances will be of you guys working it out. Good luck.

Answer 3

Yes somtimes working together does that to a relationship but you need to sit back and think about what is best for you. Are you willing ti give it a second chane if yes put everything you've got i there if not take all out. But i'll tell you something there is a huge possibility that he will feel differently if you where working some where else but he's going to miss having you around so much that he will be impatient for you to get home on evenings, take my advice if you will give another chance i did and i have the marriage that i always wanted

Answer 4

There are not two people more into each other than my wife and I.

We get along, have great kids, stable life, common Religion. We don't fight.

We worked together for 3 years, all went well, but it did hurt that special spark that you feel when you are not around each other 24/7.

Separate Jobs might be just the ticket for you two. Some counseling may help to, if you cant afford it, you might talk to your Priest / Preacher.

Good Luck and God Bless you Both!

Answer 5

Peep this Steve Harvey and Michael Basdin would eat him alive~ Check it.. I have never been married but I refuse to ask my spouse a question and he tells me he is not in love with me.. but he does not hate you either. then ask him does he want time apart? And Miss Lady, I would not be in a marriage and my husband does not want to be in love with me or he fell out of love with me. I think he wants to be free and he had to see again that the grass is not green on the other side. But guess what u will not be there to hold him and to allow him to see that its not good for him causae u are a woman and you can not wait for him to make his mind up~ U tell him u did not get the memo on falling out of love? Really cause this is serious if he does nto love you then Iam sure he is telling females he encounters and his guys that he is not in love with his wife btu I love her. no need like I said to try to make life easier on yourself if there is no togetherness. So get counseling and if that does not work then end the marriage. and if the hubby is ready then he needs to grab a hold of a back bone and stop stringing a sista a long~~Trust me if we do not love a person we will let you know~

Answer 6

Yes, working together can be difficult. you don't get a chance to miss each other and can get on each other's nerves. I think all couples need a little time apart. I would try starting another job and see if anything changes. if not I'd get out. I'm not a big fan of divorce but you shouldnt live a life without love.

Answer 7

i am not married yet but i say no. the closer yall are the better relationship yall will have, the more yall can really know each other. if there is not enough togetherness the marriage will fall apart. and if he really fills nothing for you, either talk to him...like really talk, take aside like an hour and see how he fills and just talk. still nothing...then he is not the guy for you. find some one with all the love in the world for you, don't settle fot less!!

Answer 8

Well its hard to respond knowing that he will se this, but I think that working, living, sleeping together is way too much. You need your time apart from each other. I just think it's time to snap into action. You need some drastic changes in your life. You getting a different job is a great start. Now change things at home. You could start by re-decorating a bit and take drastic measures in spicing up your sex life. No sex life, you say.....MAKE ONE...get some lingerie and totally surprise him. Just take him wherever he happens to be. If he is in the garage, go out there in your little outfit and heels and blow his mind. He needs a change of scenery, so before he goes out and gets it elsewhere, you need to create it right now.

Answer 9

Well I work with my soon to be ex husband and sometimes I feel that since we work together and when we go home I see him 24/7 and I feel so tired but hey its life. We're separated and I still work there with him somedays it gives my a head ache but I just let it go because Im going to my new job soon so hey just hang in there and maybe he'll leave the job.

Answer 10

In my first marriage my husband and I worked together for several months. It really put a strain on our marriage. Two people cannot spend 24 hours together. You have to have time away from each other. How will you miss them if you don't!