My husband won't tell anyone we're pregnant!?

Question

My husband cheated on me early in the summer end of spring and the girl he cheated with he still currently works with. He won't tell anyone at his work that we're expecting in May. I'm really mad and I can't shake the feeling that it's because he doesn't want "her" to know. Well yesterday I had an ultrasound and I took the pictures up there to show him, the waitresses saw it and the one he was with saw it too (she was there eating.....how convenient) so obviously they figured it out. I didn't walk around announcing it, anyway, my husband is furious with me and said that I did it because "she" was in there. I'm like I don't care who was there, a baby is not a secret and neither is his family so why should it matter if they find out or not? Do I have a right to be angry? I really think he doesn't want her to know because he still has feeling for her, or he's still screwing around I don't know which. Suggestions?

Answer 1

It sounds like you two have some work to do on your marriage. Have you considered marriage counseling? Doesn't sound like his infidelity has been resolved between the two of you. You are concerned that he is still cheating, for instance.

Did you ask him why he doesn't want anyone to know about the pregnancy? What did he say? Traditionally, people wait until the 14th week to announce their pregnancy because there is a high risk of miscarraige before then. Could this have been a possible reason that he wanted to wait? If not, then maybe he is still cheating on you, did you ask him if there is anything going on with her now?

I hope that you will go and get some counseling --even if he won't go -- because you may have some unresolved issues, which is understandable given everything. Too bad you started a family in the midst of a marital crisis, instead of waiting until your marriage was on more solid ground, but I guess that's how life goes sometimes....

Answer 2

oooooh that makes me so angry! First of all, he should have been at that ultra sound with you, second, he seems like he worries about that other girl more than you do. Is she always on his mind? Why on God's earth would he be mad? That doesn't make any sense. You guys should be at home making fun of her together. ;) That m*ther f*cker is still cheating! I would find a man that would care for you and that baby more than what some other woman is going to think. If I were you, I would have plastered those pictures all over his work place and shoved one down her throat! You should put a bumper sticker on his car that says, "I'll be the next dead beat dad of the year" Loser. So sorry your going through this. It should be a happy time for you both. All the stress he is going to cause you throughout your pregnancy is going to cause a colicy baby. Get rid of him! Or just start craving the food from where he works and pop in all the time for a bite to eat and watch those two fumble all over themselves.

Answer 3

That is a tough situation to be going through while your pregnant, Not only having to deal with your husband cheating on you but the lack of trust that has to be still ongoing. The fact he does not want people at work to know your pregnant and got angry when you showed up there with the ultra sound pictures AND blamed you for "wanting her to see them" makes me think something must still be going on between the two of them.

You need a good support system right now. I hope you have family to turn to. I think the best possible outcome for you is to get some counseling if possible. If your husband wont go with you and does not want to work on your marriage you may have to think about what is best for you and your baby.

You and your body certainly do not need more added stress during this time. I hope and wish the best for you.

Answer 4

Of course you have a right to be angry, I am so sorry that you are going through this at a time that should be a happy one.
You REALLY need to think should you have this baby with him or alone cause it seems to me he wont the the other women go, always remember that once a cheater always a cheater.

I really feel for you and I am so sorry your are going through this but if I were you I would let him go and start your life without him cause if he was happy with this baby he would be screaming to the world the news. My husband couldn't stop telling people and he even carried the ultra sound picture in his wallet.

Also why didn't he go with you to the ultra sound screening?
If he is not going with you to doctors appointments then he is not ready for this baby or doesn't want it, men are like if we don't see it then its not there.

I really hope you think about your life in the future if you stay with him and what kind of parent he'll be but please remember you are bring a Innocent life into this world that needs a good stable home life.

Answer 5

Just keep doing what your doing. Who cares if people found out at all? it's not like your going to wear a huge sweater hiding your belly until you give birth. Tell your husband out right that you want everyone to know that your having a child, including the people at his work, if he has a problem, give him the silent treatment and seriously don't talk to him until he grows up and actually wants to be a father to this baby... tell him that you are being resonable, and that if you had it your way, he would quit his job and you would move to a different state to get away from the affair. Trust isn't easy to come by, your husband broke the trust now it's time for him to gain that trust back.

Answer 6

This is a symptom of a larger problem. Of course you have the right to be furious! You have the right to demand that he no longer see this woman ever again, even if that means he quits his job. That is the only way to stop an affair. Even if they are not doing anything right now, the temptation and feelings are still there between them and any contact they have is dangerous. You should be his main priority, not what she thinks. If I was pregnant, my husband would be estatic to share the news with his coworkers. I think most husbands would. He is acting inappropriate and you don't deserve this, especially at this time in your life. I would say with them working together your marriage is in danger.

Answer 7

You have every right to be angry! It seems like he hasn't gotten over this other girl, and frankly, I am suprised you haven't done anything about them still working together. This is all completely opinion, so please bear with me, but if you are expecting a child with this man, you need to make sure he can handle it! If he can't even decide between you and this girl at work, how can you expect him to handle your child? Will you ever trust him to be with the baby?

I have been cheated on in the past, and it bit me in my rear when I took the guy back. Either he continued to cheat on me, or I kept bringing it up to hurt him when he made me mad. That is where my decision to cut all ties with any liars I encounter came from. I don't do cheating, it's not right and it's not fair! To you or your unborn child!

Kick him to the curb, sister!

Answer 8

go with your feelings. If my hubby had acted like that I would have been gone. Tell him that you are sad that he does not want to share a life with you, and tell him that if everything has to be a secret then to move out. I would be worried about the working situation for sure. If my hubby worked with someone he had a relationship before with, then I would have made him quite. Sounds to me like he is hiding his relationship with you. Sorry to say, but I would get out, or make him change his attitude really quick.

oh ya and just do you know my hubby told EVERYONE I was pregnant as soon as the stick got two lines. Litterally he showed the stick I had just peed on to about 34 people. (this is our 3rd kid too)

Answer 9

I feel sorry for your child because your marriage is obviously in trouble. He should nto be working with a woman he had an affair with. Your husband isn't faithful and he is probably still sleeping with her. You made a mistake by going down there. It seems you wanted her to know but really you should be focusing ont he fact that you need to repair your marriage. Children make it much much harder. You can expect him to do this agin.

Answer 10

You have a right to feel the way you do, and, honestly, I don't see how you are putting up with this. Something has clearly gone wrong in this relationship, and your husband seems to have emotionally moved on... If he can't deal with reality and treat you properly, if he can't be happy with his family and with his new baby on the way, then I'd suggest some serious counseling. (In a similar situation in my life, I opted for divorce... and I -- and my daughter-- couldn't be happier!) I hope everything works out for the best for you -- and for your child. It's not just about you anymore; it's about BOTH of you! Don't let him treat both of you this way!