The entire company is comprised of 12 people. At 24 y/o, she is the youngest. The next youngest person is another receptionist at 27 year old girl with 3 kids. Today her entire office is going to lunch, and nobody invited her along or offered to bring anything back for her. It is a predominantly female office... she is the only one without kids and/or alimony... and she is BY FAR the prettiest. I understand women in the workplace are bitches to one another, but she is an intelligent and nice girl, and doesn't deserve this. There is a definite respect issue here, and a serious lack of team-sense and leadership.
I am terribly upset over the way they treat her, and I just do not know what to say or do to help her. What do you think?
2006-09-28 05:58:21 · 12 answers · asked by wvukid21 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
That is cold and hurtful but remember, things are not always what they seem. Maybe they think she won't want to go.....you just never know what they are thinking. Give them the benefit of the doubt. If she really cares about it, tell her to start asking one or two people to whom she feels closer to lunch. Maybe once a week or so. Once she gets to know them and become friendly with them they probably won't exclude her.
2006-09-28 08:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by porkchop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that...but I ended up making friends with everyone and being the party planner in the end. Nobody went anywhere without me by the time I left the company. How long has she been there? She wil be treated they way she treats and the way she allows herself to be treated. If she sits back and gets mad, they will pick up on it and think she's a *****...but if she makes them her friend, they won't want to leave her out like that. She's young, she needs to learn how to make friends and influence people...and you should stay out of it. I would have a fit if my boyfriend wanted to get involved with office bs on my behalf. They won't have any respect for her if you do.
2006-09-28 13:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by sasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to be glad she isn't in the "group". I too worked at an office with about 10 people all women but 2 men. Most of the people were cool but some were just mean. It is like high school all over again. Tell your girlfriend to find a hobby during her lunch hour and stay her distance personally with them and it will make her job and life easier!
2006-09-28 13:17:50 · answer #3 · answered by boohoo 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you have no control over how other people treat her. and neither does she. the only thing that she has control over is the way that she responds. She may not be as old as them but she can display a bit more maturity by doing what she's being paid to do and not play into the catty-ness of the other women at her work.
2006-09-28 13:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by RUth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE FEELS LIKE A VICTIM. SHE HAS YOU CONVINCED SHE'S A VICTIM, AND SHE HAS RECRUITED YOU AS AN ALLY IN HER ARGUMENT.
BUY HER A COUPLE OF BOOKS BY DALE CARNEGIE. HE WRITES BOOKS ABOUT RAPPORT BUILDING (MARKETED TOWARDS SALESPEOPLE). ONE IN PARTICULAR, "HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE" COMES TO MIND.
DON'T TRY TO "FIX" HER SITUATION. GUYS ALWAYS DO THAT AND IT'S SOOOOO ANNOYING. JUST OFFER HER SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING LIKE ANOTHER WOMAN WOULD DO.
BUY THESE BOOKS 'FOR YOURSELF' AND READ THEM WHEN SHE'S AROUND, AND SAY "AHHH! HONEY, CHECK THIS OUT..." HERE AND THERE TO SPARK HER INTEREST. LEAVE THEM AROUND WHERE SHE WILL SEE THEM. IF SHE IS INTERESTED, ASK HER IF SHE'S READ A CERTAIN CHAPTER YET. RELATE TO THE INFORMATION WITH YOUR OWN EXAMPLES. THIS IS HOW WOMEN COMMUNICATE. SHE WILL RELATE TO THAT.
WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE ARE ONLY BITCHES TO THOSE THAT APPEAR TO BE STUCK UP OF STANDOFFISH. SOMEONE WHO IS INTROVERTED AND SHY, MAY ACTUALLY BE SCARED OR INTIMIDATED, BUT COME OFF AS STUCK UP OR UNFRIENDLY.
WHEN PEOPLE HIDE BEHIND THEIR SOCIAL ANXIETY, THEY COME OFF EXACTLY AS THEY DON'T WANT TO. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOOKS OR JEALOUSY. THOSE ARE JUST COP-OUT REASONS FOR NOT TRYING TO BUILD RAPPORT.
IS SHE IS ONLY CONCERNED WITH HER OWN INSECURITY AND DISCOMFORT, THEN SHE CAN'T NOTICE MUCH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. IF SHE WERE TO FOCUS ON OTHER PEOPLE MORE, NOTICE THEIR GOOD QUALITIES AND THEIR EFFORT TO BE NOTICED, SHE MIGHT FEEL MORE WELCOME AND LESS ALONE.
SHE CHOOSES TO BE THE VICTIM HERE. SHE VOLUNTEERS FOR THE JOB. JUST DON'T TELL HER THAT. BE SUBTLE AND DO THE BOOK THING. LISTEN TO HER AND SUPPORT AND ACKNOWLEDGE HER, BUT DON'T BABY HER OR FEEL SORRY FOR HER. IT DOESN'T HELP.
2006-09-28 13:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would count my self lucky that these nasty people didn't want me to join them. instead of being upset about this show them u have a better life then them by having each other, do things for her at work that thay would not get, like send her some flowers, they will be curiouse, if she wants them to pay attention then they will, but be careful what u wish for, they could just be trouble makers.
2006-09-28 18:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am also in reception. I have been for 6 years now , has she ever asked if she could join them ? .. Maybe they feel she has no intrest in going. Tell her to Speak up , Once i spoke up an asked if i could join my co-workers , they ask me all the time now. Tell her Dont be scared to ask , she maybe suprised !
2006-09-28 13:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by lilredhead 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Someone has to answer the phones while they go to lunch. Sucks being low gal on the totem pole- it will get better for her.
2006-09-28 13:01:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Ummm, someone has to stay behind and get the phones!
2006-09-28 13:05:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Does she have any friends there doesn't sound like it and maybe she isn't telling you everything.
2006-09-28 13:00:55 · answer #10 · answered by Just me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋