I had a buddy who I used to work with at another company, we were cool he was kind of feminine acting but he's not gay. He and I became good buddies for about 3 weeks and every now and again he'll shoot me and email just asking what’s going on or career wise. I must admit he and I only became friends because I was the only female where the both of us worked and we both were temps (for the govmt). I wanted to hang out with him because I enjoy his company and feel like he's a "girl pal" of mine, I am worried about asking my fiancé if it's okay if I hung out with him and my cousin together at the mall because I know in the first 2 months of our relationship (we only dated about 2 wks and I didn't take the relationship serious at first) I cheated and that he may not feel comfortable with me having any male friends but we have been together 3 years now and I haven't cheated nor have any intentions (which I do about 2) because he may not accept it. What should I do?
2006-09-28 05:48:25 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I meant I have two male friends they are both co-workers. He has gone to lunch with me and one of them thats what I meant by (which are 2)
2006-09-28 05:56:13 · update #1
ask him....if it makes him uncomfortable ...stop
2006-09-28 05:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by forbidnfruit_420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him and if he has issues with it then you must respect his opinion. If he is not gay he may think he has a chance. Even though you haven't cheated in a long time men don't always look at that, they look at the fact that you did it and could do it again. When me and my fiance started dating I was not serious and I cheated(being stupid). He says he trusts me now, but if I am gone to long with friends he ask where I have been. It is no reason for you all to even have a disagreement about it bcuz that is yo dude and you are his lady and y'all are about to be married and you guys have to come to some type of agreement or you may want to tell your friend that you can not chill until things are resolved. Don't give him short notice and expect him to be cool either girl. Ask him in advance like if you were asking his permission to make the plans not asking can you go through with the plans you already made. ya know.
2006-09-28 05:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by Miss T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really does not depend on other people. The answer should come from your fiance. If you respect the man, you will let him know and he will tell you what he thinks. If he feels uncomfortable with the idea being that he has a reason to, I would not go.
Eventually you will need to earn his trust back and then maybe you can go with guy friends again. If he still (unreasonably) says no, the decision will be up to you. If it is worth the love of this man to hang out with a buddy, go for it. Otherwise respect him and your marriage and dont go out.
2006-09-28 06:01:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like this buddy as just a friend only, you and your fiance could have him and your cousin over for dinner or just to hang out with both of you. That would make it two couples enjoying each other's company.
2006-09-28 05:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by moekittykitty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, did he ever find out about the cheating at the begining of the relationship? if he did (and i hope u did tell him that's alot to take into a marriage) he might have doubt's however at 3 yrs into your relationship u should be able to tell him or ask him anything.. if not maybe you should rethink this very carefully. i hope this helps.sometimes the best friend is a male because they don't judge u....
2006-09-28 06:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by katzekee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is probable getting disenchanted because of the fact she thinks you do not have faith her. possibly it would desire to help in case you permit her understand which you have faith HER yet not the placement (or the co-worker, in case you have reason to suspect him). possibly it is likewise possible to grant to make it right into a romantic getaway for the two one in all you- plan some particular evenings out, and so on. doing some thing you understand she'd be excited approximately. despite if her intentions are one hundred% trouble-free and above board, i don't think of it is incorrect so which you will desire to bypass alongside. till her job is on the line or she circuitously thinks you may make her look unprofessional (ingesting too lots, scuffling with too lots, flirting too lots, and so on.) as her husband it would look which you have a real to have your thoughts on the situation heard and extra heavily. truthfully, if it makes you so uncomfortable, i don't see why she won't bypass with you rather than the coworker. you're her husband, her coworker isn't. That reported, she for sure has her motives. even nevertheless she chooses to break issues after the two one in all you argue over the situation, i don't think of that her anger skill which you will desire to would desire to drop the concern. possibly it would desire to help to objective to speak along with her lower back, mutually as focusing on actively listening to what she has to declare. In different words, attempt to pay attention her out and function a real communicate instead of a controversy. I easily have blanketed 2 links under on energetic listening :) . the 2d is style of long once you're a element style of guy or woman. possibly if she feels which you have heard her, then she would be extra keen to pay attention you. in any case, stable luck. :)
2016-10-18 03:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your fiance that this guy is very feminine & you are not attracted to him in the least, but you enjoyed his company & would like to hang out with him on occasion. I also would introduce this friend to your fiance so your fiance will see that he has nothing to worry about.
2006-09-28 05:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got lost after "i had a buddy"
If you want to hang with a guy friend just do it.
your boyfriend/fiance will just have to deal.
You set up the asking thing before marriage and then after you will be told who to hang with.
do what is comfortable for you.
2006-09-28 05:58:33 · answer #8 · answered by desayunogratis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GIRL, IF YOU THINK YOU NEED TO QUALIFY YOUR FRIEND AS "FEMININE, BUT NOT GAY" THEN NOT ONLY WONT YOUR MAN BE COMFORTABLE WITH YOU HANGING WITH HIM, NEITHER ARE YOU, IT SEEMS THAT A GAL-PAL NEEDS NO EXPLANATION, SO ARE YOU BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF? OR IS THER A BIT MORE ATTRACTION THAN YOU ADMIT, MY MALE FRIENDS ARE AGGRESSIVELY MALE, MY GAY FRIENDS ARE GAY AND MY FEMALE FRIENDS ARE FEMALE I FEEL NO NEED TO CHANGE THEIR DEFINITIONS TIO MAKE THEM LESS THREATENING, YOU MAN WILL EITHER ACCEPT OR REJECT THEM, HOPEFULLY ON THE PERSONAL MERITS OF EACH NOT THE BS YOU'RE SHOVELING TO GET PAST HIS RADAR..TRUST HIM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
2006-09-28 05:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a thin line bewteen right and wrong, but hardly recognizable for the opposite sex and genders that want to copulate for being normal.
2006-09-28 05:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not just invite your fiancé along.....even if he doesn't go...the sheer fact that your cousin is there and the knowledge that he could be there if he wanted should keep it from seeming as something it's not in his eyes....
2006-09-28 05:52:38 · answer #11 · answered by anthony v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋