I am 24 years old and have been married 2 years recently i found out my husband was having sex with his boss. I was devestated because my husband and i had spent the last year trying for a baby and the first year of marriage really did not use protection. He had kept saying i was the problem and we had a lot of fights because he thought it was because off the miscarriage i had when i was18 with my first bf. He met me right after and helped me through it. We seperated for 2 months and i started the paper work and so did he for a divorce. While at the bowling ally i actually ran into my ex. bf my first love and the only other guy i dated befor my husband we had seen each other around before and talked. We went out and had some drinks talked about life he turned out to be married 6 months and they had major problems ext. I had sex with him one time thing and now i just found out i am 1 month 1/2 with his child possibly twins.
2006-09-28 05:45:28 · 38 answers · asked by Jessica C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband and i were going to get back together before this happened but he said he would not raise another mans child but wants to stay in touch with me?
2006-09-28 05:46:44 · update #1
My ex. bf is married actually to the girl he left me for when i was 18 and pregnant i miscarried though. They have been on and off for years i informed him of my condition and he said he needed time to think but ould pay for my medical bills while i am pregnant. I feel like i ruined his marriage.
2006-09-28 05:49:53 · update #2
Jessica C--things seem really bad right now, but they will get better. There is nothing you can do to change what has happened in the past. It sounds like a lot of people made mistakes. Try to get into a support group for singles (since you are divorcing, right?) or a support group for single women with children...that might help. Try not to fantasize about the ex boyfriend coming back to you...you don't need that stress right now. Try going to church...at the right church you will meet some non-judgmental, supporting ladies who can help you through this. You have two wonderful little lives growing inside you right now who will need you very much in less than 9 months. Rely on your family and friends to help you through this situation. I'll be praying for you.
2006-09-28 06:13:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your story is a great case in point for the argument that people must end one relationship before starting up another.
If you & your husband were planning on getting back together, then why would you cheat on him with an ex BF? Was it a way to get back on hubby for cheating on you?
Anyway, it all doesn't matter because now you are about to bring another mans baby(s) into the picture.
It would take a much stronger man than I, to look at those children, & be able to forget that they came from an affair that my wife had with another man.
If I were you, I wouldn't go blaming myself over the breakup of your ex BF's marriage. It was already down the drain before you came back into his life.
The troubles in your marriage though, can be equally shared between you & your husband.
First & foremost you need to figure out what to do about the baby(s) that are growing inside of you. They need to have a safe, happy nurturing environment to grow up in, & it's up to you to make the necessary changes in your life & the choices you make so that they can have it.
Best of Luck.
2006-09-28 06:05:58 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear, both marriages were screwed up before any of this happened, however now even more as there are other lives involved (the unborn twins). You need much more help than anyone here can give you. I am sorry you and the excuse for a husband that you have, chose to do what you did. This sort of thing seems to be running rampant these days and I predict in the near future we will have a nation of people with rampant HIV infections and other STD's, not to mention children in DCFS and that we are all paying for with our tax monies. Wait, we do now.
2006-09-28 05:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok how can you tell that you are having twins. as for you two happening i don't even know where to start. he's married and just cuz there is problems doesn't give him an excuse to sleep with you. as for your marriage it seems you two are seprated so it really doesn't matter anymore b/c of the fact that there is a divorce in the process. find out you feel you should do now about being pregnant. don't relay on the ex bf b/c he's married right now. think about you and the child that is going to be born.
2006-09-28 05:50:09 · answer #4 · answered by Lady C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, is this situation for real? If so I guess it just shows how truth is always stranger than fiction.
Sounds as if the marriage to your husband was over anyway and this latest incident put the final nail in the coffin. Now, let's see....you had unprotected sex with a former bf who is now married and now you're pregnant with his kid(s) - how smart is that? Will the ex-br now leave his wife with whom he supposedly is having problems? What if he doesn't? Time to visit the clinic get the abortion - I don't know why there is so much support for having children out of wedlock on this board what is the problem with pregnancy termination? I know I am going to start a shitestorm with that comment, but I really don't care - Start over with neither your soon to be ex husband or the ex bf.
2006-09-28 06:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is one of the reasons why I don't believe cheating on a spouse, even one yo're have trouble with. Cheating only serveres to complicate things.
That said I think you need to ask yourself if you want your marriage to work. are you willing to put in the effort, and trust me the effort is huge, to make it work.
I doubt your husband would want to anything to do with you. If I were in his shoe I wouldn't take you back and raise another man's kids. that the other guy's responsiblity.
I hope your ex boyfriend will be man enough to take the responsiblity that comes with having father children.
The more I think about it the more I realise your made a big mess of things and to honest with you, as much as I like to sympathize with people, I have a hard time feeling sympathy for you. Cheating is selfish and cowardly as far as I'm concerned.
Ultimately you should move on and try and not make the same mistake again.
2006-09-28 06:00:52 · answer #6 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dang girl, ok. I dont like your husband for what he did to you. How can he tell u, that he wont raise another man's child? Excuse me! He was the one that messed up FIRST! All of this could have been avoided if HE was'nt messing around first. He is trying to blame you first for ur marital problems when u didnt know about his boss. Now he is trying to make u feel bad again? What is wrong with him? I would stay away from men, until I can cope with everything, people tend to do things when they are not all there becuz of thier problems
2006-09-28 05:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by Photographer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a mess! First off, I wouldn't go back to your Husband because his actions show that he doesn't really love or respect you. Second, I would do a DNA test to determine who's the Baby's father to protect yourself so you can get support and piece of mind. If the Baby belongs to your ex-bf, then I believe he should know and discuss what you both want to do next regardless if this ruins his marriage because HE chose to have the affair and HE'S the one who cheated on his wife and HE did it to HIMSELF. Re-evaluate your life and what you want for yourself then go from there. - The solutions lie within your heart. Good Luck!!!
2006-09-28 05:58:32 · answer #8 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear you have major problems. I wouldnt tolerate my husband having sex with his boss (is it a he or she?). First thing I would do is have yourself tested, especially if you are pregnant. Also suggest that you go and visit a councillor for advice. There is an awful lot to sort out here and you are going to need some help. I hope you work it out. People can be very critical, and are not equipped to advise you properly. Good luck
2006-09-28 05:54:19 · answer #9 · answered by Vonnie S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the marriages were ruined before hand. good luck with the baby/s! They are a joy. I also hope that the father sticks around to help you.
He ruined his marriage, not you. You and your husband were separated, he was still with his wife. He is a grown boy, he is responsible for his own actions. His wife needs to leave his cheating butt. I wouldn't put up with that from my husband, tho we are having our own problems, but nothing that can't be worked out Whit communication. He is at fault, not you. Cheer up. It is bad for the baby/ies if you are upset. Take care of yourself and the wonderful package you are carrying.
2006-09-28 05:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by gin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋