Let me start out by saying: This pertains to a SERIOUS relationship. I'm 24 and my bf is 26, we live together.
I hate to admit it but our sex life is horrible. We only have sex once or at the MOST twice a week! I've made it known that this is a problem for me. And honestly, I think it's a control issue. It's like he gets a kick out of being able to control when we have sex. He knows I want it all the time and it gives him some sort of satisfaction NOT give it to me. I've tried to understand this and to a point - accept it. But the more I think about it, the more it upsets me.
He doesn't seem to understand that this is hurting our relationship. Sex is not my number one priority. But when you are turned down time and time again, it hurts.
Other than this issue, he's a really great boyfriend. He doesn't try to control me in any other way. I love him and I don't want this to ruin us but I don't know how much I can take.
Has any body else experienced this? What do I do?
2006-09-28 05:45:27 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I didn't want to admit it to myself either, but I can't possibly spend the rest of my life with someone like this. But when I start to think about leaving him, I feel guilty and selfish.
2006-09-28 05:50:31 · update #1
Yeah, right.......he is "a really great boyfriend". How can you say that?? He has the ultimate control over you and then you still say how "great" he is. What is wrong with this picture3, sweetie??? Yoou are the one with the problem. He is playing with you and using you ro he has another girlfriend. You have serious issues....much deeper than refusing sex. You need to think if this is the way you want to be with this "really great boyfriend"......he does not seem that great to me at all! Have you no standards???
2006-09-28 05:52:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy who had this problem and I'll be 100% honest with you so you can trust me. I stopped having sex with an ex because she gained too much weight. For me, I don't find overweight women attractive. I still loved her but I didn't find her sexually attractive anymore. Have you gained weight?
Another reason, which I'm sure you considered, is that he's having sex with someone else. Other reasons may be he's bored with sex (maybe try new things and spice it up) or he's too tired. Maybe twice a week is enough for him.
Here's the solution: talk to him and tell him what you need. Ask him what would it take to have sex more often.
2006-09-28 12:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by Chris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe try seducing him, getting him in the mood. Instead of asking just reach down and make the first move. If that doesn't work then u have a problem. Make it real clear that u feel unwanted, or u think thats something is wrong because of this. Good luck.
2006-09-28 12:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by a7xrios 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit down with him and let him know exactly how you feel. Tell him that you need to know a reason why he is acting the way he is. Who knows maybe its not a control Issue and might have a problem downstairs? Whatever the issue is, I strongly suggest you speak to Him. Its very important to communicate with eachother. Aside from that....I suggest role play...toys...and dirty talk....:) It helps to spice things up! Good Luck!
2006-09-28 12:58:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's controlling your access to sex, he certainly isn't being a very attentive boyfriend.
If you've tried to discuss the issue, make it clear to him that his lack of compromise os damaging the relationship. There is a point where you should be willing to walk if you're not happy with him.
2006-09-28 12:52:58 · answer #5 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're putting too much emphasis on sex. As you say, it's not the most important thing in a relationship. If you're happy besides the sex, just be happy and quit worrying about it.
And I agree with Street Ryda... if he is adamant about NOT having sex, it is very possible he's gay
2006-09-28 12:54:48 · answer #6 · answered by MEGAWALRUS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the man for you, I need to have it at least 3-4 times a day.
2006-09-28 12:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same way as your boyfriend... I only like to have sex when I feel like it. The rest of the time I have too much shitt on my mind. I dont think he is trying to control you.
2006-09-28 12:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only i can i advice to you is to talk to your bf by heart to heart..set a date that he is not tired to talk with..b'coz as i can see there's something wrong with you bf feelings..i don't want to say this but i think your boyfriend don't love you as much as love him..but if you want to survive your relationship..talk to him and tell all your upset to him in good words that it may not come to argument..that's i think the best to do,if you guys love each other...god bless!
2006-09-28 13:01:31 · answer #9 · answered by lheebink 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexual inclination varies according to individual and age. There could be a disparity in your case. It is up to you to strike a balance
in your relationship by learning the limitations of both of you.
2006-09-28 13:34:03 · answer #10 · answered by Cool 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋