The only time my husband wants sex is at night! He doesn't even think about it until it is time for bed and it's not as often as I'd like (maybe 2-3 times a week)! I am so frustrated. I've told him many times that I want more sex, but it's like he doesn't hear me! On Sunday I wore a cute little dress w/ no underwear and he finally noticed late Sunday afternoon, and still made no attempt to have sex w/ me! I always tell him I want him and I need more sex, but nothing changes.
We have been together for 2 1/2 yrs. and just got married in June. It has been like this for a long while now What is going on????
2006-09-28 05:39:05 · 33 answers · asked by what 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, I'm not fat or ugly.... quite the opposite! When I go out w/ my friends I am the one guys (and some girls) hit on...So I know that is not the reason! Thanks for your opinion though!
2006-09-28 05:43:38 · update #1
I am the one who keeps the sex alive and interesting. I am tired of being the one who does it all!
2006-09-28 05:47:54 · update #2
I've tried everything! I have "toys" and movies, but that is only a temporary fix.
2006-09-28 05:51:26 · update #3
We are only in our late twenties.
2006-09-28 05:53:54 · update #4
Difference in libido, and sex drive. When my hubby and I got together, I was blown away. And I tried to keep up in the beginning, but four months after meeting, we married......and I realized quickly that I was wearing myself down trying to keep up with him.
I realized that we had TOTALLY different sex drives. It was kind of distressing. Because I didn't want to NOT be meeting his needs and have him go else where, but equally, I treasure sleep....and I don't want to be getting flipped every which way all night long.
We had to come to a compromise. I tried a little harder, and he tried to mellow out a little too. Maybe you and hubby could sit down and come to a compromise, or maybe he needs a spark.
Find out what his WILDEST fantasy is.......and give it to him. If that doesn't do it............slip some viagra in his breakfast! =)
2006-09-28 05:44:41 · answer #1 · answered by lilac b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey... If this is how he's been the whole time, then maybe he's just not that driven to have sex all the time. He's unlikely to change just to suit you. I'm sure he's making some effort already - it may not seem enough to you, but then marriage is about meeting in the middle. If sex is so important that you can't "settle" for less in this area, then you should have never gotten married to this man to begin with. Yet, you did - so, there must have been other qualities that made you fall in love with him, and say "I do". What are they? What is it that you cherish in your marriage? It can't all be about sex, all the time. Back off, and accept that if you are to remain with this person, your sex life will probably never be exactly what you wish it to be. Hopefully, there are other things in your relationship that can make up for it... And if not - I suppose you had made a mistake; it's not too late to get out, and try again with someone else.
2006-09-28 06:07:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what's going on .. could be a lot of different things. You need to sit down with him and talk about it in an open way .. (without blaming him) .. if he has no answer for you .. then I wouldn't expect it to change. Then it is up to you. Is the marriage still worth it to you on his terms for sex ... or is it not ? If not .. time to get out of the relationship and move on. Just make sure that the sex is THAT important to you .. if the guy is a great husband... I'd think it over carefully. Good Luck! :)
2006-09-28 05:46:44 · answer #3 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I swear your singing my song!! I have been with my man for the same amount of time (well three years this December) and started having this SAME problem.
I do things like wear sexy lingerie to bed, that always helps.
However, I have yet to find away to get him to want me during day light hours… Well, some times I wear nothing under my jeans… and wear just a bra as a top when I do house work... Then let him notice and if he doesn’t give me attention after that... I let him know that there is nothing on under my jeans… in a sexy manor.
I some times do things out of the ordinary, which works too. If he’s lying in bed and I say that I have something to show him.. BUT it’s a surprise so I make him wear a blind fold. While he has the blind fold on I slip into sexy lingerie and then sit on top of him and say ok you can look now… and then bam.. it something he is not used to and it gets him excited.
2006-09-28 05:56:54 · answer #4 · answered by girl_in707 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Big red flag! Could be that he's got something bothering him at work? Has he started any new medications? You've *told* him about this and he's not getting it into his head? I can tell you from experience that once the sex diminishes, you're in Trouble...my wife went through *exactly* the same thing about 2-3 yrs into our marriage...we're now divorcing 13 yrs after that and it *never* got any better. I would sit him down and have a *serious* talk...like *right now!* Good luck...
2006-09-28 05:46:08 · answer #5 · answered by BTDT...no thanks on the shirt 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all guys want as much sex as they can get. Believe it or not, they are human with emotions, mood swings and other inconvenient traits. You're also out of the honeymoon period (2 years) which slows many people down. They get comfy and want to relax into their life. I would recommend buying the Rabbit Pearl from Babeland.com and enjoy that when your husband isn't in the mood.
Another unfortunate possibility is infidelity, but you would be able to sense if that's the case. You can't change who he is; only your reaction. Perhaps see if he has any weird kinks he'd like to explore, or change the scenery...go to a spa together or nice picnic. I would go nuts if my husband were so difficult and wish you the best of luck. :(
2006-09-28 05:45:49 · answer #6 · answered by Brianna 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it quite is how he has consistently been with you, yet you made the choice to stay with him. it is not real whilst he says "maximum everybody is like this." it is only his way of deflecting the concern. notwithstanding some human beings would advise he's dishonest or maybe gay, there is likewise a probability that he quite has a low intercourse rigidity. Many men like to have intercourse, yet there are some nuts and berries that only do not. Does he watch porn? Does he masturbate? you may desire to understand if his sexual skill is being directed someplace else or if he only would not have any. Does he take any varieties of medicine which includes anti-depressants? there are a number of stuff that would make a contribution to a low intercourse rigidity, even rigidity. locate out the "why" component of it first. He can a minimum of attempt to thrill you different techniques besides, you men would desire to speak approximately what your desires are and are available up with what he's keen to do to make a contribution.
2016-10-18 03:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to try counsiling. Like couples therapy. Is your husband encountering a lot of stress in his work life? Sometimes that can create a lull in a person's sex life. Are you worried he is sleeping with someone else? Then flat out ask him. You should schedule some time to have a real discussion with him, and really think about how you are feeling and let him know. If that doesn't work, suggest the therapy. Good luck!
2006-09-28 05:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by Dewey 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've never heard of this before! A man that doesn't want sex all the time....do you think he could be in the closet? Ask him what turns him on, watch porn together, get really freaky with him, try new things. Milking the prostate is always good. Try adamandeve.com and buy some toys for you both to play with. I wonder if he is depressed. Or worse, afraid of having kids.....dig deep girl, eventually you will figure it out. You could always try pretending not to be in the mood and see if he notices that...
2006-09-28 05:45:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If this has been a problem for a long time why did you marry him? Maybe you could try some supplements for him that boost the male sex drive. It sounds like you have more or a sex drive than he does. You can't force him to have sex more than he wants to, try giving it time, but it sounds like maybe you married someone that you aren't compatible with.
2006-09-28 05:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by mistypa12000 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋