married for 2 yrs now and just figured out later on that he have depression{inheritage} which is he kept it secret until you two got married.
if you are in her shoe how do you feel and what do you want to do?? do you have the right to feel upsit or just forget it???
2006-09-28 05:32:42 · 26 answers · asked by confusegirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no don't get upset just be there for him always
2006-09-28 05:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression, depression, depression...
Serious, yes for many it is - for others it is convenient.
Cheat or Not? To ask the question means you have already thought about it, and in some ways isn't that already cheating?
He is depressed, you are his wife - his depression is depressing you - but it isn't an excuse to screw around. You can make friends, join a support group, and all that great stuff as well as get him to a doctor, but if you want to be with someone else that isn't depression that is just looking for an escape.
Work on it together or get divorced. DONT CHEAT!!!
2006-09-28 12:43:47 · answer #2 · answered by mraandmisse 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no justification for cheating. You work out the problems in your marriage with the person you are married to. Bringing another person into the relationship just makes things more complicated.
Yes he could have divulged that depression runs in his family, & it might have made a difference to the situation, but you can't go back & work on the past, only the present.
So she can either stay & work on the situation with her husband, or end the marriage, so that she can move into another relationship. The choice is hers.
2006-09-28 12:45:18 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not sure I read this one correctly, but as far as I can tell, your husband suffers from depression, never told you, and now you want to cheat on him because you found out.
WOW!
Am I missing something here? He failed to tell you about a very personal medical condition. Yeah, I guess you should go cheat and maybe make him suicidal too! (sense the sarcasm?)
Someone suffering from depression isn't good cause to cheat, if there is one. He may have been too embarrassed to tell you.
You need to stand by him, encourage him to seek medical attention, and help him through this.
2006-09-28 15:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by katleblancis 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a right to be upset, BUT not to cheat! You made a commitment although with a lie between you. You need to sit and discuss your concerns with him. Is he currently depressed, if so you shoudl help him through it . If you can't work things out you BREAK up/seperate waht ever before you go between the sheets with anybody else. Don't make the same mistake as him cheating is Lying you would truly be no better than him if you cheat.
2006-09-28 12:49:45 · answer #5 · answered by just wondering 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being upset for hiding something is understandable. However, depression needs medical attention to overcome. Not sure why cheating should be considered. People change, but looking for comfort outside of the relationship shows immaturity and selfishness. Get the guy to a doctor, get the girl to a counselor.
2006-09-28 12:37:58 · answer #6 · answered by Rich C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't really understand why he kept his depression a secret like that. There are treatments for depression which can handle it just fine. Maybe he didn't say anything because it wasn't worth mentioning. If its being treated it wouldn't be a problem that needed warning about.
2006-09-28 13:08:44 · answer #7 · answered by Strike2? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he kept it a secret on purpose, I would be very upset... but if he kept it a secret because he just neglected to tell it (due to not being severely depressed), then I wouldn't be very upset.
However... in the future, he might become severely depressed, so I would want to make sure he gets help from a doctor & help thru guidance/therapy (now)... because depression doesn't just affect him; it affects anybody who is connected to him.
2006-09-28 12:49:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cheating is honestly never the answer. If you are done with the old hubby trade him in that's fine but don't be a liar like him. Use the big D as in Divorce, then it wouldn't be cheating and you wouldn't have a question then would you. So I say Divorce then no guilt, have as many as you want.
2006-09-28 12:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would definately feel upset and have the right to be, but i dont think cheating is going to make the situation any better.If it bothered me that much and couldn't sort it out with my hubby, I would leave him and get on with my life because he lied to me I would find it difficult to trust him and have a right to be told the truth. If you cheat you are just as bad as he is.
2006-09-28 12:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by ~funkymonkey~ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he kept this secret to you maybe he has some reasons like he's afraid to lose you if you find out about his "issure" or maybe he doesn't want you to feel pity on him. ask the guy why he kept this as a secret. since he has an illness dont discourage him or dont neglect the problem. its normal to be upset you but it is your responsibilty as a wife and partner to help him in times of crisis. encourage him to verbalize his feelings because the person that he needed to help him the most is you.
2006-09-28 12:43:48 · answer #11 · answered by mae d 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋