what should i do????

Question

i just found out my friend is bisexual. hes not that old, only around 14 and he told the WHOLE class nd he doesnt really care. i no it doesnt change him as a person but, should i act differently around him?? or should i just act normally? nd if hes so young how does he no hes bisexual? cuz most ppl dont no until theyre older. if u dnt fully understand my question then just dont answer it bc I dnt even get this question that much.

ok, first of all, stop callin him gay, hes bisexual which means he likes BOTH. second, i dont think its sad. at least he nos who he is.

he rlly cant talk to any1 bout it except his friends bc he told his parents, they yelled at him and he went to his room crying bc they didnt except him for who he was.

Answer 1

It is not sad, it needs courage to admit what he is; it is nothing wrong been bisexual, or gay or straight, we are humans created by God and He is perfect, never ever do any thing wrong, so why anybody has to pick on him ahh?
Support and back him he is young and will need it.

Answer 2

What should "You" do. You are going into freind panic. This is common when you find out something you weren't expecting! You should not act differently around him but if you need time to think things through you should take it. If you need to talk with him one on one and communicate your worries for him you should do that. You are sounding a little discussed and confused and I'm worried that could affect your friendship if you don't communicate your feelings with someone. The thing is your friend hasn't changed, this is who he has always been, he's just telling you the whole story now. What can change is how you feel now that you know the whole story.

Many of us knew our level of gayness when we were young and some of us knew when we were older it is just how it goes. People are more aware of their dating options now then they ever were before so people are "coming out" at younger ages. And highschools are having to adjust to this.

There are some 1/2 decent books out there that you can read. You can borrow them from your library and hopefully you have access to a good library system? Here is one I really found helpful "Is It A Choice" By Eric Marcus.

PFLAG is extremely helpful. There is an agency near you. They are a group of volenteers who are there to help friends and families communicate while people are "coming out". It's a completely free service so don't be afraid to contact them via email or phone - don't worry they have heard it all. You are going to find the gay community very warm and nuturing to all whether gay or straight and they will help you through this, you are not alone.

Answer 3

You can still be a friend to someone but you don't have to accept wrong behavior. (love the person, hate the sin). You can be good for him, tell him that homosexuality or bisexuality is not good for him and it is wrong anyway. (Sex is for married people, and between a man and a woman). However, I'd not associate much with a friend who was going in the wrong direction, but he's young, so I think he needs guidance most of all, starting with his parents and maybe counseling. He may be wanting attention or sounds confused as to who he is. His thoughts, anyone at age 14, should be on school, family, God and church, and on friends and playing/building interests .. not on his sexual orientation, much less carrying that out in actions and words even. He needs to grow and mature a lot more before this should be taking importance in his life.

Answer 4

He is in for a rough ride. He made a brave or a stupid decision and now you need to be his friend more than anything else. I came out to a friend last night I am 40 I am now out 5 people in the real world. Coming out to a single person is very hard but it is also very controllable. Coming out to a whole class room has opened your friend up to a lot of abuse. Be his friend he will need you in the coming months. I don't advocate waiting till your 40 to come out but it is better to come out when you are on your own and not in an institutional environment where bigotry can be so easily encouraged by school staff and those around you.

Answer 5

I don't understand your grief.

First off, the fact that he has admitted to himself that he has tendencies to understand both sexual orientations is a good thing. Second, the fact that he sees himself as such and has accepted it, is a wonderful thing. Finally, for you to question whether or not you should remain his friend, well then dear-heart perhaps you should check your integrity

Personally, your asking this question only tells me you are more worried about your reputation than your friend's. Think about it dear, your friend needs YOUR support. I'm certain this is why he has 'outted' himself. Perhaps he could have warned you first, and then proceeded, but only he knows when a good time would be for him.

Best quess as to what to do is .. stay strong and don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck

Answer 6

My best friend told me he was gay when we were around 20,, now he was still married to my other friend and had a newborn. he told me he had known he was gay since middle school. I was a bit surprised at first. I had never really been around anyone of that sexual orientation before. But he was and still is my best friend, and what ever makes him happy is what I want for him. I would just act how you would normally act around him,,he is not any different then he was before he told the class.

Answer 7

Considering his age, he probably is acting out for attention. You should not act differantly towards him, either way if he is bi or acting out. Be his friend, but the fact that he runs around telling people w/ an attemtp to get reactions is an indication that something is going wrong. My guess is you already know about this and likely, considering he is 14, it is his home life.

But be his friend regardless of if he is bi or not...who really cares?

Answer 8

obviously you are young, and I can see why this would be confusing for you. Let me pose some questions to you:
Do you know that you are straight at 14 yrs old?
Would you be hurt if your friends treated you differently because of your sexual orientation?
Why would you treat him differently because of whom he wants to have relations with? Does it affect you in any way?

Yes, you should just act normally because if he is truly your friend it shouldnt matter who he wants to have sex with

And No, ppl dont wait until they are older to KNOW what they want, they wait because of fear of society norms and how they will be treated. I knew I was a lesbian at like 8 yrs old, but I waited until I was 25 to come out because of fear. Your friend is brave. Its not an easy thing to do.

Answer 9

Ignore what he has said, let it go, and continue on as you did before. I really don't think he knows what he has done to himself...he has set himself up to be picked on by everyone in his school. He will need his friends now, more so than ever. Very sad for what? And yes, he is old enough to know that he is Gay. Good luck

Answer 10

There was a story of a philosophy professor that went to a fancy party and spoke to a beautiful woman who was a model. He asked her if she would sleep with him for a million dollars. "Why, yes" she answered with a big smile. Then he asked if she would sleep with him for thirty dollars. Indignant now, the woman said, "What do you think I am, some cheap whore?" The professor then said, "We've determined what you are, I'm trying to determine your price."

Your friend is gay. His tastes aren't exclusively for men, but if he has once and willingly would again, then he is.