2006-09-28 04:52:47 · 13 answers · asked by rdelgado34 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it is a different reaction for each child that is touched by divorce. It would depend on the type of relationship the child has for each parent, the child's personality, and how the child reacts to stress.
To say the least it is and can be a very devastating change in their lives.....we as adults have the capability to adjust to change and to rationalize these types of situation, while children are much less equipped to handle all the emotions that come with this. And the residual that the parent(s) pass on to their child (not maliciously) effects them as well, children have a tendency to internalize these things.....they see mom and day fighting over money and they think 'gee if i wouldn't have wanted that toy then they wouldn't be fighting' it is wrong to place blame on the child, but they do not know any better. Please get the child (ren) counseling and go yourself so that you can help your child , and yourself through this process.
2006-09-28 05:14:26 · answer #1 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the divorce. If the parents both go about it in a civil way and don't put the children in the middle, it shouldn't be too difficult. I think it's when the parents are constantly arguing and fighting over every single issue that it makes it difficult.
I'm glad my parents divorced. My dad made the divorce hell though and he's still making things difficult for us. He's constantly using me to get information about my mom and our new family. I'm 24 and sometimes still have a hard time dealing with it, so I can just imagine what it could be like for children.
Either way, I don't think that parents should stay together for the kids. They are stronger then you think and if you stay together and are unhappy, the kids will be unhappy too.
2006-09-28 05:02:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on how you and your ex handle the situation. If its an ugly divorce it will be ugly on the kids. If you and your ex are able to sit down and talk about how to make this time as easy as possible, (because no matter what the kids will be hurt) then you may save them from bigger trust issues when they get older. Explain to them that you and your ex still love them and its not their fault. You both love them and care for them but this is the best thing for the family because mom and dad have tried everything else and this is the best thing for the two of you.
good luck.
2006-09-28 05:09:37 · answer #3 · answered by jenn j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that divorce is harder on kids than it is parents. The children will think it is their fault and then when it comes to choosing they feel torn between both parents. Usually the one parent will talk about the other parent and that really hurts the kids. They usually have to go to counseling after the divorce because the kids learn that they can't trust and the decision making becomes impaired. Sometimes they end up turning to drugs and alcohol and even sometimes gangs because they are looking for something that they have lost.
2006-09-28 05:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by lala_chic2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be smart & not selfish. It's a big deal - no matter how old the kids are. Be honest with your kids. Let th school know & the friends parents & other family know. Do not tune them out! Get more active with the kids (have one on one time with them) Keep an open communication line with them. Watch & listen to how they play & talk to. Get play therapy if need be. Been there - voice of a divorce. Good luck!
2006-09-28 05:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never good on anyone but the question is how is the marriage effecting the kids?
2006-09-29 06:44:09 · answer #6 · answered by homemakerhoney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't fight or argue with your spouse about your divorce.
if you can talk about the divorce like friends (which i know is hard) then do that. if the kids see that you can handle a divorce then they will feel that they can to.
if there are any issues you or your soon to be ex needs to talk about, do it alone. don't involve the kids in anything but friendly stuff.
let the kids know that the divorce has nothing to do with them. answer their questions in an age appropriate manner. be honest with them without attacking or degrading each other in front of them.
always let them know they are loved.
good luck.
2006-09-28 05:07:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In many ways!!
You both need to let the kid's know it's not their fault, and show them alot of love through this!!Get them in counseling if you notice any depression!
I would try anything I could before putting children through divorce!
2006-09-28 04:59:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at times
2006-09-28 04:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by 185 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends. If the divorce is amicable and dad is able to see kids whenever he can, than that can make things easier for them.
2006-09-28 05:06:46 · answer #10 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋