How can I tell my husband I don't like it when he...(graphic)?

Question

fingers my anus during oral and/or intercourse - I can't get into either now that I'm constantly worried he's going to invade me. I've mentioned that it's uncomfortable and that I bleed the next day - but it's like he doesn't hear me. I love him and don't want to hurt his feelings, but this has got to stop. How can I tell him, firmly yet with kindness, that I don't enjoy it - and make him hear me?
Serious answers only please.

Answer 1

Ofter we do to our partners what we secretly wish they would do to us. Try lubing(seems this is the step he forgets with you) up your finger and slid it into his rosebud when you are blowing him...if he likes it you might suggest he either use lots of lube before trying it on you again,,,and going slowwwwwwly...or just to respect that while it may be good for him, you just aren't into it. It may just be hard for him to understand that you don't like something that he enjoys. You could have him rim you instead...swirling the tongue around the opening back there,,,no penetration, no pain, and you might find that it's the allure of doing something somewhat "naughty" that really turns him on....plus all the nerve endings there make it quite pleasurable if you can do it.

Answer 2

Just tell him that it's not a good feeling when he messes with your anus and that it cause you to bleed etc. Tell him what the deal is I'm sure you won't hurt his feelings. In his mind he probably thinks that he's making you feel good by fingering your anus. Therefore you have to speak up and tell him the next time he tries it. Just say listen honey I love you and I enjoy our sex life but when you finger my anus it's not a comfortable feeling that I can say I enjoy it cause bleeding etc. Therefore I would appreciate it if you would not continue to do this. Nough said cause if you was doing something to him that didn't feel good and made his a#$ bleed he would tell you right away without thinking twice about it. Just tell him! Good Luck

Answer 3

The only way he will hear you is if you say it turns you off. Last thing a guy wants to do is turn you off. If he doesn't stop because he enjoys it too much then you have to stop having as much sex with him and when he asks why you tell him again. Then maybe it will finally sink in. What I would do is each time he does it reach down there and push his hand away.

Answer 4

Since mentioning to him that it's uncomfortable and causes you to bleed hasn't resulted in him stopping, you may need to take more drastic actions. More than likely he doesn't realize he's doing it when the oral/intercourse starts so crying, pushing or any other 'negative' reactions may help. Basically something to jar him out of the pleasure of having sex and teach him to focus on the fact he's hurting you.

Answer 5

Wow that is a touchy ( pardon the pun) subject. Is it stimulating for him or does he think that you enjoy it? So many men have no clue on what excites a woman. Now to be fair there are some that go the whole mile. So anyways I would have thought he would have picked up on the fact that it made you uncomfortable. Why don't you ask him if this excites him because if not it doesn't excite you. But be sure to soften things a little with but you drive me wild when .................fill in your own blank there.

Answer 6

Seriously now....
I too enjoy doing this to my partner. But she feels the same way....might help if he trims his finger nails....and if you'd relax a little....

But if you simply do not enjoy it, try telling him just as youve told us. While us men's psyche's may be a bit fragile, he wont fall apart if you tell him thqat you simply do not enjoy the feeling...dont beat around the bush - just flat out say that it hurts and he needs to stop.

On the other hand, if you have done this and it isnt working and he isnt listening, do the same thing to him. thats right. Jam your finger in his azz and see if he enjoys it. Make sure your fingernails are nice and sharp too....taught me a lesson! YIKES!!

Answer 7

Just tell him, very firmly, and with conviction, that you really do not like it, it makes you uncomfortable/hurts you, and to please stop. Tell him that it is not a turn on at all, and you are very sorry, but perhaps you could think of something that you both enjoy doing as a substitute?

Answer 8

I know what you are saying. I have that problem. He thinks I should like it. But I dont

I think he gets on-line and reads about all the stuff people like. I have tried to tell him, not all women are the same. Its alot easier to get off a guy, then women.

But he dont hear me. I stopped having sex for awhile and just doing other things. But of course that does not work.

Try explaining that all women are different. well actually men are too. Some people like this....some people like that.....
Tell him what you like.

And if he dont listen slap him a few times (lol) just kiddening

Let me know if you get him to listen. I am still working on it

Answer 9

Does he like it when you do it to him? If not pay back! If so well you'll just need sit him down, (not right before you have sex) and tell him exactly how it feels and if he tries it again then just get up put on your clothes and tell him "You did this yourself" He'll learn, if he wants any anyway. My hubby used to do the same thing and I got sick of it also and guess what it worked, he now doesn't go there♥ Good Luck!

Answer 10

stop having sex with him.. then he will hear you. If I have that problem... which i kinda do.. I just stop him. Keep stopping him if you have to. if you doesnt get it.. then stop him all together... tell him you dont want to have sex right now... and hopefully he gets it. Another Idea.... try to tell him that you dont like it when you are not in the act of having sex. Men tend to not listen or even think but with ONE THING.. So sit down and have a serious conversation about it. I hope he listens to you...