Talk to me about this great obsession with porn. What is it exactly that allows you to look the love of your life in the eyes and tell you they are madly in love with you...only to be on the computer an hour later looking at porn? Is it really and truly something seperate from your partner? i mean, do you guys compare us to the porn stars..or wish that's what you had instead....give me any thoughts and input...thank you (do you still love us the same?)
2006-09-28 04:51:30 · 14 answers · asked by justpeachy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
porn is just away to escape the endless nagging of women.
2006-09-28 04:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For men, love and attraction are separate things: we can love someone we aren't attracted to, and be attracted to someone we don't love. That is the first thing to get firmly planted in your brain, because everything else hinges on it, even though it is common sense, a lot of women seem to have difficulty with that.
Now, do we compare you to the porn stars: not consiously. We think of you with totally different parts of the brain. We think of the porn star with the part of our brain that wants to treat women the same way we treat a prized possession, but we think of you with the part of our brain that wants to be loved. That said, there is usually some unconsious comparision that goes on. Sometimes we want to be able to think of you with the part of our brain that wants to treat you like an object... and then it's you vs. them. But you have an advantage, you've already won the part of our brain that never gets shut off and isn't exausted once we've "finished." With them, the euphoria has an end at the moment of release, and then we're left with this dirty rag, but with you, we're done, and the good feeling keeps going, so even if she's got a better body or eyes or hair or does something freaky you never would, you've still got an advantage.
Think of it like food: you look at a McDonald's Big Mac, and it's got perfectly set burgers, buns, letace, and tommato, and looks pretty good, and it hits the spot when you're really hungry. But then there's T-bone, grade A steak, which really isn't much to look at (I mean, it's just brown) but put those two down in front of me, and I'll take the T-bone over the burger anyday. When we get a sniff of the burger and say, "Mmm, that smells good," that doesn't mean we want it over the steak. When we look at the burger and admit it is more photogenic, we don't want it over the steak. When we eat a burger because we can't afford steak, we'd still rather have steak. And when someone says, "You have to choose, one burger every day, or a steak every week, but not both" you better bet I'm not going to go to McDonald's.
2006-09-28 05:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is completely separate. We, men, tend to be visual creatures. It's more about masturbation than anything. I don't think most men can diddle themselves without the aid of pictures, but maybe I'm wrong about that. Pornography only aids in the process of masturbation. Sure there's a fantasy element, but I don't want to swap my partner for someone in the magazines or on the internet. Yes, we still love you the same. It's simply a release of pressure and porn sure does beat some of the other alternatives. (no pun intended)
2006-09-28 04:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by fnage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be any number of reasons. Likely because guys are visually stimulated. How do you look, if you are chopped and fat then it is totally understandable why a guy would want to watch porn so he could visualize someone other than you while having sex with you. Guys are always turned on. and porn is just fantasy. You too must have fantasies but they probably aren't focused around sex.
2006-09-28 05:01:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off i dont do the porn thing,real men dont need porn,they make it with the one they love..maybe you should sit down with him and ask while you both look at it..tell him you would like to see some of the guy action goin on in there and want him to share this with you as a couple..maybe that will work..if not throw the computer out the door,lol..good luck alann
2006-09-28 05:04:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell me about this great obsession with shoes. What is it exactly that allows you women to look at shoes and think you need more even when you have 28 pair in your closet? What allows you to look into your partner's eye and really suggest that you have all you need with him, yet you need another pair of shoes?
Men are visual. We look at variety. A wise one once said, "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home."
2006-09-28 05:09:45 · answer #6 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn stars are the type of woman you want to sleep with, not marry, nobody wants to buy the village bicycle. You love and respect your wife no one respects and loves porn stars. It is completely seperate.
2006-09-28 04:56:45 · answer #7 · answered by Mr K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
to men, they are completely separate. I think you're trying to compare them side by side.....don't assume that there's something wrong with you. For me, my sex drive is way higher than my wife's. Nothing I can do about that and it doesn't mean that I love her any less.
Just make sure it's not out of control and you should be able to talk with your husband about it. Understand the motivation, and you'll see if there's a problem.
2006-09-28 05:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by bardstale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To most of us men, sex and love are two different things. Porn is sex, not love. You and partner should set up a camera, and film yourselves, then the 'pornstar' he is watching is you: the woman he loves. You can also watch one with him and experiment with eachother. Finally, yes we do love you same.
2006-09-28 05:02:44 · answer #9 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 11:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by cosco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that men are much different from women, in the way we look at things. Women are mentally aroused whereas men are visually aroused. We love our wifes and girlfriends respectively, but we all have fantasies. Sometimes other women are involved, sometimes not. Do you not fantasize? I suggest loosing upand let him have his fanatasies and as long as he says he loves you.
He does.
2006-09-28 05:18:52 · answer #11 · answered by Highbeam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋