okay... my fiance and I have an amazing realtionship. Everything about it is perfect...except one thing. Rationally I know that men look at porn, and it has nothing to do with their partner. But on a day to day basis, I find myslef worried sick that he is looking at porn and getting himself off to the images of other women. I want to fix the problem in me, but I can seem to.... How do i fix myself??Do you think counseling would help me ?
2006-09-28 04:40:35 · 12 answers · asked by justpeachy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He looks at porn about 3 nights a week...
2006-09-28 04:41:09 · update #1
The problem is not you dear, the problem is him looking at the porn... You do not need the counseling, he might though. If you are not enough for him now, three or five years down the road, what will it take?
2006-09-28 04:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't understand why women think that it should be okay for a man to look at porn while hes married. It is not right or normal. We as women are expected to except it. No No No
Tell him you don't except that he looks at other women online. Of course they say its not about you. Its not cheating but in reality I think its not being loyal to your partner. Its like saying your not enough for me. This is not your problem and don't think it is. Its his. If this upsets you then tell him right away and tell him you will not tolerate it. This will only damage your relationship in the future. If he can't stop then he has got a really serious problem and needs counseling. You don't need to fix yourself. You are fine how you are. Do not think its you. That's the problem with porn. It lowers a womens self esteem and makes the man in charge of the way you feel. Stand up for yourself and the way you feel. Good Luck be strong.
2006-09-28 13:14:56 · answer #2 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you do not need counselling. Personally, when my man USED to look at porn it made me feel like I wasn't good enough, and got really self concious. Talk to him about it, and how it makes you feel. Tell him that you want him to take naughty pictures of you, doing anything he wants so he can use those. Maybe he's bored with your sex life, that's a common reason for why men look at porn. Spice things up, having him wondering what you'll do next. Make home made porn, bring anything your willing try try into the bedroom that you already haven't, be open to his suggestions as well. But make it clear that you don't appreciate him wacking it to other women. Those are someone else's daughters, neices, grand daughters, girlfriends, ect.
2006-09-28 11:49:52 · answer #3 · answered by MaNdYb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did the same thing right after I got married. Always worrying if he was looking at porn but you know what I finally realized that if that is what he does to make himself feel better than whatever but just let him know that you may look at porn to and when he does look at porn and you know he is I would not give him none that night. That way you know that when you guys are getting it on he is not being turned on by that certain thing that he saw. I have to say though that sometimes men learn good things by seeing porn. I know my husband sure knows how to pleasure me. I think that you are going though something that all woman go through that don't like porn. Don't worry about it and he will one day go half blind and then won't know the difference between up and down on your body.!!!
2006-09-28 11:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by lala_chic2003 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try this:
When you know he is coming home, turn the porn on yourself! Get into it with him for a while, he may soon see that he needs you more than the porn and the next time he goes to watch it by himself he will think of you and wait!
I don't think you need counseling for that, just a little imagination!
Good luck, let me know how if you tried that and how it works out!
2006-09-28 11:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by madamjenn40 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him your concerns first. Then you can suggest going to SA meetings and let him know how much it would mean to you to give up the porn and seek the help that they have.
2006-09-28 11:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by Paka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him no good to watch porn, no good to health, porn addcition is even worse.
You can install NetDog Porn Filter on his computer, that will block porn sites automatically when he's on the internet.
http://www.NetDogSoft.com
2006-09-29 00:03:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch it with him, that way it will be a couple thing and you will understand why he looks at it and will be ok with it.
2006-09-28 11:46:21 · answer #8 · answered by Andy S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have to ask then YES!! by all means seek professional help FAST!
2006-09-28 11:45:39 · answer #9 · answered by lil redneck 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let him look at it, at least he's not spending money on prostitutes and cheating...
2006-09-28 11:44:56 · answer #10 · answered by Ladeebug71 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋