I'm an african american woman who is extremely feminine, so when people find out that i'm a lesbian they're jaws drop and they say "But you're so girly!" I swear i've heard it at least 100 times. And it kinda bothers me that so many people think all lesbian women have to be non-feminine burly women. My girlfriend is a stud (the black version of butch, for those of u who didnt kno) and NObody is shocked that she's gay. They all expect it. But then I wonder, what if she wasnt gay? What if she's just comfortable dressing like a tomboy? So are labels working, are they any good, are they necessary, do they mean ANYthing??
2006-09-28 04:14:28 · 10 answers · asked by Raynebow_Diva 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm also gay - and people are always surprised when they find out.
I think labels are useless. They serve no purpose...and usually are only used to express some kind of judgement (either pro or con).
I've known feminine lesbians who have a core of iron - and I've known masculine gays who are really sissies at heart. LOL
I get tired of all the labeling in ALL aspects of life, not just gay life. It's stifling and it creates borders.
2006-09-28 04:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by tristanrobin 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think that labeling ourselves is a way for people in the striaght community to feel comfortable with homosexuality. It is not necessary for black butch women to call each other "studs" nor is it necessary for girly women to be calle "fems" but I really feel that straight people find it easier to accept us if they can put some kind of expectation of the way we look and act on us. We are all individuals and shouldnt have to take a label.
2006-09-28 05:10:41 · answer #2 · answered by arielsalom33 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are two types of labels: ones you subscribe to, and ones others pin on you.
There's nothing wrong with using labels to describe yourself. It's your choice and you know what and who you are.
But, when others put the labels on you, they're almost always wrong. And, it's insulting when someone thinks they know you better than yourself. Not only that, but most racist and bigoted people use derogatory labels which are meant to hurt and embarass. Those are the worst kind.
Too many people see the word "label" and knee-jerk react in a negative way. Just realize there's a positve and negative use for them. You can't fault people for innocently using labels, but you can't allow others to use them to define you.
Update:
By the way, if I try to come up with a label for myself it happens to be rather difficult. gay / tg / bi / wierdo / cuckold / sexually confused / gender confused.
None describe me very well. People do have a tendency to self-organize into groups, but when you feel that you're in between the groups, you have a hard time deciding which one you belong to. I guess that's time to form a new group (label).
That really only demonstrates that we're unique but the same. It's a paradox.
2006-09-28 04:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by it 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well that seems like a great observation. I'm not gay. My best friend is not gay but indeed a tomboy and she enjoys dressing comfortably (sometimes I consider it to be "boyish"). The lables I don't feel are necessary. They seem to cause more of a stereotype. That's just my opinion.
2006-09-28 04:25:07 · answer #4 · answered by CuriousGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those labels have been around for years and I have noticed that they can be confining. I started out as a butch, then dike, then mini-butch, then I said nuts to all that crap and just became me, myself , and I.
I have a wide range of clothing types in my closet and most reflect me as a woman.
No more labels for me nor trying to look and act like a guy.
I am a woman who loves women and that is my 2 cents.
2006-09-28 04:23:24 · answer #5 · answered by dragon 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Labels will be around till man and women die. It is just the opinion of difference with various meanings. You should embrace who you are and be happy for the title. It is the diesel dike that would offend me. LOL
2006-09-28 04:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by Karrien Sim Peters 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Labels are for the lazy! And the predictable!
2006-09-28 06:14:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
labeling is part of the human condition - good, bad, and ugly
2006-09-28 04:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Alex62 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is all about stereotypes nothing more or less
i am a pretty big guy and when i tell people i am gay they can't beleave it either
2006-09-28 04:24:09 · answer #9 · answered by eat it then die 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seams to be something the democrates love to do, they are the lords of the label
2006-09-28 04:16:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋