How to raise "self-esteem"?

Question

From 1 to 10, I would rate my self-esteem a 4.
Lets say it's hard for me letting go of someone I love, but hurts my feelings or afraid of getting a new job and shy of public speaking. Would you call that having a low self-esteem? If so, how can I make myself feels better about myself?

Answer 1

educate yourself , breath deep , and always remember that you are the only one in control of your future. good hygiene and nice apparel helps as well ..

Answer 2

Yes I see symptoms of low self-esteem.

First of all I have to say this... Our mate should ADD to our life, not BE our life. So if you are seeking happiness in someone else then you’re not ready for a relationship.

Work on yourself first, it only makes sense that if we can't be happy with ourselves then how can anyone else be happy with us?

Do some self-evaluating and figure out where you can improve yourself. We can all improve ourselves in one-way or the other. Look at your job, is this the career you always wanted? Are you happy with this job? If the answer is no try going back to school to improve your ability to change careers.

If you are happy with your job then maybe take on something new like a new hobby or volunteer work. Something that will bring a positive addition to your life can only have positive results.

Maybe you could try a public speaking class. It takes practice to get better at something. I love public speaking but still get sooo nervous when I have to. I was always the kid that skipped school when it was time to do anything that required that I stand in front of the class. Now I am in college and looking forward to every presentation I have to give... even though I still get very nervous about it. But the more prepared you are the easier it is.

It's hard to know how to tell someone how they can improve their life when you have no idea what their life is like. If there is any drugs or alcohol in your life the first thing you need to do is eliminate it from your life. Drugs and alcohol can create depression and worse. Over time it changes how your brain sends signals to other areas of your brain. Can even influence how your body absorbs your food. Drugs and alcohol can never be a positive factor in someone’s life.

Just do self-evaluation and if you are honest with yourself you will find areas that need improvement. If you have a hard time with this by yourself then seek counseling. Friends and family will be too biased with their opinions.

Answer 3

Probably the best way to raise your self esteem is to accomplish things. Self esteem is not something you can rely on anyone else for. No one else wants the job.

It may be hard to get the ball rolling, but it can be done. Sign yourself up for something new and cool, like Yoga, Pilates, Martial Arts, Kickboxing, or Salsa Dancing. Class times and paying for it yourself should hold you to it.

It sounds dumb, I know, but the point is to try something new. You will not be an immediate expert, but neither will anyone else in the class. Then, you do it until you get good at it.

One accomplishment builds up motivation to tackle another. With each accomplishment, you build self esteem.
This makes it easier and less scary to do things, like get a new job, speak in public, etc. Plus, it makes you more interesting.

Also, remember that your feelings are your responsibility. if someone calls you a name, you can take it as a personal attack or decide that they must be feeling bad about themselves and need some company being miserable. Choose not to be a professional victim.

If I could tell you a couple of things that might change your perspective, I would tell you :
1- problems are opportunities in disguise. they are challenges to overcome, learn, and improve. accept this challenge.
2-change "I can't" to "I am not willing to". realize that it's your choice.
3-mistakes are merely ways to find out what doesn't work. they do not detract from your quality as a human being. mistakes can give you wisdom. don't be afraid to make them.

Everyone has social anxiety to some degree or other. We all want the approval of others, just some need it more than others to be ok with themselves. Don't let that be you.

Making friends involves putting your fears and doubts about yourself on the back burner, and quit making it all about you. Focus your energy on others. Notice things they do and ways they want to be noticed. Compliments not only build rapport, but show your interest, respect, and selflessness. Asking other people questions about themselves/what they think about topics/ what they would do in situations, shows them that you are interested in them and not unfriendly or standoffish.

Shy people often are misunderstood as stuck up or unfriendly, because they hide behind their anxiety, they make everything about themselves. They are really just scared and intimidated.
By forcing yourself to make it all about others, you forget about your anxiety and look like an extrovert. You decide to be the hero, break the ice, and put others at ease.

You can easily make someone's day by noticing their good qualities and making a positive observation, or a compliment. Always follow up with a question. "Great outfit! Where do you shop?" How good would that feel to make someone's day?

You will notice yourself feeling more welcome and popular when you make the effort to inspire others to feel noticed and feel good about themselves. When people feel good around you, they will want you around.

Remember the 'hot buttons'. These are feelings we all want. Say things that touch on them when socializing.

Hot button list:
The feeling of being appreciated, admired, desired, respected, acknowledged, recognition, listened to, validated, cared about, skilled, special, saught after, unique, intelligent, clever, powerful, sexy, attractive, popular, etc.

You can do this. You have gotten some valuable feedback from various respondants. You have several things you can try. We all do the best we can with what we know. Now you know more, so you can do better. I am sure you will be all right.

Answer 4

Stand in front of the mirror,look yourself in the eye and if you are happy with who you see then pat yourself on the back and move on.Always consider the source of the negativity present in your life.No one can see light if they never experience darkness.We all have to be broken before we can fix ourselves into who we become or are born to be.If you're a pleaser then start with yourself.I know it's much easier said then done but nothing worthwhile is easy.All said and done,it will be what you want it to be-just depends on an individuals breaking point.Excessive passiveness is poison.Everyone and everything has worth-just like one mans junk is another mans treasure.As for the relationship part-I can totally relate.It's taken five years and my heart still skips a thousand beats.I love this person so much but after the uncountable drug and alcohol binges-unaccountable slutiness,bellyaching,depression and emotional suicides and all that crap-life does suddenly turn around.You don't forget but somehow one day you do get a second wind to go on .Take care my friend in time life will put a smile on your face.TIME!!!!!!!!!![e-mail]

Answer 5

In a manner of speaking, you could say that you may have low self-esteem. Maybe also low self-confidence. But you know, many many people are terrified of public speaking. I used to be afraid of it, too! You can defeat those fears. I promise you.

Do you know how you get good at anything? In a word- PRACTICE. If you want to play a musical instrument well- PRACTICE. If you want to do well at a job- it takes practice. If you take a college course in public speaking, it might help you. Also, you can just practice by yourself, speaking in front of a mirror!

It's hard for everyone letting a loved on go. That is a universal truth. You are not alone in your fears.

I am also shy, get my feelings hurt easily, and I USED to be afraid of public speaking. But I have been in school for a long time. I took two years of college, and I am also in business school now. I have taken several classes that have demanded that I engage in the activity of practicing public debates, speeches, etc. in front of a group of people. There are also a lot of self-help books that you can read to improve your self esteem.

Self esteem is very complicated. It is not easy to raise low self esteem- and it takes hard work, effort, and time. It helps to be very dedicated. But you can do it!

A lot of doctors and self-help books say to use positive self-talk to help improve one's self esteem. For example, you just think positive thoughts to yourself, as opposed to negative ones. Instead of thinking "I am not smart enough"- say to yourself "I am intelligent". Eventually, if you hear it often enough, you will begin to believe yourself. It can help a lot. Or, if you feel afraid, say "I feel confident". It's okay to be afraid, my dear friend. But you know what, there is nothing for you to really be afraid of. Think about this- what's the worst thing that can possibly happen to you? No one can take away your soul, or your mind, or your heart. Those things belong to you! The very worst thing that could possibly happen to you is that you would face the end of your life- but even that is not a negative thing. I mean, if you believe in and love God and Jesus, then you will be in heaven after this life is no more. So, you see, there is no reason to be afraid. You are a man, and you have strengths. You can use these strengths to make positive things happen to you in your life. Most people live long lives, anyway. You can be brave. I sense that there is a lot of strength in you. You just don't know it yet!

Also, your self-esteem can improve if you volunteer to help others, or if you have a fun hobby, and if you work. You can't get real self-esteem from the outside. It's something inside of you.

For me personally, going to school has really helped my self-esteem tremendously. I feel smarter, stronger, and more confident now. This might work for you, too. But there are many ways that you can lift your self esteem. Mostly, it comes from serving God and serving your fellow man. If you feel useful, and like you are making a positive difference in society, it will really boost your self esteem.

So stay busy doing positive things. Sometimes, exercise can help self esteem. Join a book reading club, or play a sport that you enjoy. Join a group where you feel accepted. Other people can help you feel better about yourself- but ultimately, you have to develop self esteem. That is why it's called 'self' esteem- it derives from inside of your own heart, soul, and mind.

Good luck my man!

Answer 6

i think low self-esteem is when people make fun of you then you get shy around people and you can't accept yourself or something like that.

but if you have low self-esteem, just ignore those people who are making fun of you and learn how to accept yourself. they make fun of you because they can't believe that they have worse flaws than you.

just be yourself and breath deeply before a speech or presentation. wait, here's a famous saying by someone famous: "train yourself to let go of the things you fear to lose" - Master Yoda, Star Wars episode 3.

hope that helped.(=

Answer 7

its not low self esteem.. its a pitty party and that gets old..

by taking your focus off of what you see as the problem and directing that energy into something productive you can "get out out of the dumps"

seems like you had all of your self worth wrapped up in what one person thought about you..

Answer 8

all sounds perfectly normal to me.

dont beat yourself up about it.

Answer 9

doctors have great meds for exactly that, it could help