Why some foreign men marry japanese women, bring them to USA and not help introduce them into society?

Question

I have a friend(in her 50's) japanese woman i met in chat. She got married with an american. and now they live in the usa. She's having such a hard time. The town is kind of the country side, there's no japanese community, she doesn't know english. Husband doesn't teach her. He doesn't attempt to learn japanese. husband doesn't give her rides .. she doesn't know how to use the Bus system in the usa . She often cries because she feels in a strange land without help. I don't understand how people get into this kind of relationships.

Answer 1

some men are attracted to asians but are not capable of appreciating their full value. they just want to have one to keep for themselves as sort of a slave. it is sick.
the asian women have to be careful who they hook up with.
I am sure there is a socail club or service for them in this situation. the internet would be a good thing for her to learn to use so she can kekep in touch with her kin and her kind for moral support and help in improving her situation. she must walk or beg a ride to a library as he will probably not encourage her or get her a computer. It is up to her to correct her mistake. maybe divorce and go back home.

Answer 2

I understand that you are asking about the different attitude of Egyptian men when married to a foreign woman than when married to an Egyptian and not about WHY they marry foreign women, so here's my answer: I have noticed the same thing too and I'm not talking about expressing their affection in public, I am talking about a different attitude even at home. When Egyptian men are married to a foreign woman they usually, willingly and happily, help at home, wash dishes, are understanding, caring and loving, help with the kids etc etc and I have seen it on several occasions , whether the couple live inside or outside Egypt. Yet there is sort of a different pattern to their attitude when they are married to an Egyptian woman. The man expects to have a clean house, a nicely cooked meal on time, a perfect mom and a beautiful wife in return for providing the monthly income even if the wife works too (it's the wife's chores as they say). Egyptian men in this case may offer help, but only to their convenience and not because they feel it's part of their responsibilities. I can only offer theories as to why this could be. Maybe foreign women are not as submissive as Egyptians due to cultural reasons, while the Egyptian women were raised in a culture that was ready for women to work but not ready for men to share house duties, so they basically do not object when they see this attitude and if they do, men don't take it seriously because they know their backgrounds only too well. The second theory is simply because men who consider marrying a foreign woman simply are different in character. They may be a bit more open minded and they do expect cultural differences and understand that they have to try to close the cultural gaps and different points of view with their wives!

Answer 3

I'm very sorry for your friend, but I am also surprised that she didn't bother to learn more about where her husband lived or to think about what life might be like there.

How do she and her husband communicate if she doesn't know English and he doesn't attempt to learn Japanese? She needs to find a way to communicate with him about what she needs: English classes, to learn the public tranportation system in her area (or to learn how to drive herself), and whatever else she needs.

Her husband needs to be more supportive, also, but he probably doesn't know/understand what she needs to get oriented to her new community and her new country. He is probably not an expert.

There are people who would be glad to help her. Perhaps there is some kind of immigrant service in her community? They might not speak Japanese, but they would know how she could connect with English classes.

It must be difficult to start all over again in new country, but the sooner can start making connections with other people, the sooner she will feel not so alone.

Answer 4

These men apparently marry these Japanese women and don't teach them English because they don't want the women to become Americanized. If they wanted an American wife, I would expect that they would have married an American wife and not a Japanese one.

Answer 5

That's not too cool that he won't give her rides. But the answer to the bus question is just get on the bus. Sometimes she'll get on the wrong bus. Sometimes she'll get on the right bus, but go in the wrong direction. Sometimes she'll get on the right bus going in the right direction, but get off at the wrong stop. I did all of those things while figuring out the bus system in China.

But you weren't really asking how to ride a bus, were you? Since none of us know the foreign man in question, we can only guess (since it's impossible to make any generalization about all foreign men.)

Guess 1: Americans value independence and expects his wife to take more initiative on her own.

Guess 2: He's just not that nice of a guy.

Answer 6

I can not help her but maybe you can! If you are chatting with her you must speak Japanese would it help if you e-mailed her a simple list of American sayings with Japanese translations for her to use with the neighbors and for using the bus. That way she could point and it might help. Just a thought.

Answer 7

To keep her under control. In Japan it is normal for the man to be the head of the household. For an older woman this is more so than younger women. He knew what he wanted when he went to Japan to find a wife, a live in maid, cook and bed partner. He now has what he wants. By showing her the American way, he risk losing her. He risk her seeing there is another way to live.

Answer 8

First of all, Japan is a very high-tech society and they have buses that run on time, are clean with friendly staff. Japanese learn English as a second language, so I have suspicions whether your friend in chat is really Japanese. Have you met her? Don't think so.

Answer 9

Of course he's not going to teach her English. Why? He's got exactly what he wants. He's probably some ugly loser who couldn't get an American woman. She just wanted to come to the United States. I think it's pathetic. She needs to get the hell away from him.

Answer 10

So, one asshole does this and how does this apply to the thousands of other men that DON'T do as you accuse them of? Maybe someone needs to have a little talk with the man you're speaking of.