Boyfriend of nearly 7 years made female friend about a year ago! When she met him she tried chattin him up but he says nothing happened. She has been txtin him since that time and calls him nicknames like 'baby boy' sumtimes! She clearly likes him - he says he's not interested but i just found out that he never even told her that he has a gf. He says he doesn't want her to kno anything about him. (before he told me that he had said he has a gf but that she knos nothing about me) I notice they share lots of jokes and seem to hav a lot in common & i don't kno if they meet up as i don't live with my bf. She even tells him she misses him sometimes. We've fought about it any times cos it really upsets me. He makes me feel like i'm over reacting but i can't shake feeling summit happened between them, i met him once when she was around and he acted really weird towards me, b4 i met him when i rang him he said he didn't kno where he was & then i came across them & another male friend on street
2006-09-28 02:53:37 · 9 answers · asked by suspicious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would say it all boils down to TRUST, do you trust him enough to be with him, and is he completely honest. You have a hard decision to make here, love hurts. But you should be his number one friend if anything. You should come first before any other women. Period!!!!
2006-09-28 02:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is definitely a suspicious situation and your gut is telling you something you don't want to acknowledge. He shouldn't be making close friends with other women, as he has YOU, unless you are a welcome part of the friendship and there are no apparent secrets. He is not being fair with you or considering your relationship together, in fact he is downright disrespecting you. I've been in a similar situation in the past and it was very confusing for me because I didn't want to listen to my gut. I ended up with TWO incurable STDs that I will now have forever. I still stuck it out with him for nearly 5 years, convincing myself that perhaps I had been carrying those diseases for a while and just didn't know it, although that really didn't make any sense, especially when my gut was telling me otherwise. Last year, I finally had enough. I heard he was seeing someone else behind my back, and things were really pointing that way even though he wasn't admitting it, and I decided it was over. Really, it was over long before, but I was holding on out of a twisted need that I mistook for love. Now that my thoughts are clear (it took a couple months as i began to "see the light") I would NEVER let myself get back into something like that again. You deserve more respect and consideration than what your BF is giving you. You're not even getting the basic requirements of a decent relationship if there are unanswered questions and doubts and gray areas (as opposed to black and white). The communication between you is isn't right. I myself would put my foot down. I'd tell him I need a break and then do my own thing for a while, take some time to figure out what's right and wrong for ME in MY life. Today I have a great BF who treats me like an equal partner. We've been together about 11 months now and still going great. You can have something good too, even if it can't be with the guy you're dating now. Listen to your gut, not your insecurities (or his).
2006-09-28 10:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a quote but I don't know who is the author and it says: "Don't run after the butterflies but take care of your garden and they will come to you"
What I mean is.. take a good care of yourself, be happy! Do everything to be more beautiful and interesting but don't show that you are doing it to prrove that you are better than the other girl or he will notice that you are doing that to keep his atttention. Do that for yourself! Do something interesting and look busy. And what about having an admirer? ;) A friend who is always calling you and showing his friendship...like that girl with him! :D
I know it is so dificult with people like us - i would be jealous as well :) - but the truth is when we don't care much about if a guy will be with us or not and we live our lives, guys always think "wow! if i desapear she will not notice!" Ya, is true! When they feel that, they want to keep the girl cause what they like is to be on command or any situation. They are so proud!!
Don't say anything else to him and if u know something about her try to say in a subtle way that it is so useless! But don't say that being angry..but like being surprised ;) If we make the guy thinks that the other girl is ridiculous he will leave her..but don't try it many times everyday...say that and later do your things like you are not worried about that!
And really do something you like to do and be really busy with that..maybe you can find other guys who can massage your ego! We need that!
Well..anyways..I'm not young anymore and I've learned that the best is leave guys free and be free as well..There's a lot of guys everywhere and maybe you are just worried about this one cause u are a possessive person (like me!) and when he starting to give his full attention you will be like.."errr..do i really love him??"
I don't know why he talks about her with you..maybe to make u jeaulous and keep your attention..don't give him this victory..ever!!
I hope to have helped you!
Good luck :)
2006-09-28 10:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by Taz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, don't take that. If he refuses to tell this chick he has a girl and he's known her for this long.. Hell, even if she was a new friend- if he's not proud to have you as his and won't show you off to people, then he's not worth it.
Generally, in longer relationships like that it's hard to keep a guys interest. Sad, but true.
To get to the point, you need to dump this wanker and find a better guy who'll show you off like you're a trophey.
2006-09-28 09:59:55 · answer #4 · answered by Hiroko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the only thing that can come out of him having a "girl" firned is bad, especially if you can tell she likes him, do you trust him? ANd whats the deal with him not telling her he has a girlfriend, sounds like hes trying to play both sides of the fence if you know what i mean..... You need to have a talk, not fight with him about it, let him know your concerns and talk about it like adults, if he gets defensive thats a bad sign something is going on between them....
2006-09-28 09:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by Brandie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your gut feeling is almost always right. If you feel uncomfortable with the situation, its because he has chosen to make you feel awkward instead of at ease. He makes you feel like you are overreacting, but you are not. He is the one acting out of line. Go with your gut. He shouldn't be leading this girl on, and he is, because he knows she likes him, and he continues to talk/flirt with her, without thinking of your feelings. Good Luck.
2006-09-28 09:59:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to burst your bubble, sweetums.
This guy is two-timing you and you are in second place.
I am sorry that you wasted seven yers on him.
I still can't understand how a guy can jerk a woman around so badly, and she refuses to see what is going on.
If this guy ever gets married, I'll bet that he will cheat on his wife constantly.
2006-09-28 10:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by GreenHornet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, wait, lemme get this right: YOUR man is talking to a girl ? Oh no. leave him. theres no reason NONE he should be with her friends or not.
2006-09-28 09:59:38 · answer #8 · answered by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he is up to no good. Go with your gut instincts, you know what to do. The question is : will you do it??
2006-09-28 09:57:53 · answer #9 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋