We were together for 11 and married for 7. We had our first of 3 kids when we were 17. Our other 2 kids came after we got married at 20. I was certin that she was "the one" and at one time she was certin I was too. Being out of the loop so long I just dont know where or when to begin looking for someone else. Right now my children are my main focus, but at some time I think that I should start looking for someone.
2006-09-28 02:41:13 · 19 answers · asked by hrtizbrkn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have you started ‘dating’ yet?
What’s keeping you ???
Am I right to assume you are divorced?
If the divorce hasn’t gone through as yet, you perhaps should wait until you are actually divorced.
I can only really suggest that if you are certain in your own heart that you don’t want to get back with your ex, then you shouldn’t put a time limit on finding your future happiness.
Don’t be in a rush to get married again, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying female company.
Perhaps there are some social groups that you can frequent and perhaps see just what is available in the way of unattached female company.
Good luck to you !!!
2006-09-28 02:43:34 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that things did not work out for you. The problem is that your ex was not all that concerned about her children (BASED ON HER BEHAVIOR). The kids really need you. Remarrying for you will open another can of worms. I am a woman and I hate to admit but there are not that many women out there that can take on rearing someone else's kids. Oh they say they can but in the end they are jealous and show partiality to wards their own kids. That means that if you would get involved would you want your children to go thru that at your house when they already have that situation with Mom.
U are a man with needs and I understand all of that. Perhaps a friend with the same or similar circumstances that you could date when your children are not around. Believe me I am not suggesting that you become a monk. I am however suggesting that in the best interest of the kids hold off on any serious relationships until they are grown and on their own.
2006-09-28 02:50:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bummer! Emotional and physical cheating destroys a relationship and also does quite a number on your self-esteem. Been there!
Take time for yourself. Relax, enjoy life, get rid of your anger and pain (even if you don't admit you have either, you do).
Then, when you are ready, go out on a few casual dates just to get back in the swing of things. I think that the worst thing a person can do after a broken relationship is jump right into a new relationship. When the time is right for that, you'll know it.
And enjoy your children :-)
2006-09-28 02:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate, coming out of a 13 year realationship and 7 year marriage, but I honestly don't think there is any time limit or boundry on that. I think maybe u should try hanging out with some of your guy friends, watch a game, shoot some hoops, go to a bar, whatever your scene may be. Your heart will let u know when enough is enough and time to move on. Good Luck.
2006-09-28 02:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by becky w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one that knows that. The same thing happen to the guy I'm with now. He didn't wait to long probably a couple of months. He said he was just to old to play the field and he wanted to settle. Well I was looking for someone to settle down with also. So it all worked out in the end. I didn't think he was ready but he was so use to having a mate that he couldn't imagine living without one. It was tuff on me but we made it through it and I love him dearly. I met him through a friend of mine. I think that is the best way to meet someone. Good luck on your endeavors.
2006-09-28 02:45:03 · answer #5 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your going to be fine! Your right to make the kids your priority right now-you all have a lot of adjusting to do together. Get a life going---find things to get involved in. You wont have to look for someone. A person that is happy,and happy with their life is very attractive to others---women will be drawn to that.
2006-09-28 02:59:58 · answer #6 · answered by patlrussell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when your over her( which you'll never be) i was married at 19 now im 22 and still not over her, you need to look for a concerned friend and nothing more, you'll probably find that if you get in a relasionship right now or any time soon, you will only compare them to her, and give your kids time to adjust to their mother being gone, you'll adjust on your time, but give your wife time she is wrong but she may be confused try to find out why she cheated if you love her do what you can to save her-good luck, my deepest sympothy for you
2006-09-28 02:48:12 · answer #7 · answered by jason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun as soon as u think ur ready have at it.. aslong as ur kids are ur top priority and u let any female u hook up with know that from the start u'll be fine.. totally understand ur situation, mine was pretty much exactly the same as urs.. so as soon as ur ready .. have fun..
2006-09-28 02:58:04 · answer #8 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should make sure you are over the anger and betrayal of your wife cheating on you otherwise it will probably jeopardize any future relationships with women - i dated a guy whose wife cheated on him and he just could not commit to anyone and basically used women for sex and then dumped them because he was so afraid of getting close to anyone again and getting hurt - you should really make sure you have resolved all issues from your cheating wife before you get involved - it's only fair to the women out there who may get hurt by you.
2006-09-28 02:49:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and date just be careful that she is good. Clean, family orientated, loves your kids, cares enough about her family that if they need her to work and help out she cares enough to do so. good luck. Judy
2006-09-28 02:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by jpearlpeek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋