I have been married for 3.5 months. About a 1.5 ago I caught my wife pursuing a guy that she met while we were on vacation in Florida. She had exchanged numbers and email addreses and was chatting up a storm about everything including how they can't wait until they will get a chance to see each other..etc etc. Very obviously going over the line past a firendship. I confronted her and she promised that she would not contact him again and that she was wrong. During the past month I have been the one who has been really working t omake sure that everything works out and she has been giving it a half hearted effort (in my opinion) Yesterday I found out why...I went to ask her something and she was sitting at the computer, in the middle of e-mailing him. My guess is that she has never stopped talking to him and that I should just remove my self from this situation. Thoughts?
2006-09-28 01:40:40 · 25 answers · asked by ????????????????? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Time for an ultimatum---but only if you are willing to follow through with it. Either she forgets this dude or she forgets you. If she chooses the other guy, you never really had her love anyway and it's better you find out now than waste years of your life and love finding out later.
Your only other option is to keep things as they are and you whine and moan about it the rest of your life on chat rooms.
2006-09-28 01:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by Gary E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be easy for me to say "Dump her", "Toss her to the curb" and all that other macho crap. You and I both know that it isn't as easy as that is it? It's pretty obvious that you love her. On the other hand she doesn't seem to give a tinker's cuss about your feelings.
It's pretty clear that she's laying the groundwork with this guy for a meeting and no doubt an affair. I would also suspect that if you two have no immediate plans to go to Florida on another vacation (I mean, why would you?) then this clown she's corresponding with may be planning to either come up here or she'll find an excuse to head there.
I guess the best thing to do at this stage of the game is look into ending this relationship. There is ghost program you can run that will capture and copy all correspondence he and she send. Compile it and have it ready for your attorney. I think you'd be much better off making preparations to end this and work at avoiding having to give her any alimony or pension money she may try and get from you. If she finds this guy so fascinating then let her go. She isn't worth the trouble and there are no doubt ooodles of women who would probably kill to get a guy like you as a husband or boyfriend.
Good luck.
2006-09-28 09:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right on this one sweetie. I'm not generally an advocate for divorce, but it would appear that she's not taking your marriage too seriously. After 3.5 months and she's already doing this kind of thing, what are you to expect after a year or two? It's time for you to think like a girl and get sneaky. Start checking her emails and phone records. If she doesn't have a cell phone, you can switch to Vonage home phone service and with them, you can go on line and see every call that was made to your phone, and every call that was made from your phone. Very handy if you have to do a little reconnaissance work.
I would also investigate the statute of limitations for marriage annulments in your state. Cheaper than a divorce and she won't be able to take you to the cleaners. It's kinda like being able to say, "Do-overs" or, "No wait, I was just kidding about that whole marriage thing". Could be very handy for you right now.
Good luck love, so sorry that you have to go through this.
2006-09-28 08:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by andi b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is not a good one. You've only been married for 3.5 months and within 1 month of your marriage she was trying to cheat? She was not ready for a commitment. You deserve so much better. If she has not stopped communicating with this person then you have one of two choices. You can stay and try to work it out if that is what you want to do. Maybe give her an ultimatium by saying that if she doesn't stop then the marriage is over but be prepared for it to be over when you say that because more than likely, depending on how far she has gone with this communication, she won't stop but if she does then you know she loves you and is willing to do whatever it takes to please you.
2006-09-28 08:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by ga_gyrl91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I would suggest that seek council--both emotionally and legally. It sounds as if there is a serious breech of trust in your relationship and perhaps you should carefully consider your options. Don't let this ruin your self-worth. Take the time to heal and move on when you can. Not all women are like this. Best wishes for your future happiness.
2006-09-28 08:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by sm2f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, seek marriage counseling immediately. Your wife has broken a trust and fidelity of the marriage. She sounds immature and has some wonder lust.
Be thankful you don't have children yet as it greatly complicates a divorce should things come to that. Also, save those emails and any computer records as it may it will be helpful in a divorce.
2006-09-28 08:48:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don’t think you have done anything wrong, and maybe even you have been very good to her, but you are just not the one who able to give her 100% that what she wanted. Sorry to say that! And that will never change…. So you either accept her as she is, and she will have all different man in the future for sure… or get out the situation you are in…. you will never change her… so you might have to change yourself
2006-09-28 09:20:31 · answer #7 · answered by Tomorrowalwaysbetter! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sad!! She doesn't respect your wishes at all, and married women have no business having any type of relationship with another guy!!
If she won't stop talking to the guy, it's like she's cheating, just not in the physical form!!
Get out of this situation fast!!
2006-09-28 08:50:31 · answer #8 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got yourself into a marriage with someone with a wandering eye. If she doesn't hook up with this guy, it will be another. I would get out now. Try to retreive the emails in case she wants to fight in court. You might get hurt some financially, but it will be worth it to get rid of her.
2006-09-28 08:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by Dino4747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your finances in order, it's about to be a divorce. Dude if she doing this in your face, you probably don't want to know about when your away (don't look at any new wife next door movies). If she putting that much energy in him she never wanted to be married to you, she just wanted the title.
2006-09-28 08:48:16 · answer #10 · answered by 504Boy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋