There was this lady names sue and she worked in a nursing home each and every day. She was very very close to a very old man named ralph. Well she'd go to work and everyday spend a good amount of time with him because she knew his days were closing in. Well upon arriving to see him she said good morning ralph how are you today? He replied im good except my pee-pee died. Not knowing how to respond she simply said Im sorry to hear that. Well for the next few days thats all ralph had to say is that his pee-pee had died. Well One morning sue went to check on ralph and he wasnt in his room. Frantic she ran and checked all her lists to see if maybe he had passed away or been moved to a different place. He hadnt so she knew he had to be around here somewhere. Before she knew Ralph came walking down the hall with his pee-pee out. Sue ran over and said ralph you cant be doing that. Ralph replied'No its okay todays is the viewing".
Like it or no???
2006-09-28 01:26:19 · 13 answers · asked by jdnsmama1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No its quite a crap joke actually, was it worth the time it took to type it??
2006-09-28 01:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by cleo55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nursing holmes are very funny places! Ha!ha!
I first started working with Sue myself, And At the end of the day she would give us all a little test before we went home, anyways she come up to me and inquired of me if I had known the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer, my reply was no. Sue looked me straight in the eye and answered-- the taste!
2006-09-28 01:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by Michael 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny joke
2006-09-28 01:28:12 · answer #3 · answered by Texan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good joke, but you need to work on the presentation better
2006-09-28 01:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here 4joke 4u.
Once Upon a Time Little Red Riding Hood...
Once upon a time Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest to her grandmother's house. She was carrying a basket full of wonderful goodies for her and her grandmother to eat...
she also had a big gun to protect herself in the woods.
One day Little Red Riding Hood came upon a Fox. The fox looked at Little Red and says "Little Red Riding hood, what are you doing walking in the forest by yourself. You know if the wolf catches you he will rip your clothes off and fondle your titties."
Little Red sighs and smiles at the fox and slowly opens her basket and shows the fox her gun and says "No he won't, see I have a gun to protect myself." She smiles and skips away from the fox to her grandmother's house.
Little red gets deep within the forest when she comes upon a bear who wanders up to her and smells the yummy food in the basket then thinks to himself for a second and says, "What are you, stupid, Little Red? You know if the Wolf catches you alone in the forest he's going to rip your clothes off and fondle your titties."
Little Red shows the bear the big gun in her basket and smiles, "No he won't I have a big gun in my basket ...." She pulls out the gun "See, nothing can harm me." Little Red smiles and skips to grandmother's house.
Little red finally makes it to grandmother's house...and knocks on the door...no one answers so she goes right in. She walks to the bed, sees the Wolf and screams as the Wolf yells, "Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to rip your clothes off and fondle your titties!"
The wolf reaches out to her and Little Red smiles and pulls out her gun and yells, "No you're not! You are going to EAT ME, JUST LIKE THE BOOKS SAYS!"
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A Fishy Story
Two avid fishermen go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
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Golfing With Wife
A lovely afternoon finds one fellow and his wife golfing. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, wraps around an old barn. With a terrible slice the man puts the barn between his ball and the green. Knowing that the strokes that it will take to get around the barn will destroy his score, he begins to rant and rave. His wife hating to see him ruin such a great afternoon makes a suggestion.
"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."
He thinks this over and decides that it will work. With his wife holding open the barn door he lines up with the hole and gives the ball a terrific "whack"! The ball shoots through the air and right into the head of his wife, killing her instantly.
Months go by, the man mourning all the while. His friends, hating to see him in such a state, convince him to go golfing with them. They end up at the same course and on the final hole, oddly enough, another terrible slice puts the old barn between his ball and the green. Again he begins to rant and rave at what this dilemma will do to his score. He friend, wanting to please him, makes a suggestion.
"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."
"No," the man replies, "last time I did that I got two over par."
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Don't Lie to Mom
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
Lesson of the day... Don't Lie To Your Mother.
2006-09-28 01:30:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
too long to have a less than great punch line at the end.
2006-09-28 01:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope!sorry!its an x-rated joke for chidren
2006-09-28 01:28:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda long for something that's only a little funny.
2006-09-28 01:29:10 · answer #8 · answered by jojo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry not my kind of humor.
2006-09-28 01:32:51 · answer #9 · answered by MUSHMAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude NOT FUNNY try another one.
2006-09-28 01:33:09 · answer #10 · answered by zeee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋