A few months a go I met a really nice guy, a plutonic friendship, and introduced him to my friends. All of a sudden I realise that I don't actually trust him one little bit - I have discovered that he tells big lie's that have caused a few problems for people - I feel vary wary and dont know what to do, he seems to have insinuated himself amongst my friends and is very subtely causing problems.
How would you react in a situation like this - tell people about your fears, or keep them to yourself and just wait to see what happens?
2006-09-28 00:52:51 · 14 answers · asked by a random night 2 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Tell you friends. After all they were your friends first and for all you know , they may have had the same thoughts as you , but have been afraid to say anything because they didn't want to upset you !
2006-10-01 04:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by kirstapper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A clean break sounds good but that isn't always that easy. Get your friends together, without him, and tell them of your fears. Ask them to keep on their guard because if he does cause problems it could be between your friends. I.e., divide and conquer. Make them aware he could try and make them fall out with each other. Try and get more time to yourself without him about and make it longer each time. If he realises and asks you why then just tell him you are not in a relationship and want more time to yourself. Go out with your friends without telling him. He might get the message. Ask him why he doesn't see his own friends. He will probably say that your friends are his also, in which case this is where your friends need to stick together with leave him out of things too. Good luck.
2006-09-28 01:09:48 · answer #2 · answered by Iluv24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now. He sounds like a pathological liar and will make his situation fit each relationship he has in order to get things he wants; money, somewhere to stay, sex. You are at a very good point - the whole thing is still fresh and it's the unwritten assessment period of your friendship. He doesn't check out. Break ties now. Tell your friends what you think - I bet they agree and were only accepting him because they trust you. If you don't lose him now, he will entwine his way into your group of friends and exploit them.
2006-09-28 01:02:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a delicate thing indeed. It only takes a rumour to ruin it. I would approach this problem with caution, and to hear what all sides have to say. Ask...why is he telling those lies? Could he be a victim other people's insinuation (people whom you trust)? Is there such a thing as a subtle problem?
2006-09-28 01:12:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mathew_s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
proves you need to be careful with people at the beginning..I am always friendly but hold people at arm's length until you have spent some "time" with them...anyone can pretend for awhile ..but not forever...
yes warn your friends subtley....but wait and find examples of why you distrust him..not just generic ...negativity..
2006-09-28 00:57:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The truth will come out in the end! or you could just tell your friends and they can judge for themselves.
2006-09-28 01:21:10 · answer #6 · answered by Morgan J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should confide in your friends about your fears with this person and if they see and feel the same then cut all ties with him.
2006-09-28 00:55:09 · answer #7 · answered by mskristinah 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I assume that your a woman. All women are the same, they always doubt people, especially their partners. Don't worry, its natural for women to do this.
2006-09-28 01:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by Mr curious 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remember - Softly softly catchee monkey.
2006-09-28 01:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
cass is right - tell your friends how you feel but have some proof of his lies ready to back it up otherwise it'll just sound like random bitching.
2006-09-28 01:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋