Long story short - I met a man about a year ago (online) and we have been maintaining a long distance relationship since then (a very serious one).
We have been talking lately about me moving in with him. He lives 140 miles away from me. I have 2 girls, ages 15 and soon to be 18.
Taking my children with me is not an option, because of school and their friends...there's NO WAY they would want to go.
I don't want him moving here either, because he has a great job that I don't want him to give up (whereas my current job is not great at all).
I'm torn on what to do. He has said that he will wait for me as long as necessary, but I want to be with him on a full time basis as soon as possible.
And, my kids do have a father that they can live with.
I don't know if I can leave my kids behind like that. Has anyone ever been in a similair situation where you made something like this actually work?
2006-09-28 00:14:55 · 9 answers · asked by Joanne 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Long distance relationships can always be hard. You or he will always want to be closer than you are, or you need that one on one time to get to know each other better. Talk with your girls and see what they think personally since they are involved and old enough to know what is happening around them. If nothing else, you two can plan "weekend getaways" with each other for some more private times to be close to each other. Personally I always enjoyed car rides to different places. And you can see even that as a new adventure.
2006-09-28 00:26:11 · answer #1 · answered by merlinmx5 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is willing to wait as long as necessary....I think it's a rather selfish thought to leave your 15 and 18 year old with their father (when I assume) they've lived in your home with you all these years. A long distance relationship is clearly difficult to maintain but as adults, long weekends can be arranged, planned vacations ect. The distance between two friends is never that far. You should not leave your kids behind, you're right.
2006-09-28 00:24:56 · answer #2 · answered by Julie L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how your kids felt about all this. I would talk to the girls about it, get their input and see if they would feel like you've chosen him over them. Obviously, they come first. You brought them into the world and your first responsibility is their well being.
If that means waiting 3 years until the 15 yr. old is of age then you will just have to commute on the weekends. 140 miles is not that bad, it could be a lot worse! I would advise calling a "family meeting" and see how it goes from there! Good Luck :)
2006-09-28 00:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by Deb C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in that right now. We live about 60 miles away and we are going to try this in Jan. I wish I had the answer that you are looking for but I dont. We are not sure what we are going to do about the kids. I think we are going to leave them there untill next year and she is going to drive 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the evening until school is out. The kids are 8 and 5. I think it would be harder for your kids b/c there are so much older and they have all there friends there from kindergarden. Like I said, I wish I had the answer that you are looking for. I really hope everything works out for ALL of you. Good luck
2006-09-28 00:21:48 · answer #4 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry, but I don't think you should leave your kids. You only have three more years and then your kids will be raised. Move then. I understand they have a father they can live with, but you are their mother. Don't choose a man over your girls. That is craziness!
2006-09-28 00:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6months isn't a protracted time for individuals who've been at the same time a protracted time and young infants in touch to be separated. i don't think of you will desire to even have something to do with the infants you have been at the same time a month young infants take time to get used to there mum and dad breaking apart and then 5 months later your there! i think of you will desire to take a lower back seat for a minimum of 6 months with the infants and in case you do not see the infants you do not would desire to make certain the ex. i understand you will in comparison to what i've got mentioned yet its the reality and there are young infants in touch. And as for the telephone calls from the infants they'll prefer daddy to return domicile. think of related to the youngsters and not your self!
2016-12-18 18:26:32 · answer #6 · answered by bunton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a choice, be a mother to your daughters, or be a part time mother because of your wants and desires.
If he is willing to wait, why don't you?
2006-09-28 00:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
putting a man before u kids..its disgraceful...it truly breaks my heart to see a woman put a man before her kids..i do hope your kids dont get to read this..think about what kind of mother u would be if u left them behind.
2006-09-28 00:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you could give it a try for a short period and see how it works out
2006-09-28 00:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋