Hey TRUCKERS?

Question

I know you always have the best jokes.
Got any new ones for me?

Answer 1

> >>A blind man walks into a little restaurant and sits down. The owner
> >>walks up to him and hands him a menu.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a
> >>fork used by a previous customer.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>I'll smell it and order from there."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks
> >>up a greasy fork. He returns to the man's table and hands it to him.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah,
> >>yes, that's what I'll have....meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen and tells
> >>his wife, Wendy, the cook, what just happened.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>The blind man eats and leaves.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly
> >>brings him a menu again.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>"I'm sorry! I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a fork."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll
> >>take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing
> >>around with him and tells his wife, Wendy, that the next time the blind
> >>man comes in he's going to test him.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>The blind man returns the following week, but this time the owner sees
> >>him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, " Wendy, rub this
> >>fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Wendy complies and hands her husband the fork.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
> >>"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you, and I have your fork
> >>all ready for you."
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>The blind man puts the fork to his nose, sniffs, and says, "Hey, I
> >>didn't know Wendy worked here!"
> >>
> >
> >


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to
>>>other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a
>>>Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over
>>>sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in
>>>
>>>the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over
>>>
>>>and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but
>>>would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second
>>>blanket? I'm awfully co ld."
>>>
>>>I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend
>>>that we're married."
>>>Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your
>>>own damn blanket!"
>>>
>>>After a moment of silence, he farted.
>>>




----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: barter


Harlow was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so

>he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.

>

>At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf

>while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a=20

>customer.

>When Carl was finished, Mary asked "How much for the teapot?"

>

>Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $100!"

>

>"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary exclaimed.

>Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Harlow had sent her

>to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.

>

>From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary , you wanna screw for that

>hinge?"

>

>Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

Answer 2

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker on the interstate. while riding along the fellow notices a monkey sitting on the dash. what does your monkey do?,asks the hitchhiker. the trucker backhands the monkey knocking him off the dash onto the floor at the hitchhikers feet. the monkey scrambles across the truck,unzips the truckers fly and begins giving him oral. when he's done he zips up the truckers fly and climbs back onto the dash. you want to try that? says the trucker. well,OK says the hitchhiker but you don't have to hit me as hard as you did the monkey.

Answer 3

A little boy was sitting on his porch, with a bowl of M & M's,and his cat waiting for his dad to come in off the road, his neighbor was watching him from across the street, as this little boy would pick up his cat, give it a kiss, and eat a candy and scootch down on the step, the neighbor was curious after seeing the little boy do this a few times, and walked over and asked "Johnny, what are you doing?", Johnny replied...Being just like my Daddy...getting a little Pu**y, taking drugs, and moving down the road.

Answer 4

Doctor, don 't laugh" A man goes to his family doctor and says " I 've got the problem you will see, only you 've got to promise not to laugh" he doctor replies, "Of course I won 't laugh. That would be thoroughly unprofessional. In over 15 years
of being the doctor, I 've never laughed at a patient.
"OK then," says the man, and he drops his trousers.
The doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniestpenis he has ever seen in his life.Despite his best efforts, he begins laughing, softly
at first, then uncontrollably. Some minutes later he manages to compose himself and wipes the tears from his eyes.
"I am so sorry," he says to his patient, "I don 't know what came over me, I won 't let it happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" The man looks up at the doctor with very sad eyes and
says "IT IS SWOLLEN!!!".

Answer 5

'WINGING IT'

One sunny day after woking in the garden,a mom showered and looked through her wardrobe for something to wear.Whe she asked her three year-old son what she should change into,he pondered the question,then replied,"A BUTTERFLY".