My boyfriend and I have had a long relationship. We are both in our 40's. And we have had some up's and down's. I have had a hard problem with his lying to me. And after a few months apart, we hooked back up. We have had 5 days of compassion and I was starting to open myself up again to him. The last night that I spent with him was great, until we woke up a few hours after we went to slep. We made love which has always been great. Afterwards he said that there has to be a better word then," I love you", He then said what about," I lust you?" Or,"I desire you?"
I flipped out. He is 40 years old and knows what those words mean. They have nothing to do with love. I maybe very scared about the outcome of this new start. And more worried about him lying to me then anything else. He is trying very hard to show me that he is not lying about anything, and for once I belive him.
But what scares me and hurts me worse then ever, was the words" I lust you"..Am I getting all bent out of shape??
2006-09-27 21:06:33 · 9 answers · asked by brytezes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not to be mean or nothing but pleae adults over 35, please respond to this question. I don't need some pre-teen who thinks they know the answers to love to tell me love advise. It is so different being in love when you ar 20+ then when you are 40. Thank you.
2006-09-27 21:24:40 · update #1
Nope. You're right. Satisfying his physical needs is all you are to him. Dump him, cry, move on.
2006-09-27 21:09:56 · answer #1 · answered by seff74 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would freak out too. When little things like this happen, or he says or does something that you are not sure about that give you a funny feeling it is your intuition trying to tell you something. See as you know, all of these little things begin to add up. All the little things that bother you will come together and give you that vague feeling of uncertainty that you are experiencing now. My advice is to see other people. Even if you really love this guy, see other people so that you can establish more realistic standards by which to compare his behavior. Something happens when you close yourself off to one person, you start believing that the situation is normal when maybe it is not. If you keep all of your options open then you will be in a better place to judge whether or not this is really what you want.
2006-09-28 04:20:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with him lusting for you or desiring you. If my girlfriend tells me I have a hot bod, I smile and take that as a compliment.
The problem is that lust/desire should be in addition to love, not in replacement of it. The way your boyfriend put it, he practically said that he doesn't love you, he just wants sex. You have every right to be upset about that.
I'd be very concerned if I were you.
2006-09-28 04:22:39 · answer #3 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is into the physical part of the relationship vs. the emotional part. Give it some more time. Don't rush judgement on him. He may need some time to come around. If he continues talking like this after a few months, go with your gut feeling.It should not fail you.
2006-09-28 04:14:14 · answer #4 · answered by scarlettohara1861 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jesus Christ, the guy was just trying to spice up three of the most repetitive, empty words in the English language, and you jumped all over him like a screeching harpy? I'd lie to you too. Look what happens when he tries a little playful banter.
2006-09-28 04:11:49 · answer #5 · answered by Chuck N Knutz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all guys are good at saying the right thing for us in the bedroom...even when he thinks he's saying something you want to hear. This seems youre being overly sensitive perhaps since you and he are still amidst the 'trying in again mode'. He's trying, youre rejecting or doubting. Baby steps. :) :)
2006-09-28 04:17:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you never go back to a guy that had lied to you before. if he really is serious and caring about the relationship, then he would not lie. he just want to get into your pants. a useless guy. dump his *** right now would be your smartest decision of your life...
2006-09-28 04:25:02 · answer #7 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems to me u pay too much importance to words. who cares about words? do u like him? do u love him? re u happy with him? so who cares abotu what he blabbers after having orgazm? i say never mind, enjoy while u can, and rememebr - everything ends. your relations with him will end, your happiness will end, so why spoil it now while u can have it?
2006-09-28 04:17:27 · answer #8 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, he just wants sex, thats all, he isint ready for a relationship with you, he knows the sex with you is good
2006-09-28 04:10:00 · answer #9 · answered by KittyMom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋