something funny to text message someone?

Question

i need sonething funny and random to text someone. the funniest gets 10 points. make it short though because im only alowed 120 characters

Answer 1

say hi then after they reply say "i'd love to stay and chat but you're a total b*tch"

Answer 2

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
OR
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
OR
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
OR
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
OR
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
OR
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
OR
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
OR
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
OR
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
OR
Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
OR
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
OR
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.
OR
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
OR
Your lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.
OR
Y do women spend HOURS in front of d mirror??? *.*.*.*.*.......they slow down at d CURVES!!!
OR
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Answer 3

WARNING:
Cell phone causes radiation & it results in brain damage!
but u'r safe...
Coz it affects people with Brain only! How luvky u r

Answer 4

girl:u drink?
boy:no
g:u smoke?
b:no
g:dont u have any bad habits!?
b:I tell lies!

Answer 5

suck me balls