We were previously in a relationship, me and this friend of mine, and now are working toward building a real relationship but aren't currently together. There is one thing that we are both absolutely sure of, and that is he wants to be my son's father and wants to adopt him. My son's real father has never been there or been in my son's life, has never made a child support payment or even tried to show up for the court dates. So how do I go about having my friend adopt my son without us first being married, although we are working towards having that life? Thank you for all your input it is appreciated.
2006-09-27 20:28:10 · 4 answers · asked by mandy c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Umm.... I think you should have the friend adobt your son then have a divorce when your son's real father. If that make sense... sorry for the lame answer. >.<
2006-09-27 20:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The situation you propose is (in my opinion) too confusing and weird for your son. Your son has one father, whether or not that father is in his life.
If you were to marry someone at some point it may work out to have that person adopt your son and be his legal father, but - really - its way too weird and confusing to your son to have someone his mother isn't married to try to adopt him.
Another thing is this: If you don't allow any person to adopt your child you will (as far as I know) never have to worry about any custody issues if you were to marry someone and the divorce; or even if this friend, for some reason, decides he wants to keep your child for some reason. I know this isn't looking on the bright side, but if you have full-custody of your son why on Earth would you want to share that with anyone?
There are people who have step-fathers who act like fathers to them. They grow close and consider the step-father their father. There doesn't have to be an adoption. If, for some reason, you prefer that a future husband adopt your son wait until you have that husband. "Working towards having that life" is NOT having that life. The first step shouldn't be trying to have your son adopted, and it is quite possible that a judge wouldn't even allow that.
Your son's biological father would have to sign away his parental rights permanently or else the state would have to take them away from him permanently and based on either his being unfit or else not seeing his child (and essentially abandoning him). If the biological father shows up for visits once in a while he may not be willing to sign over his parental rights anyway.
2006-09-27 20:44:08 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happens when you fall in love and marry again? Let your friend be a father to the child but don't do it on paper. Not yet at least.l
2006-09-27 20:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by jd 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you go through your experiences
2006-09-27 21:02:51 · answer #4 · answered by pratap n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋