I started seeing this girl and she is overall, a pretty great girl. But after getting down to the dirty finally, I almost felt cheated! She lays there like a starfish, DOESN'T give head, and doesn't like recieving oral. I like her, but in all honesty, its sad! I don't expect mind blowing sex, but she isn't even into trying new things. I don't consider myself dynamite in the sack, but when I am with a girl who is as comfortable in bed as I am, its great for both of us and makes the relationship alot healthier. She seems to have little concept on foreplay or being 'seductive' and she thinks its 'weird'. Its like ****** a robot or dancing with someone with 2 left feet. I never thought I would break up with a great girl because she is crap in the sack, but sex IS important to me(your lying if you think it isn't) and we might as well be friends if it's that depressing. I like her, I got nothing to work with when it comes to the sex! Should I break it off?
2006-09-27 20:05:08 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She has experience, it just doesn't appeal to her.
2006-09-27 20:12:00 · update #1
Explain to her that you like to do different things..Please don't go over-board with that..(No three-somes or anything..) Get her comfortable and take your time with her.. You've waited this long to tap that a*ss right? If your in a relationship, it takes time.. Above all,if your young which you don't sound or don't act by the way you write,but at the same time,she is, take it slow.. We got freak in us..She may not be experienced with as many or one for that matter..Consider yourself a cherry breaker because if you turn her out,you'll never be forgotten..Be patient boo..She'll c*um along.. LOL
2006-09-27 20:19:30 · answer #1 · answered by blueboyswoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently she means something to you, or you wouldn't take this opportunity to ask about it. That's good. Now, you have to ask yourself, do you have the ballz to voice your hesitations? If you are mature enough to be having these relations you surely should be comfortable talking about them. If you weren't happy with someone because of a nonsexual issue, wouldn't you bring it to their attention so you guys could either work on it or move on? This is the same thing. You aren't going to be able to keep going with this girl if you aren't happy with the way the sex life is.
It's perfectly ok to say that sex means a lot to you, because we can see that it doesn't mean that is the only thing to you. Communication is essential here. Tell her that you enjoy making a woman feel good and want to know her every desire so you can please her.
Maybe oral sex isn't 'good' for her because she hasn't had good experiences with it. I know that I was very turned off by it because I never had someone take their time down there and kiss me the way I wanted to be kissed down below. My fiancee now turned my attitude completely around about oral sex. Make it slow and soft and sensual. Let her know you WANT to do this for her and you think it's very sexy. It can be unsexy if a woman thinks of all the possibilities that a man might be thinking of while performing on her (ie, smell, how it looks..).
As for her giving oral pleasure, that is something that people either will do or won't do. It also takes time and experimentation. It shouldn't be pushed.
Make it all about wanting to please her. Good luck :)
2006-09-28 03:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by Rachael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you should break it off with her just yet....
In relationships, communication is KEY. And when it comes to sex in the relationship you need to be open and honest with eachother in the matter. You know, like voicing what each of you likes or dislikes.
Try talking with her and telling her what is going on in that head of yours. It could be that she has performance anxiety, or she may be new to all of it and doesn't know what to do. Don't hold it against her for it. If she is new to it, as time progresses she will become more confident with herself. Yes, when two people are confident and comfortable in their sexuality it does make the sex better, but in order to get to that point, telling her that she is shitty in bed is not a way to help fix that.
2006-09-28 03:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by zrose86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you told her how you feel?If so and she still refuses to tell you why she may not be up to what you have in mind then tell her that it is better to stop the relationship now because you do not feel like she is in this relationship fully.If you have not told her how you feel or ask her why she is afraid to share her intimate side then go to her and explain that you really care for her and you want this to work but you need her to be open with you and that it is okay if she does not have alot of experience and that you and her can discover one another together til she is more comfortable.
2006-09-28 03:14:36 · answer #4 · answered by schazell j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because you would just end up cheating on her. Sex isn't the most important thing, but it does count for some of a relationship. I feel ya, if a guy isn't up to par in bed, I gotta keep going until I find someone with ALL qualifications including sexual activity. Call me shallow.lol
2006-09-28 03:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you all guys against this guy?????
so are you going to say, women, that sex is NOT IMPORTANT in a relationship?????? i am a woman and it is definately important. it's not all..but it is a part of a healthy relationship.
You have to communicate aka talk to this girl otherwise she won't understand. Tell her that maybe you can try this and that. and it would make you really happy. ASK HER WHAT SHE LIKES?? WHAT SHE DOESNT LIKE??? ask her what does she want from you in bed? does she even like sex? why doesnt she like oral? is she shy? she might be insecure or with some religious issues. You should also try to role play..BE like : tonight im gonna be your teacher. lets learn some amazing stuff. and YOU TEACH her ALL YOU KNOW abOUT FOREPLAY. let her enjoy this. she is probably some sheltered child who never had a good lover. SHOW HER the joy of sex. TALK ABOUT IT. YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT> you have to be open about what you want in sex and in life..if you really wanna get anywhere....
so establish a safe communication line. talk to her about sex only when its a good moment and you both feel comfortable..
You have to let her know that you want to please her and you want to be happy too and she is amazing chick and you are so excited to learn and share such intimate thing as sex with her...and you wanna learn from her and you want to teach her. and then ask her: are u open-minded? she has to say yes....and then be like okay well. i am going to do something and you tell me if you like it....then try to give a massage...and caress her body....and by the way..i suggest using various random words like " yellow" or "coffee" or "oranges" ...because using the word" STOP" doesnt really work..cos say....you are doing something she doesnt really like but she is says STOP and you dont stop cos u think she is just kidding and being cute.....and then in the end she is so traumatized cos she thinks you didnt listen to her when she said STOP..so never use the word stop....use YELLOW...anyways...i think you should just teach her and if she is not open ...try to understand why sex disgusts her..or she doesnt like some things..she has to have a reason. maybe she doesnt trust you enough..or she has no experience what so ever but is trying to look all experienced..maybe she is simply scared! TEACH HER MAN! she might be shy or insecure ..make her feel wanted and loved and she will open up after a while. i assume you are not only after sex and you really dig the chick....so try to be a good friend and not only a bf. be understandable..and COMMUNICATE>.if you don't say it..she won't get..i guarantee..good luck..and if she doesnt even TRY to learn the sex procedure ...then..she may have deeper issues ...and you can't help her and its better for you to move on . cos' i believe that relationships are 50-50%..you give you take..and if she doesnt even attempt to try and take part in the healthy sexual acitivity that is a great part of the relationship....then you should find someone else...dont break up with her until you talk to her and try to teach. she may want you badly but doesnt know how to start...again you never know..shyness..insecurity etc....make her feel good. good luck.
IT DOESNT APPEAL TO HER FOR A REASON!
FIND OUT WHAT THE REASON IS. she may have had horrible experience! YOU NEVER KNOW
2006-09-28 03:24:52 · answer #6 · answered by Feodora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried mentioning all this to her? If its a problem you don't think you can work out or live with then don't stay in the relationship. Keep in mind she may not be as experienced as you and she may be hiding the fact that she isn't sure how to do those things by claiming they are weird.
2006-09-28 03:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by smartyartygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad sex= broken relationship you cannot stay in it unless you are allowed to get sex elsewhere and some of us cannot do that so its goodbye we need the action in all styles in bed if you are that kinda guy or girl and you paired with a lousy partner it wont work....so let her go pretty wont do it for you looks without substance = nothing!!! glad i got both though
2006-09-28 03:43:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ruby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a mate of mine once said.. a relationship is far more than just getting your end in. maybe she just doesn't have that much experience. If you really like the girl, keep it in your pants for a little while longer and enjoy your time with her. Yeah, sex is very important, but sex with someone who you really like is more important.
: )
2006-09-28 03:10:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a real nice guy, and I recall that I was with a guy, he must of been at least a pinky size penis, and sorry but I Love to feel the NEED in me, so I broke it off, he was so sweet and nice, but he gave me oral and two seconds doesn't cut it for me, so yea get rid of her..think if you marry her, your lifetime sex will be so dead...just tell her you need to move on,
2006-09-28 03:13:52 · answer #10 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋