Is the first thought a negative one? Predjudiced? I am in my 40's, and have a desire for black men 25 and older. Didnt mean too...just kinda happened. Then add the fact I am from deep South east Georgia, and grew up with this as a taboo situation. No matter what you say...we all care what others think about us..Are there any other men OR women in this newfound position?How are you dealing w/it?
.Please...no "wise guys"...Thanks!!!
2006-09-27 19:21:15 · 52 answers · asked by schelleygirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well i dont think much about it really, they are just another couple passing you by .. thats all really....
2006-09-27 19:24:01 · answer #1 · answered by :..: 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Let me start by saying, yes people will look. But not like they would have looked 30, 20, 10 or even 5 years ago. Our world is changing, slow, but its changing. We can thank diversity training that so many business are investing in. I am the daughter of a White mother and Black father. I am 43 and my parents married back in 1961 when it was not accepted at all and in some states it was illegal and in so many instances black men were killed and some white women were ostracized. So yes we have come a long way regarding this issue.
Look, don't spend your life worrying about how people may look at you. Its your life, so own it. Don't be ashamed or make any excuses for who you are. Life is too short. I know you may feel a little uneasy and some times it's not so much that people are looking but that you expect people to look there for your discomfort may just call attention. Try this, have you ever seen two people that seemed so into each other and so in love. Its like they have a bubble around them and no one can penetrate it. Well, give that a try. But by all means make sure you are truly into someone and not just dating them solely based on the fact that they are black. I am with someone that the world doesn't totally approve of and you know what, I don't care, I keep living my life (and its a good one) and block out any negativity. Good luck to you and stay strong.
2006-09-27 19:58:40 · answer #2 · answered by stanton_group 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think much of it but I grew up knowing everyone is the same and race means nothing. It all comes down to how much pigmented melanin is in each individuals skin. Eventually all the world will be mixed anyways. In the countries I have lived interracial relationships are not that big a deal but I can see it being difficult in the Southern United States where there have always been interracial issues. Some people are just stuck in the past and don't want to accept equality of all people. It is truly sad. Good Luck though. I hope things turn out really well for you and your fellow.
2006-09-27 19:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by coolchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its great! Really biology and genetics implies that inner breeding is bad and increases the risk for hereditary disease. Race really is large scale inner breeding.
The tough part is some of the cultural differences between different race couples can be a problem. Not race but culture. How each person percieves the world based on up bringing.
This is also a problem in same race couples too.
But really more power to you! It sucks that ignorance is still common in the south. I live in a very liberal city (San Francisco) and will never live anywhere else because of intolerance and ignorance. And really, life is short, if he makes you happy then run with it. Way to many unhappy couples which includes same race couples. Dream as though there is no tomorrow and live every day as though it is your last. Good luck.
2006-09-27 19:31:56 · answer #4 · answered by X 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I live in NY and that's a common thing around here. I don't even look twice so it always surprises me when people say that it;s still a problem in some parts of the US. I mean "taboo" really?? I thought marrying a relative was taboo but a human being that just happens to have more melanin than you? C'mon
Don't worry about it, follow your heart and if your family and friends love you, they should love whoever you love too. As for other people, you are at an age where you should realize that they don't matter as much anymore.
2006-09-27 19:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by Jmyooooh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I am from the deep south too. I use to not like it.( I'm older than you.) But, I have changed my mind. I was brought up by very prejudice parents but they were wrong. I think it is perfectly alright to date whoever you want. What I think you ought to look for (and this is what I look for in a person) is integrity, honesty, kindness, good spirited, and common interest. NO MATTER WHAT THEIR SKIN COLOR. I know how people can be in the deep south as I have been here all my life, but things are a changing. If you find a decent person to date then don't worry about what other people think. You will never please everybody so why don't you start pleasing yourself?
2006-09-27 19:39:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, In todays' society, anything goes. I understand your upbringing but that doesn't always "mold" the adult. I am not a predjudiced person as far as color, unless someone is "using" their color. I believe that we eliminated that years ago and the few that are still hanging on to the color thing are the one's that cause racial problems. If you have found someone that cares about you and will be good to you, then grab him up!! Color aside, it's hard to find a good mate. I'm a little more concerned with the age difference you mentioned than the color.
2006-09-27 19:36:44 · answer #7 · answered by dolphinroc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great. I'm from Alabama originally so I know what you mean by it being taboo. I'm dating a black man now and couldn't be happy. I can't imagine going back to white men. And yes we care what people think but we are happy and that's what is important. The people that care about you will only care that you are happy not the color of the man you date.
2006-09-27 19:33:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first thought is thats cute!! Colour never matters in a relationship! My sister has been dating a black guy for three years and they are getting married. Both of our families love the idea they are the best couple iv seen in a long time!
Good luck with the answers!!
2006-09-27 19:31:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when I see bi-racial couples, I think , "very cool" - I'd like to have them for friends because they've got to have alot of pressure and challenges dealing with prejudice and people's bad attitudes - many people are downright mean about it. I totally respect bi-racial couples. I have had friends in this situation and alot of times it doesn't work out. In that case, the parents were double prejudiced because the guy was half African American and half Indian, while she was the too good for anybody pure European (which she of course isn't). Well, they were two good friends of mine - and they are in the Midwest - and well her parents gave her such a horrible time about it that she couldn't go through with marrying him and they broke up - very sad. But, it doesn't always turn out that way - both of you have to be strong and sacrifice alot and put up with alot to make it work. My sister had bi-racial children and they are some of the most beautiful people - especially as babies - oh my goodness - the babies are so perfectly cute, beautiful and unique.
2006-09-27 19:28:33 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I'd just think there's a couple, colour wouldn't be an issue. Like you, I find black men very attractive and I think you should live your life the way you wish. Some people can be prejudiced, but at the end of the day, they don't even know you, so who cares what they think. Take care : )
2006-09-27 19:24:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋