OK MY SON HAS BEEN WITH ME SINCE HE WAS BORN. NOW HIS DAD GETS VISITATION 2WEEKS AT A TIME TILL MY SON STARTS SCHOOL. EXCEPT WHEN HE GOES TO HIS DADS THEY WONT WORK WITH HIM TO HELP MAKE HIM SMARTER. THE HE COMES HOME AND DOESNT REMEMBER THE STUFF I TAUGHT HIM. I MEAN HES ONLY THREE. BUT HES SO SMART.HE STARTED MAKING HIM SELF CLIMB ON THE POTTY AT ONE, BECAUSE MOOMY WAS DOING IT.HE STANDS NOW BECAUSE MY NEW HUSBAND DOES.I STEADELY KEEP TRING BUT HIS DAD WONT HELP. I DONT MY SON TO BE STUPID.HES SO SMART HE COUNTS DOES ALL THE COLORS HES BEEN TALKING SINCE BEFORE HE WAS ONE. I NEED AN OPINION FROM SOME ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW US TO SHED SOME LIGHT ON THIS ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY.
2006-09-27 19:09:54 · 14 answers · asked by amanda r 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
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2006-09-27 19:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by mikey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only thing that makes him remember when he is at home is that you consistanly tell him and remind him and work with him. As you said, he is only three, so after a week he will forget many things that you have taught him. Consistancy is the key to making things stick. So you either need to tell your Ex that you are working on certain things and have him follow through with those things or dont stress when your toddler forgets. Your Ex is focused on quality time with his son and since he only has limited visiting time I would cut him some slack, you have him most of the time.
I am going out on a limb here and saying that your problem has more to do with your personal negative feelings towards the Ex and his new companion and less to do with your son forgetting what color yellow is. Or did you want your ex to spend the whole two weeks in a classroom teaching shapes colors and letters to his son instead of having fun with a son he never sees.
And be careful that you dont imprint your anger and hatred for your ex on your son. He doesnt deserve that.
My son forgot things on purpose just to get attention from us at that age. Just wait a year and a half and you will see a shocking difference.
2006-09-28 02:45:55 · answer #2 · answered by Paul S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is really nothing you can do. I have the same problem but my son is ten and his father could care less about school studies and activities or sports. I was told by the courts that when my son is in his fathers care I was not allowed to give parenting tips or even call because it interferes with his time. Which I think is a bunch of BS but still I have not found away to make his father listen. You just have to keep incontroll when your son is with you and keep up on the things you have taught him. You may be able to go back to court and modify the visitation or try a family court to see if you can agree on a parenting plan together. Best of luck, I have been going through this for ten years and finally my son is staying on track only because I and my hubby are the enforcers and he only goes there every other weekend.
2006-09-28 02:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Um... try to avoid all caps. It's the equal of 'Yelling".
Do you know WHY his Dad won't work with him?
Are you following a specific teaching plan, and Dad doesn't like it? Or doesn't know how to do it? Or is it just that he doesn't see your son often, and wants to do only 'fun' things with him?
Knowing WHY can help you figure out how to approach the situation.
It could also be that this is a big change for such a little guy. Most of the time, he's with Mom. Then he goes to Dad's house for two whole weeks, which can seem like 'forever' to a small one. It could be overwhelming for him to switch from household to household, with different rules, etc.
You can send your son to visit with his favorite games (number puzzles, etc.) and books, but you can't really MAKE the guy read to him. Your son COULD play with these on his own, though.
Any more info?
2006-09-28 02:36:38 · answer #4 · answered by AD J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really is your son is smart, he will learn what he can do at your house, and then what he can do at his dads house. If he is smart, he will not forget what you teach him, and even if your ex won't work with him, he will get it. Just because your ex won't work with him like you want him to, will not make your son stupid. Just make sure that you do not talk bad about his dad in front of him, and talk down to him about his dad, if he is really smart, he will pick up on that and it could turn out to be bad for you in the long run. Good Luck, and don't forget to let him be a kid
2006-09-28 02:21:11 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are things that my ex does that I strongly disagree with. I have been in and out of court. The recurrent theme is that as long as there is no harm coming to the children there is nothing that you can do or say to change what goes on at the other parents house during their time. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
2006-09-28 02:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to adjust when a child goes between 2 homes. I have similar problems with my ex and my 7 year old. The best thing to do is talk to your ex about how you would like your son to be raised. Try to come to some sort of compromise. Even if you and your ex don't get along, try and get him to understand it's not about you two anymore, it's about your son and his future. If he cares for your son, he'll understand and try to help. If you fear that your son is in some sort of danger, then call the proper authorities. I hope this helps! Remember to make the best descisions with your son in mind.
***Speef.....she was saying he is smart because he stands to pee, and his father isn't reinforcing that. Please make sure you understand what is being said before acting like a jerk.
2006-09-28 02:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by Misty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to the judge babe.....hes awfully little to be away from mommy for two weeks at a time! I would fight that tooth and nail, get an attorney it is an investment in your son. Do not think money is an issue........or we'll tear up your mommy card! Your husband should understand, a mediator experienced with evalutating children that young should be involved.......hell i woud hire a child psychologist!
Keep up the fight babe........two weeks is toooooooo long at age 3!
2006-09-28 02:21:43 · answer #8 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your example was that your son now stands when he goes to the restroom? Ok, he is a boy...lol that is a horrible horrible excuse and it sounds like you are a control freak. Sry, your son stands when he pees, he then has the problem of ALL men...
2006-09-28 02:19:17 · answer #9 · answered by speefmoney4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The tough part about this is that you need to unerstand that each household is different and will do things differently. Your ex-husband would probably be doing everything exactly the same even if you two were still together.
Things will get easier as he gets older.
2006-09-28 02:15:58 · answer #10 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If your child is as smart as you say, he will not forget what he learned in only a few weeks away. You might just have to remind him about a few things that you do differently in your household
2006-09-28 02:18:15 · answer #11 · answered by bambi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋