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My daughter is almost six. There are a couple mean boys at school that will hit and push her sometimes. Its the same three boys. The school claim they do their best. The boys' parents dont care.. they said they will talk to their kids but it continues. My daughter tells them to quit and walks away but sometimes they follow. Im sick of them. I told her tonite that if they hit her that she can hit them back. Is that a bad idea? Im not sure what else to do with these little snots.

2006-09-27 18:45:36 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Grade-Schooler

45 answers

I know exactly what you mean i went through the same thing with my daughter. I called the parents nothing helped I talked too the school they did nothing. I told her too handle it the way she thought she should the next day i get a call. my daughter defended her self and yes she got suspended from school for a couple of days but, when she did i went too the school told them that the other person should have some punishment too cause if they had been keeping records they would see that i had been their before. they did nothing.. I went too the school board told them the truth about the situation and the next day the others were punished too. and it stopped. i think its sad when you take an issue too the schools about problems and nothing is done. so in my opinion you did the right thing

2006-09-27 18:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ozark American 2 · 3 0

Right now your daughter is at a precious age where things that happen to her and how she reacts to them will echo throughout her life. I'm not so sure about the hitting, but teaching her how to defend herself is really crucial because NOW is the time for her to learn her self worth and create good self esteem.
I would have her go immediately to a school official whenever the boys start picking on her. Perhaps you could have a chat with the recess supervisors and alert them to the problem so that they can keep an eye on the situation and break up any fights that may ensue. I would also become the biggest burr under the Principal's saddle about this EACH and EVERY time it happens. DEMAND that the boys be removed from the school if they keep harassing your daughter! The school can suspend the boys even if the parent's don't care, and then maybe when they're inconvenienced by the suspension, they might start to care.

2006-09-27 19:04:18 · answer #2 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0 0

Wow at six now huh? that is so sad. I had a bully when I was in 5th and 6th grades. I mainly tried to avoid them,but you can't always. I know it is hard to come up with options for defending one's self. If she is off the school property then perhaps you can send some pepper spray with her and teach her how to use it properly. I know this sounds harsh,but the bully that picked on me and pushed me into the ditch murdered a girl the next year. She was in the parking lot alone with him. If you think she is too young for pepper spray then maybe you need to step in and either walk her home/pick her up or go to her recess and stand there until you see the teachers doing something about the problem. I know these methods seem a bit extreme but I have a daugther and I know how much Iove her and want her to be safe.

2006-09-27 18:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by Goldylocks 5 · 0 0

My Mom always said "Throw the 2nd, not the 1st punch and you will never get into trouble at home. Run away from a fight and you would get into trouble at home." Bullies look for the weakest link... so as long as she gives a good fight - they should leave her alone. Would recommend that she be in a public place around other kids/teachers when she strikes though... as 3:1 is dangerous.

As far as getting suspended... probably she will, and in all honestly she should... but I wouldn't lose sleep over that. People need to know that you aren't to be messed with... and being taunted is far worse than a day or two of missed school.

Enrolling her in tae kwan do would also not be a bad idea. Learn to defend...not necessarily strike is the most important.

Good luck... I'll cross my fingers for your little girl.

2006-09-28 03:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you could always record them doing this or have afriend do it if the stop when your around and then take a copy to there parents (best to have the princeple hold a parent confrence with them all) and show them the tape ...tell them if it happens again your taking them tocourt...and believe me hunny there isnt a lawyer today who woudnt win that case... you are not wrong i would do the same thing....but keep in mind if she does hit them they may hit backa nd can really hurt...do they tease her on the way home from school or something if you can intercept them a few time and you have a big dog try taking him for a walk...lol i did this when my little brother was being picked on and the dog (old english sheep dog ) didnt like this.... he growled and the boys left him alone from then on out....but...really and truthefully there isnt much in the way of defence that a 6 year old can do.... nor that you can do for her since the offenders are about the same age...if they are teens then tell them youll kick there little a**es if they mess with her again...


i know this is kinda wrote confusingly but the importanat part is at the top

2006-09-27 19:54:12 · answer #5 · answered by ashleyhaddon 3 · 0 0

I think that if she understands and you understand that she can get in trouble for this, than it is fine. Sometimes kids need to stand up to bully's and take the suspension to get them to stop. If she has gone through the process of telling the teacher, telling you, trying to ignore them, yadda yadda yadda, then I see nothing wrong with telling her that. Especially if she is not an aggressive child that will end up being the bully. She may be afraid to hit them back because she is afraid of having a real fight...but having that fight may be what she needs to boost her confidence so people don't bother her. Kids pick on the kids they know they can pick on...she has something in her personality that she is giving off that is telling other kids she is an easy target. More than likely that is her confidence and standing up to bully's is a great way to build confidence.

Nothing wrong with enrolling her in martial arts classes either...(for confidence, not fighting skills...those skills just help obtain confidence!)

Also...don't worry so much about what you tell her. If you are worrying this much...to post about it, it suggests you are a good, concerned, careful parent. You won't ruin her life.

2006-09-27 18:59:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I had to tell my daughter the same thing. You have to be willing to stand behind her though if she does. My daughter was in the same position and one day it finally happened. She'd had enough, and when the little boy attempted to run over her with his bike she pushed him off. He got off the ground and beat the snot out of her. I called the school and demanded a police report be made. After numerous calls to the other mother for previous attacks on my daughter, the mother stated that she wanted to press charges on my daughter. So, since my daughter is white, and the boy was black, my daughter was charged with a hate crime, and assault and battery at the age of 10. I had to go through painstaking court appearances, and deal with my distraught daughter. We eventually won the case, and had her record cleared. So, keep in mind that if you allow your daughter to do this, you may have to fight along side of her in court. As an alternative, you might consider mentioning a lawsuit to the principal for failing to ensure the safety of your child. Perhaps that will get their attention enough to put an end to the bullying.

2006-09-27 23:53:44 · answer #7 · answered by andi b 4 · 0 0

I agree with a few of the other answers, if she hits back she could possibly get seriously hurt. My suggestion would be for her when they pick on her or hit her to scream "stop hurting me" as loud as she can. It should get the attention of everyone around her, (teachers, or other school officials) maybe then the school will wake up and realize this has to stop, because they obviously aren't doing their jobs. You can also go above the principals head and talk to the school board. And if the school tries to repremand her for actions I would insist they repremand the boys for theirs and for all previous actions as well... And be so kind to remind them if they did their job in the first place this would not have happened... And as for their parents its a shame that stupid parenting isn't a crime.... Talk to the local news station and see if embarrassment will do the trick....

2006-09-27 20:45:38 · answer #8 · answered by Wheezy 2 · 0 0

If I were you I would call the police on these boys, it sounds extreme but its the only way to get through to the parents, and hopefully scare the kids enough to stop. You could possibly cause a scene at the school and tell them you are going to call the police and the proper authorities because they are not keeping your daughter safe at school.

I think it was ok to tell her to protect herself, just make sure that she understands she should only do it if they are hitting her and she has no other choice (has no where to run to, no one to yell for help to, etc.).

Hopefully this will get worked out. I would definitely push the school to do something. Dont worry about sounding rude or yelling at them, you are your childs advocate and its your job to make sure you have done every thing that you can to protect her.

2006-09-27 18:53:51 · answer #9 · answered by dmercer12679 3 · 1 1

No, you do not tell her that. You need to go back to the school over and over to talk to the teacher and the principal. Go over and talk to the parents of the boys. Have a meeting at school with everyone. Before all this, make sure your daughter isn't instigating this (I know, our kids are perfect, but really question her). She needs to know why kids bully - it's not because they are bigger and stronger and better - it's usually because they are insecure, don't think much of themselves, and need to feel controlling. Wish you luck.

2006-09-28 00:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0 0

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