have the traditional Christmas(tree,lights etc.) Instead, we took a criuse during the holiday season(had a good time). Christmas time is approching - what should we do?
2006-09-27 18:28:45 · 25 answers · asked by milan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Only the two of you can figure that out. Do what your hearts tell you to do and don't worry about anyone else's opinions.
2006-09-27 18:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all I am so sorry for your loss and the devastation that suicide brings into a family. Have you and your wife dealt with any of the issues this tragedy has had to bring into your family? I would usually say hell yes do whatever you want but these issues will not just go away, they will fester and totally put a wedge right between you two. I believe it is a strong union that can survive the loss of a child. Most marriages don't make it past two years after the death of a child. I hope you are one of the lucky ones but take this time to mourn the loss and miss your son at Christmas this year. get out all of the insecurities it has brought into your relationship. If you need to yell then by all means yell, but running only makes it so much harder to stop and let reality slam into you. I wish you well whatever you do and god bless.
2006-09-28 01:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by sosueme534 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot speak through experience but only with sympathy for your family. The cruise sounded great during such a hard time of the year when families celebrate together. Sometimes I wonder how a family can pick itself and keep going after loosing a child. Do what feels right for you and whatever makes that time of the year easier. You'll know in your hearts when maybe, you may get the strength to be able to go through the motions of Christmas at home.
2006-09-28 01:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That must be a very painful loss. My condolences. I can't even begin to suggest what you should do. This is something you would have to talk through between you are your wife. I think I would make sure I did visit his grave and decorate it with something in honor of his having been here. Beyond that, I am not sure. I think I might have a more traditional Christmas, but I might do it by visiting some family in another town or some such, if that was an option. He was here, he was/is loved/and missed, and he did love you as well, that is what you need to remember.
2006-09-28 01:35:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question has set upon my heart. I would love to help you in any way I can. I know that the loss of a son can leave you empty inside with many questions. A parent should never have to bury their child... but speaking on the subject... Now you have something in common with God. He witnessed his son be buried as well.
If you do not want to face the traditional holiday grind, and old memories, then another cruise would seem to be alright with me. Talk with your wife and ask her what her ideas are for this year. Maybe you could make it your annual vacation. Make sure you both are dealing with the grieving process, don't just try to escape from it. It may do more harm than you know. My prayers are with you both.
2006-09-28 01:56:31 · answer #5 · answered by get_it_right 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Losing someone close to the holidays makes it so much harder to deal with. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my favorite Grandpa about a week before Christmas (this was several years ago) but our family decided to go ahead and celebrate because we felt that that's what Grandpa would have wanted for us. He loved the holidays! Think about your son and try to imagine what he would have wanted for you. If you decide to celebrate Christmas, you don't have to go all out with the tree and lights. Maybe you could make a special wreath that is dedicated to your son. Find some little trinkets that represent his favorite things and glue them to the wreath and maybe put his photo in the center of the wreath. Everyone has their varied reasons for celebrating Christmas. Mine is to love and honor and enjoy my family, whether they're here physically or in memory only. My best wishes to you whatever you decide.
2006-09-28 09:50:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Milan, I am sorry for your loss, and I am not going to say I know who you feel, because I have no clue. I do know it's got to be heartbreaking and confussing for you to understand the "whys".
Christmas time is right around the corner, and I have a friend that husband hung himself Christmas Eve night 11 years ago. She doesn't not want to celebrate or have anything to do with the season. I think it would healthy-mentally for you and your wife and my friend to start enjoying the holiday season again. Start small with a small tree, and take it steps. If you don't feel you can deal with Christmas again this year, then don't...you and your wife are the only ones that know what and how much you can handle.
Deaths rather by their own hands or by sickness or accidents are enough in theirselves to deal with, but around the holidays I feel they are that much difficult to deal with. My friend was killed the 23rd of December by a drunk driver, and it was hard for her family the first couple of Christmases. They know remember her with love and honor, knowing she wouldn't want them to be unhappy. I believe your son also wouldn't want to see his parents unhappy either. So, please if you can embrace the holiday season, enjoy being with family and friends. Drink eggnog and wish everyone a Merry Merry Christmas, I think your son would approve and want you too! Praying that you and your wife find the strength to celebrate, and that you find peace within yourselves.............
God bless us all................
2006-09-28 10:12:34 · answer #7 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the decision based on what feels most comfortable and right for the both of you. I say worry very little about what others will think. You need to resolve and reconcile your grief in the most personal way possible. In my opinion, this is the only way to heal. I speak as a mother who lost her daughter five years ago. I had to stop taking the advice of others, and do things in my own way and own time. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-09-28 02:52:30 · answer #8 · answered by big_shot_nurse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question. I would do what you and your wife would feel right doing. Perhaps, think of what your son would have wanted. My BF died and for years her family wouldn't celebrate anything, finally they decided to start get on with there lives and started to cherish all events because they knew thats what she would have wanted. Whenever I have a birthday I still enjoy it as if she were here, and in a way I know she is, I believe that the people we love who have passed, will always remain with us until our end. Celebrate christmas as if your son is still here, because in a way he is and always will be. The sooner you could get on to do things like you used to, the sooner it will get comfortable to you. Its tough but you can get through it, just think of what your son would have wanted. GOD BLESS !!!
2006-09-28 01:36:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Celebrate your son's life, not morn his death. If you had a great time last year, why shouldn't you do that again!? Seriously, people grief in different ways. When my mom dies, I made her a promise to throw a party, not a funeral service. I want to remember the great things she's done by choice....all the people she's helped, the four son's she's raised on her own, finishing college.... I'd rather do that then celebrate the one minute outside her choosing, it took for her to die. It may sound weird, but that's how I feel. Celebrate life, don't mourn death.
2006-09-28 01:38:12 · answer #10 · answered by Jerrysberries 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am still a grieving mother. death is hard but sooner or latter you both need to stay home because you can not always find some were Else to go Besides do you think he would want you to run from him every year.In joy your memerys each other . GOOD LUCK .
2006-09-28 02:12:27 · answer #11 · answered by janelle p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋