i have been seeing this person for about 2 years but this person is verbally abusive and when i try and stick up for myself i get yelled at
2006-09-27 16:30:44 · 21 answers · asked by Tina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO IS TO LEAVE HIM. DOMESTIC VOILENCE STARTS WITH VERBAL ABUSE, AND IN MOST CASES IT BECOMES PHYSICAL ABUSE. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE ALREADY SCARED OF HIM, SO THE BEST THING TO DO IS LEAVE. IF YOU STAY ANY LONGER IT WILL BE HARDER TO LEAVE AND THE ABUSE MAY GET WORSE. YOU SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID/OR GET YELLED AT WHILE DEFENDING YOURSELF. STAND YOUR GROUND GIRLFRIEND AND LEAVE HIS ***!!!!
2006-09-27 17:14:14 · answer #1 · answered by babgrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, you do realize that you have a choice here don't you!?
By staying with a guy who is verbally abusive for 2yrs you have demonstrated with extreme clarity that you will stick around for more, no matter what. So ask yourself this: "Why should he treat you any better if he doesn't want to?"
I could give you a huge list of things to say to this guy, but I can guarantee you that if any of it came from your lips, that he will yell at you some more. Why? Because after two years of taking it, you have taught him that he can.
The bottom line is, if you don't want to get yelled at, LEAVE!
It's as simple as that. You can try couples counselling if you want but, you can't undo 2yrs of training this guy that he can disrespect you, overnight.
Verbal abuse over time can be more harmful to you than if he physically hit you. If he hit you eventually the cuts & bruises would heal with time. But with verbal abuse the wounds are deep, & you play his hurtfull words over & over & over again in your head, & with each new verbal assault the injuries are accumulative. So as I said at the beginning, you have a choice. You can continue to volunteer for more abuse, or you can trade him in for a more caring, kind, & nurturing man.
Go ahead, & put yourself first!
2006-09-27 16:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think they'll listen to you? If this person is verbally abusive & yells at you when you try to defend yourself, why would you even want to stay with them? Get out of that "relationship", or do you like being someone's doormat? You deserve better
2006-09-27 16:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by yobaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read the book "color Purple" Shake yourself for puttung up with itDust yourself off and walk out the door. Do some work on your self esteem, so it never happens again. Reexamine your ideas of love. {loving behavior should come from both parties} While you are acting like a doormat your partner will continue to abuse you and have no respect for you. If you walk out the door, your partner will have more respect for you, and even if you do get back together,you will have lodged subconsciously that you wont put up with crap again. Good luck.
2006-09-27 16:42:10 · answer #4 · answered by rubyflats 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he really loved you, he wouldn't treat you like that. Tell him how you feel, but plot it out for a while, try brainstorming and thinking about what you truly wish to express to him. Just remember that you're a good enough person to not deserve to be treated that way, and try not to be afraid of him. Truthfully, when I was in a similar situation, I just dumped the guy.
2006-09-27 16:35:07 · answer #5 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, you teach people how to treat you. Balls up and tell him/her how you feel, and exactly how they are going to treat you from now on. You dont have to cuss and scream to get your point across, but be firm. You deserve to be respected, and if they cant treat you with respect then you owe it to yourself to leave.
Maybe something like this " I love you very much, and hope to be with you for a while, but alot of the things you say hurt me and need to stop. As partners we should respect each other and from now on I cant accept you being verbally disrespectful to me."
There are plenty of fish in the sea my dear- dont allow yourself to become more and more insecure because youre to scared to tell someone to treat you kindly. The longer this goes on the harder it will be to fix.
2006-09-27 16:39:04 · answer #6 · answered by sara s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him categorically ," Enough is enough behave properly or else I leave and I mean what I say".If you are lucky he may mend his ways he will be care full not to abuse you and give you the kind of respect that you deserve from him.Or else this planet is full of people and many are very good.
PS: Tell him only when he is in the appropriate mood NOT when he is angry or reactive.
2006-09-27 16:35:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly do you love? Are the good times worth putting up with the bad times? Are there in fact any good times at all? Part of love is accepting people the way they are. He does not love you, he's using you to bolster his sense of power over another. You need to leave him before it gets worse, and it will.
2006-09-27 16:39:36 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ay there r plenty of guys who wont do that to you. tell him to stop or ur leaving. i have this friend, her bf yelled at her once, n she told him if u do it again im leaving. he did a few months later, n she dumped him right then. 2 yr relationship, n shes a very pretty girl, that guy probably feels like an idiot. u dont have to put up with that, dump him.
2006-09-27 16:34:08 · answer #9 · answered by kkong25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to consider getting out of this relationship. It is important to be respected and loved. This may later lead to further abuse.
2006-09-27 16:46:24 · answer #10 · answered by luvngran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋