I am single in my thirties. I have my biological mother, practically a stranger with whom I spent three years of my life. She abused me psychologically and tried to prevent me from finishing High School in order to have me as her servant at home. Such was my situation that I got suicidal after feeling trapped by her and unloved which was far worse than never had met her.
She is emotionally unstable, lacks common sense and moral principles. (Please hold your judgment until the end)
Since she is my only family in the US, where I live and work, she is the beneficiary of my bank account and life insurance which bothers me because first of all, if I die young while still single, she would not, in my opinion, spend the life insurance money wisely. I know her.
I want to start a foundation to award academic scholarship, and complimentary psychological treatment to strugling youth. Also to financially assist adoptive parents.
2006-09-27 16:22:26 · 12 answers · asked by Amy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I would leave her some part of your will, a percentage, I suppose. But I think the idea of a foundation is an appropriate one.
You have some obligation to "honor" her. As someone with a strained relationship with her own mother, I can empathize. I don't believe honor means that you have to be dishonest about what kind of character you understand her to have, but that you have to respect her role. Much as Jesus told the disciples to respect the Scribes and Pharisees because they sat in Moses' seat, but not to become like them. I think we have some obligation to take care of our parents when they cannot take care of themselves, and to be respectful to the best of our ability.
But you do not owe her some huge inheritance, nor do you have to make her your sole beneficiary.
I know it's hard, but pray for guidance in your dealings with her and that you can forgive her completely. Holding on to any resentment just makes your life harder.
One of the books that really helped me with my mom is "Boundaries Face to Face" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I highly recommend it.
2006-09-27 16:42:01 · answer #1 · answered by Contemplative Chanteuse IDK TIRH 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, just because you only have one family member doesn't entitle them to your estate. You are an adult and you can leave your personal property - including the contents of your bank account - to anyone you designate. Anyone.
I have family, but we do not get along - never have. I have, for that reason, made a will leaving my property to a close friend. I have a few investments and indicated to my broker who I designated to be the beneficiary - and it also is not a family member. It's yours to do with as you please.
It's not about honoring any who passed. It's about knowing your last will is going to benefit someone or something that you believe in. You worked hard for it and you want it to fall into the right hands after you are gone. It's that simple.
2006-09-27 16:30:48 · answer #2 · answered by north79004487 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has your roles reversed. In that case, the part about honoring thy father and mother means you don't kick em out in the cold to die when they get old and senile. There's nothing in the Bible about bank accounts and life insurance policies. Perhaps, someday you'll start a family of your own and she won't be your only family, or keep in contact with your family outside the U.S.
I like the idea of strengthening the rights of adoptive parents.
2006-09-27 16:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by angrygramma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is a part of what inspires you to do what you plan to do with your financial resources then in a sense I guess you would be honoring her. You could even say "this is in memory of my aunt and that I want to honor her in this way" (just an example) But anyway May God Lead you in the way you should go.
2006-09-27 16:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by Maze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant!
If you have a particular school in mind, speak with them about setting up the paperwork. This would probably be the easiest way to arrange things for amounts under 50k.
If you know your adoptive agency, you could speak with them. Holt International is a superb agency, also Christian. We have 2 of our 4 adoptive childen through them.
Bless you. You have made my night.
2006-09-27 16:27:55 · answer #5 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe the answer to your question is--that would definately honor the person who made such an impact on your life.
Being a mother is not a right...it's a priviledge. Your 'real' mom abused that. You have a mom. Honor her.
Hope that helped!
Kas
2006-09-27 16:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by scc1fan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss and the abuse that you have suffered.
I think that you have a good question, but you might not appreciate my answer. I don't think that you will honor your addoptive mother because those who have died do not know anything and can not be honored. However I think that it will help you to remember her and the values that she taught you. It would be foolish to leave the money for your bio-mom. Leave your money to help those who will appreciate it and where it will be put to good use.
2006-09-27 16:41:53 · answer #7 · answered by Marty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you will honor her with your awesome idea. The best thing you can do for your birth mother is keep her in your prayers. May the Lord bless your project!!!
2006-09-27 16:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by AcePrincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a good idea. She sounds foolish (no offense).
2006-09-27 16:24:54 · answer #9 · answered by p2of9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You go girl!
2006-09-27 16:27:46 · answer #10 · answered by renaissance man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋